Keanna turns the big 6!

Dear Family and Friends,

9:50, its been a big day. This morning Ken and I walked our 3 miles and when I returned Donna and Ruth were up and in the kitchen. How nice to come home to someone here. The dogs were loving having friendly ladies to beg from. We had some toast and I let them sample Stripples, fake bacon and they were kind in their comments. After breakfast they loaded up and left for Weed, a 4 hour drive. I showered and prepared myself for an appraisal over in San Bruno. I arrived to find lovely people, a brother and sister caring for their parents house. The father died in January and now they have to deal with the house and its belongings. I was so impressed with the kind way they dealt with each other. So many times when there is an estate everyone becomes evil and selfish, not a pretty sight at all. Today was different.

I drove back to the office and did some light work, found new orders, took calls and prepared to go with Keanna, Nikki, Steve and Kallie to a birthday dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory in stockton, Keanna's choice. They sang to her and we all had a great time. When she got home there were balloons in the front yard from Lois and Ray. She was so surprised and delighted.

I've included a few photos taken tonight. Keanna actually took most of them with my camera.

Now I'm home nursing a very sore spot in my back. I just got out of the jetted tub hoping that would ease the pain and I suppose it did a bit.

Life is so different now than it used to be. There is less joy, more stress, more alone time, lots of alone time and so much time to think about my life. How I wish I would have lived it in a less selfish manner. Not that I dwell on my faults all the time but when you are alone and have time to think a lot it is easy to wish that you had done better on all scores.

For now I'm saying good night to all,

love

tim

Living with a grateful heart

Dear Family and Friends,
This evening as I write Donna and Ruth are sleeping upstairs. They have had a big day and have experienced something Nan and I often had to face as well. The physicians at UCSF are not always able to be on time for appointments. I remember sitting with Nan who was confined to her wheel chair for several hours before finally getting to see the doctor we had come to see. Today a 10 am appointment ended up taking 5 and 1/2 hours. The surgeon had to do some unexpected but needed surgery and simply was not available. But when they finally did get to see him things turned out well. Suzie will have surgery on the 12th of May and they expect the surgery to last 6 to 10 hours. They are in hopes they can remove the tumor and in the process remove the cancer. They see no signs of it spreading so Suzie has a very good chance of recovery.
They fought traffic to Bay Point where Suzie is staying and then came on home to my place. We had pizza and lots of fun conversation. Lois and Ray let me in on a secret. Background: this morning I decided to make bread, I pulled the machine out and looked inside to discover that the mixing part was missing. I emailed or called Sylvia to check at the church to see if it was there since I had taken bread to the church for potluck. What I had forgotten was I had given Ray half a loaf of bread and the mixer piece was in the bread. They decided to just wait and see if I would miss the little part and today I finally discovered it was missing. Tonight they showed up with the missing piece and we all had a very good laugh over it. Now I can make bread again, yea!
I attempted to see 3 properties today but the second one in Concord stood me up. She said she had asked her agent to reschedule with me for next Tuesday but no one ever passed that little tidbit of info on to me so I show up on time, wait and then knock, the teenager son does not know anything about it so I shoot my comps and move on. On to Oakland and then home again.
Life is certainly uncertain these days. With water running out of the wall in the laundry room, the potential of being out of business on Friday due to no orders and a general unease about the market, expenses, taxes, my weight. Well life is not a big happy game, yet it is pretty good. The weather is wonderful this time of year, the dryer now dries tough loads in my cycle instead of three, money has come in the mail the last two days, the house payment is paid, my health is pretty good in spite of several nasty coughing spells each day, Ken and I are walking in the mornings and the lawn automatic sprinklers are now working without leaks.
There are so many things to be grateful for, living in America, having good health care, having cars that actually run, having work to do at least for now, having a host of good friends and a great family. What is not to like? Its not bad.
Thanks for being my friend, for enhancing my life, for putting up with me.

love to all

Tim

Interesting day

Dear Family and Friends,

Today was a little different from others. Gerry was here but was sleeping soundly when Ken and I did our routine around the lake. It was cold and hard work to get around. The Gerry rose and we had breakfast. He suggested we buy Ego's so we had frozen, toasted waffles for breakfast. They actually tasted great. Then as I worked for a bit in the office he did the back windows and the deck making them shine. Mid morning the small appliance repair guy arrived. He tackled the washer and found a real mess behind it. Turns out the washer is not leaking, that is the good news but the wall is leaking behind the washer, as the washer begins to drain water the water begins to seep out from the bottom of the wall. So I'll have to open up the wall, dry it out and solve the leak in the drain pipe. While he was moving things around I had him replace the vinyl air vent between the dryer and the wall with a legal one. He suggested that I allow him to clean out the air duct that extends clear across the house and comes out on the east side. It sounded good to me so he began. He had to cut away the current vent exit cover and then ran a little brush up the pipe, lint began to come out, then he added an extension to the brush and hooked it to his drill, more lint came out and after enough extensions he reached the dryer wall but as he did so we began to hear the sound of the dryer and to see debris flying out. I've included a photo of the pile of lint that was removed from the duct pipe. It is really amazing that the dryer could dry anything with a complete blockage in the line. That was money well spent.

After he left it was time for Gerry and I to drive to Taco Bell for lunch. Gerry was buying and we enjoyed a good meal.

Gerry loaded his Odyssey and headed home and I drove down to pick up Keanna. She was in rare form as usual and we headed to McDonalds. Then we went to the local park where she demonstrated that she is learning about monkey bars, scary to me, exciting to her. Finally we came back home and I worked, she used the copy machine, created a few pictures, played with her doll house and ended up watching the Disney channel until her mom came with Kallie.

Tomorrow I'll settle down once again for more intense work and I see three in the field from mid day on.

When I called Jerry, my brother, I expected to have sad news regarding Suzie but instead it was rather upbeat. Her appointment in SF went well today and it looks like the cancer has not spread, that the existing tumor lends itself to surgery. Tomorrow she will meet with the surgeon at UCSF but all of the family feels a bit better tonight about her future prospects. Thank you Lord.

Hoping you are having a good evening or morning.

Sending love to all,

Tim

Gerry, Ray do their magic

Good evening
Gerry and I are just back from conducting an appraisal in Bethel Island and then having dinner at a tiny Mexican place with great food.
This morning Ken and I hike around the lake in very breezy cool weather. Then Gerry and I had breakfast, Gerry fixed eggs and along with sourdough toast the meal was great. Then we migrated to the front yard where we tackled two leaking sprinklers. One turned out to be a broken sprinkler body, an easy fix but the other one had a pipe separation and Ray made the mistake of wandering over and ended up on his knees doing most of the work fixing the broken pipe. Then after getting both leaks fixed we tackled the yard drain which was plugged with layers of mud. Now that drains just fine. Lois was nearby to offer supervising guidance. Ray also waded into a broken light assembly for the fish tank and took a ballast with him to have it tested. Early afternoon I hit the showers and then we made a deposit of checks on hand and had a late lunch at the Boardwalk, a little place by the boat harbor. Then we came back and I went to work setting up new orders and Gerry took a nap. Finally at 5:50 we drove out to Bethel Island to see a very nice place with a good water view and a wonderful shop. They also have a very nice stair chair and promised to let others know that my stair chair is for sale.
It has been windy all day today so the temperature stayed cool and comfortable. Tomorrow I must settle down and produce some work. Jean, writer, has been cranking out work and I need to tweak it and get it out the door.
Suzie has a biopsy in the morning in San Francisco. Donna drove down today and they are all in a hotel near the medical facility in SF tonight. She has an appointment with a surgeon connected to UCSF on Wednesday morning and important decisions will be made regarding her care. She needs us to remember her to the Lord.
Thanks for being there day after day. In this old nasty world we need each other to help make sense out of an otherwise crazy upside down world. How the Lord must long to just take His children home.
love to all

tim

Mission accomplished, campout a huge success, Keanna turns 6

Dear Ones,
I woke this morning to Starr barking softly in my ear. She was thirty and was seeking permission to get off the bed in the motorhome. Finally I rolled out and put water in her bowl and then she was happy.
I arrived about 9:15 Friday evening and Dick helped me get parked and level. Shortly thereafter I fell asleep. Sabbath morning Ron and I walked in the cool crisp air and enjoyed the lake and the breezes. The dogs loved everything about the walk. Bruce held a lively discussion with the ever growing group at the edge of the lake, then potluck brought us back to the circle. There were many different delicious foods and I even tried my hand at a couple things which worked out well and were quickly eaten. After lunch set in many of us continued to sit and catch up, Dick took different families on his boat to troll around the lake and some of us eventually found our way back to our RV's to nap. The weather was perfect, never too warm and only chilly enough to require a light coat at night. A high point of the trip for me was to renew a long treasured friendship with Chuck and Linda Bennett, friends who now live in Stockton. Chuck has a special way with his 12 string Martin but had been unable to play or sing for the past few years for health reasons. Now with a new medicine on board he was in rare form once again. As the sun fell in the west the eagles continued to catch fish in the lake as we watched. Then as darkness encroached Chuck began to plan and for a couple hours in spite of the cool air his fingers found all the right places on the strings and magic was spun for those sitting nearby. A big fire was burning and people were roasting anything they could find on narrow sticks and Chuck led us through a musical journey which touched all of us at one time or another. It had been 15 years since Chuck and Linda had been able to attend a campout and what a huge blessing they were to this one.
At one point someone counting came close to 50 people in attendance. There were people in tents, tiny campers, 5th wheel trailers, pickup campers and even large motorhomes. The mood was pleasant and uplifting, friendships were renewed, new acquaintances made and the power of nature did her work on us all. Cell phones did not work, there was no Internet in sight, the stars were overpowering at night with little interfering ambient light in the area.
This morning we woke to another perfect day and a common breakfast was created. Again the fruit, waffles, eggs, pastries, potatoes and on and on made for a huge breakfast. There are some very good cooks who give freely of their time and talents to create outstanding meals. So it was with reluctance that I loaded up the motorhome and headed out. I had an important appointment to keep. Keanna was enjoying her sixth birthday party today. It was held at a gym where she goes for tumbling lessons each week and two girls guided the little ones to enjoy all kinds of different equipment. Then we were ushered upstairs to a perfectly laid out table with cake, decorations and tasty foods. When that part was over we moved to yet another room where Keanna opened her presents and got to thank all the little people and their parents who attended. It all went perfectly. Keanna had a great time and seemed to handle it well.
This evening Gerry Lammerding drove down for a quick visit and we've been playing the front yard doing some necessary work. Ray and Lois came to supervise and keep an eye on us. We prepared the motorhome for storage again and then drove it back to its place in storage. Now we are home again, Gerry made some outstanding toasted cheese sandwiches and I made the soup. He brought a tasty little cake that had come from Loma Linda.
I'm sorry I could not blog on Sabbath evening but it was not to be.
So now we all move into a new week. For Art and Connie it means a few days camping, for Suzie it means a biopsy to determine the extend of the cancer and if the tumor can be surgically removed. This testing will be done in SF. Her mother and sister will be nearby to give her support. For many of us it means going back to work trying to stay ahead of the bills.
For those of you facing life changing situations I so feel for you, there is nothing fair about a lot that happens in this world, not fair, not just but to be faced anyway.
How I wonder what God thinks about our present reality, about the world's current condition.
So I send my love to all tonight, family and friends, you demonstrate God to me in so many ways, you are a very special bunch and I'm grateful for your love and care..........

Tim

Leaving

Good evening
I'm leaving now for the church campout at Lake McSwain. Jerry and Donna are driving back to Weed in the morning. Suzie will get out in the morning but have more tests on Tuesday. She is feeling better today.
I've decided to go for it afterall even though I'll arrive later than planned.

I won't be able to blog tomorrow night but will be back with you on Sunday night.

Lets keep praying for Irene and Suzie.

Love to all,


tim

Another very busy day, Suzie gets a stent

Dear Family and Friends,
How nice to have family in the house. This morning Jerry and I took the dogs to the park for a quick walk. We had breakfast of Belgium waffles and then I did research and left for the first of 5 appointments today. I finished up about 7:20 in Hercules in the cold wind and then drove the few miles to the hospital where we waited together for Suzie to be returned from recovery. About 4:30 a doctor wheeled her down to the surgery and she had a laproscopic procedure which had several purposes. First and foremost they wanted to install a stent to relieve back pressure in the pancreas and the liver. A mass of some kind yet undermined was blocking the passage of fluid from bile ducts and causing both the liver and pancreas to be expanded. This was causing extreme pain. While they were in place doing the stent installation they were also able to collect cells from the mass for testing in the lab. They were able to observe the movement of fluid through the stent while the camera was still in place, a very good thing.
If Suzie feels much better tomorrow she will allowed to leave the hospital, if she does not feel better she will stay put. If the cells collected are enough to determine the nature of the mass that will be one thing. If the nature of the mass is still not determined then she will need to go to UCSF where a complicated biopsy will be performed which will pin down exactly whether she has cancer or not.
After Suzie was back in her room we spend a few minutes with her and then left her to rest. We found a Chilli's nearby and had soup and chips. Then we drove home and are now all ready to retire for the evening as its almost midnight.
So tomorrow remains somewhat up in the air at this point. It is great to have guests in my freshly cleaned house and its so special to have Jerry and Donna here. I can't quite believe it.
Please continue to pray for Irene and Suzie. Irene is holding on but may need a stent herself soon as a tumor is beginning to block a duct in her liver.

love to all of you,

tim

Running fast these days

Dear Family and Friends,
9:08 and I'm finally able to slow down a bit to say hello. I started early and did pre cleaning for the wonderful Tonya who came at 8:45. There are some things just to awful to have someone else deal with. She did her magic and I left for an appointment in Oakley. It went smoothly but the carpets were really really bad. Then I headed back to the office and as I drove my brother Jerry called to tell me that Suzie was being admitted into the hospital due to extreme pain and yellowing of her skin and eyes. I continued home and took care of some critical conditions for lenders and then drove over to Martinez and spent a happy afternoon with a very special person who has faced just about everything in her life and has a smile. After awhile she was given some pain meds IV which calmed the terrific pains she was having and finally she fell asleep. My business calls kept me heading the halls so I would not disturb anyone and about 5:30 I left knowing that Jerry and Donna would arrive soon thereafter. They had an uneventful trip having driven about 300 miles from Weed.
Now we are all home and they are just going to bed. It is such a nice feeling to know they are here. And thanks to Tonya's excellent work this morning things are pretty much in order and tidy for them.
Work continues to be a challenge and there is growing concern in the industry over what will happen in a week when the new FNMA rules kick in. What is so hard to accept is hearing the holy pronouncements coming from FNMA about wanting to only make the right loans, this from the same bunch who caused the majority of the current meltdown. Now they are perfect and handing out orders on how the rest of us should behave. When government takes charge look out and hide your walnut.
This morning after doing the pre cleaning of the rough spots in the house I took time to plant a couple tomato plants. Planting the plants was no problem but getting all the weeds that had grown in the pots out, now that was something else. What a root growth some of the weeds had, amazing but I finally wrestled all the old stuff out and planted the nice new green plants. Lois was kind enough to come over and water them today while I was out. I still have some more plants to find homes for but that will be another day.
Right now its time for bed and rest. Jerry and I will walk to the park in the morning, that will be sort of a dream come true as we talk about our walking nearly every day, he walks on trails in the forests surround Weed and I walk around the lake here on pavement. His experiences sound better.
Once again tonight I seek your prayers for Suzie, tomorrow she will have a procedure which I can't spell which involves a camera in a vein with the ability to install a stent to release pend up fluids in a duct. Also there needs to be some way of determining exactly what is growing and what to do about it. I think also of Irene, how can one not think of Irene. If there was ever a case of someone doing God's errands it is Irene so we pray that God will be extra close to her now in this time of unchartered paths.
So I send my love to all,

Tim

Some days seem to work better than others

Hi
Today didn't work so well. The bright spot was as always Keanna coming to visit. Today she mastered drawing a star which she has been wrestling with, worked with the stapler, did colors, family drawings, snacked on crackers, enjoyed McDonalds and lite up the whole house.
The rest of the day was rugged. At this point in time lenders are being highly unreasonable in terms of what they want. Then they evidently don't read the reports. Today one ask for the 1004MC form, it was already in their hands, they ask for photos of all 4 sides of the house, the photos were already included, they ask for how many days the comps had been on the market and of course it was clearly marked on the grid, are they blind?
This morning I determined to tackle something I'd been working on for some time. I decided to learn to do my own payroll as I really could not ask someone to keep doing it for free. So I signed up for a nifty program that only costs $9.95 a month from Intuit but setting it up was no small process. I had waded through about half of it already in the past but decided today was the day to get it done and start using it so I can cut checks to the valuable people who are a part of the team. It took hours but I was able to make it work and cut the check I needed to cut. Then while I was at it I decided to upgrade the Quick Books Pro from the 2006 version I had to a 2009 version. They had let me know that as of the end of the month they would no longer process check payments I would receive from people unless I upgraded so I had a coupon for a savings and waded through that process as well but it took hours and I ended up at the end talking to that little guy in India who is sitting on his bicycle and talking on the phone, at least is sounded like that. He went through a long spiel before finally giving me the final code to make the whole thing work. Over half a day wasted in busy work that yielded no income. Then I set to work on important appraisals but of course it was 2 pm and time to pick up Keanna. That was a nice break which I enjoyed. She allowed me to work with only an occasional request for assistance though she did express her displeasure that we could not go to the park and play.
Now its bed time and I'm trying to make sense of everything. Four new orders arrived today which is thrilling but I have several to finish up and many to schedule, to see.
In the morning Tonya comes to make sense of this place so I have to clean ahead of her the really nasty things the dogs do, no one wants to deal with that. Sort of a pre cleaning!
I've hardly had a time to pause today between phone calls, orders, complaints and conditions. I grabbed a griller for lunch, 90 seconds in the microwave and oatmeal for breakfast, bagel tonight for dinner.
I spoke to another appraiser friend today. He and I have worked in this area for many years and he is just as nervous about what to expect in May as I am. He has heard stories from young appraisers who are totally willing to produce FHA appraisals for $200. I really don't know how they can live with such a low fee. I guess appraise on one hand and food stamps on the other. In contrast I've been charging $450 for FHA appraisals for the last 6 years and give a discount for upfront payment. My clients are perfectly fine with that but the new wave of management companies will destroy all of our relationships to brokers and the work will go to the lowest bidder and there is always someone who will bid it lower. Perhaps its time to remember that the Lord remains on His throne and nothing catches Him by surprise.
Today I've enjoyed a conversation with Dana. She reported that on Saturday it rained 11 and 1/2 inches during that one day. If it happened here we would be in flood conditions. That is a whole lot of rain.
Well good night from my house to yours.

love to all

Tim

Big day, good news in the mailbox

Dear Family and Friends,
Ken and I walked again this morning as our master Sargent LeAnn told us to walk or else. Thank goodness for loving friends to urge us to do our best. It seemed a very long ways around but I survived and so did Ken. Then it was home to finish up an appraisal and hit the road with a on time departure for Santa Rosa. The trip went well and I arrived to the minute on time at a very nice townhouse development. The nice lady lost her husband 20 years ago and is totally committed to working with her church. The home was perfect with soaring Redwood trees nearby. After finding and photographing the comps I set the GPS for Olive Garden. Lunch was mid afternoon and tasted oh so good. Then it was back on the road for the trip to an empty lot in Pittsburg. Filled with construction equipment of every kind the lot is being used for some purpose at the bank and an appraisal is needed. However finding similar comparables has proven to be nearly impossible. Over the years I've found that there are very few impossible properties, just ones that take a little longer to figure out.
This evening found me back at a grief group meeting and it was really good as a tuneup. This whole process of relearning how to live as a new person without the comfort and aid of your spouse has proved to be challenging for all of us in the group. I appreciate the honesty and raw emotions that are shared and often out of someone elses story moments of clarity happen and an answer or a new question is formed. And I must add there is always someone there with a story of their experience that helps put ones own story in perspective. I am convinced that the only way into the exclusive club we share is the actual process of losing a spouse. Over and over again the same thought is shared, I thought I was prepared for the moment of loss, of death because we had spent so many months, years going through the decline together. I just knew I was ready, steeled and had already felt it all, oh yes and then it happens, you hear that last breath and the shudder of death and something rips apart inside like you can not imagine.
The flip of all of this is the exact opposite, of enjoying life with your loved one without pain, without suffering, without risk. Oh that I could grant you a full awareness of what you have on a daily basis, the joy of hearing your lover fall asleep, of seeing them wake and stretch, of coming home after work and the reunion, the little thrill when you see them come into your place of work, or walk into church with them, the pride that comes from seeing them all dressed up fancy for a wedding or a night out. Together is definitely more fun than being alone. I know, I've done both.
A few minutes ago I was on the phone with my brother and as we spoke I casually opened a envelope expecting payment for one appraisal which I was anticipating depositing in the morning but to my shock and delight it was payment for several appraisals, enough to make the house payment! I'm still on a high because of it. Can you imagine how I'm going to treat this company in the future? They pay, we play. And to heighten the fun I have a new order from them in the fax machine, ready to go, ready to see! After so many dry days with nothing in the mail this is a real blessing.

I was able to talk with Suzie for quite a while this afternoon as I drove back from Santa Rosa. She certainly appreciates all the prayers that I know are ascending for her. Now the plans have changed again. She is not having a procedure this Wednesday as we expected but instead is having lab work and then she will be told where the next step will take place. So Jerry and Donna are not going to drive down after all, here I have a clean yard and on Wednesday morning a clean house, yes I am finally breaking down and hiring some help with the house. LeAnn has located someone she trusts so goodbye dog hair, cat hair, dust and grime! Lets have a party! I'll look forward to when Jerry and Donna can come down.
I know Irene also appreciates your prayers as she searches for the next step in tumor control. I am happy to report that Kallie is doing well and back on her little feet again!

Sending love to all,

Tim

A different kind of day

Dear Family and Friends,
I'm writing now as I plan to be in bed in a few minutes. Planning to start this new week right with some rest for a change.
I allowed myself to sleep in this morning and then found some very old work shoes and headed outside. Following up on the yard work I had started I waded into the edging and knocking down some very eager weeds that had grown. The rose bushes are loaded with beautiful roses that Nan selected over the years and thanks to kind LeAnn's trimming at the right time they are now in bloom. Whites and reds, yellows and pinks, wow, they are a wonder to behold.
So I pulled out my little electric edger and began. First I edged the front lawn and wiped out some nasty weeds here and there, then I moved to the side and rear areas. These areas were over 3 feet deep in weeds. I just waded in with the edger and it did an amazing job. Lois came out at 9 to wonder why I had to be working so early on a Sunday morning, actually she was kidding but I guess I amazed myself too. Not being used to doing anything physical I began to fade long before the job was done but I just stuck to it and then followed up with the mower to collect some of the knocked down weeds. It looks so much better now. Finally I quit to go make breakfast and that turned out to be whole wheat pancakes and soy milk. It tasted great. Then I moved to the garage to tinker with the failed sprinkler controller. No matter how hard I tried I could not revive it so finally I drove to town to the Ace hardware place and purchased another one. Upon arriving back home I programmed it and hooked it up but found that nothing happened, just silence and no water. So it was back to the actual valves and a quick redo of the common wires. Still nothing, so back to the common wires and more careful attention. This time I was rewarded with functioning values so that mission was accomplished.
By this time it was time to get cleaned up for an appraisal assignment which was a local one. I did that one fully intending to come back and plant the tomato plants but instead I napped in the recliner for a bit and then started to work on appraisal stuff with one more quick trip back to town for a little halogen bulb for my desk lamp.
When I finally realized I had not eaten for hours I went in search of grub. What I found was the sack of broccoli and cauliflower I had cooked by forgotten in the microwave on Friday night. It had been in the frig since and was ready for a quick warm up in the microwave and tasted great. Along with some brown rice the meal was complete. Then a quick visit over to Ray and Lois to observe his dock work and the sunset, well I missed the sunset. Now I'm back and still working on an appraisal for a Livermore property. However I'll finish it tomorrow, I'm heading for bed now. I'm sore but I actually feel quite good. I'm really looking forward to seeing Jerry and Donna later in the week.
Well here we go into the new week, are we ready? Probably not but its coming anyway. Once again I would ask that you remember Suzie, Irene and little Kallie who is still not feeling well.

love to all

Tim

A pleasant day

Dear Family and Friends,
Yes I did make it through the night last night with my precious little kidos but not without incident. Keanna finally fell asleep quite late and and Kallie woke just before 5. When I picked her up she was burning up hot. The room was not that warm and I had put her in a medium warm sleeper. Her little body radiated heat so I changed her into a cooler outfit, fed her a bottle which she drank about 1/2 of and then put her down in her little bed. Sometime after 6 she woke and was still warm. I was very worried and Keanna thought she felt too warm too. I took her downstairs and rocked her in the recliner where we stayed for nearly an hour. She would cuddle in and then reach for her bottle and have some more. Finally she cried a tiny bit and up came the bottle, right into her precious little pink blanket which is her special oasis in the world. Shortly after Nikki called to check in and after hearing about Kallie came right over and took her home. kallie went back to bed for a nap but has been running some fever all day. Poor little precious girl, you can see in her eyes they does not feel right. I've not heard how she is doing this evening. Keanna was a great help and has a wisdom taught her by Nikki and STeve that is far beyond her years. She is a great helper.
I dropped Keanna off later in the morning and then drove to church where I once again got to enjoy worship with Jessica, our new pastor. She does an excellent job of communicating and a good sign is a full parking lot. Loren and Emily took pity on me and invited me for lunch. Wow what a feast, just seems like everything they touch tastes great. Then I got to spend a few minutes catching up with a friend and headed home. I napped a bit and then pulled out the old $75 lawn mower I purchased a year ago from a neighbor and after a bit of coaxing it started. I mowed my tiny yard which is mostly weeds right now, then I fed it some miracle stuff that is supposed to produce a flowing green lawn by morning and turned on the sprinklers. I realized that they were not coming on each morning as the front lawn was as hard as a rock. So I began to tweak and work on the timer. Before long I noticed a thin stream of smoke coming from the timer and it grew more intense. It did not make me reassured that my tweaking was being successful and now in spite of wiring new connections to each value it will not work. Perhaps the smoke meant something! So literally $25 went up in smoke. Tomorrow morning I'm going to wake into the weeds, plant the tomatoes and get a new timer somewhere. Perhaps this time I can find one that I can understand. This one has always been a mystery to me. Why I need to have three time zones for each value I'll never know and it never did what I thought I had ask it to do. Shouldn't a masters degree mean one can set sprinklers? Evidently not.
Today was another of those days where carrying the mail in does not require any heavy lifting, no checks, no bills and no fun in the box.
I am reminded once again how special the Tracy SDA Church is, well actually not the church, the building is nice and freshly painted but its the people who show up. Hugs, kind words, genuine attention, thoughtful comments, boy does that all feel really really good. I live in world right now where mixing with people is somewhat of an effort, often one that is just not worth it. Someone tried to tell me years ago that once you are a single again you move to a different place in a social setting, when you walk in you are on your own, no one to watch your back, make sure your fly is up, your hair is down and that you don't have toilet paper on your shoe, you are alone and sometimes it is just more costly in effort and emotions than it is worth to mix it up. I can see why some people become reclusive and withdraw from life. While I'm not there it is pretty easy to let things slide that are not crying out for attention and only when the thought of someone you care about might come to visit do you pause to look about and decide some attention to detail is in order.
At times I'm tempted to think, how did things go so wrong? Our family was on a normal path, kids were maturing, doing well, doing great things with their lives, we had a comfortable house, went on nice vacations, had a good job which seemed to contribute to our community, loved being apart of a great church family who we loved to be with, to camp with, to worship with. How different it is now. Nan was snatched away by an enemy we did not know even existed and with her passing everything changed. She was the key to so many things, the light at the end of each week, the friend waiting at home to come to, the holiday and birthday specialist, the anniversary planner. Gone.
I will always be deeply indebted to my precious Nikki and Jason and their spouses for their continual care and support and to the little ones who are like precious gifts of silver and gold.
And so it goes, I've not yet found a way to love life again on a hourly consistent basis. Will I ever? I'm told yes, at this point I don't believe or disbelieve.
So days like this which started with the kidos, had friends and worship, luscious lunch with friends and now afterglow from the day, its been good. I hope and pray that its been good for you too. Please pray for Suzie and Irene and for Kallie too.

love to all,

Tim

Kallie and Keanna are in the house

Dear Friends and Family,

10:45 and the girls are finally sleeping and settled for the night. Nikki delivered them and many related items early this evening. She brought in a little pen with connecting plastic pieces that worked perfectly to keep Kallie safe. Lois delivered a movie and stayed for a bit to help with the kidos. I made pasta for Keanna and Nikki whipped up some baby food. I don't have too good of luck feeding Kallie but she dined on cherrios and snacks and then took a bottle to finish her meal. Then I held her for awhile and she watched Keanna play games and Lois make faces. Finally Keanna told me that Kallie was showing signs of being ready for bed so I get her ready. Getting her ready is no small task for someone with all thumbs. She keeps arms and leggs going continually and you just have to catch her at the right moment. What fun, what great fun. Now she is sleeping deeply in her little bed. Keanna and I made popcorn and she watched a DVD in her grammys little TV, then she transferred the DVD to the TV in her room and started to wind down. She had discovered a very clever little book attached to the new Cherrios box and had me open it, we read that book about giving dogs a bath before she fell asleep.

This has been a week that defies description really. Everything you read about the lending industry getting tighter is very much true. I'm facing conditions from underwriters I've never faced before, unbelievable comments and questions that even with my 22 years of experience I struggle to answer and cope with. As you know things tend to move from one extreme to the other and right now everyone just wants to be safe so the biggest fear for an underwriter is to have a loan come back and bite them after it closes.

In addition to underwriting hassles there is the issue of just trying to get paid. One client owes me well over $18,000,a sum that would make a huge difference in getting doctor bills and basic bills caught up. Yet there is no indications that there will be much paid very soon. One little side issue is basic allergies. I've got them, Nan and I both struggled with them every spring as so many people do. In desperation I sought the advice of my special person at Longs Drug, Sandy. She advised Zyrtec or Longs version of it. So I just take a tablet every night with my meds before I go to bed. Yet I know from past experience that after a few days that tends to cause depression. At this point I think the side effects are more than offset by the benefit I'm receiving. This has been a tough week to slug through and keep going. With Ken out of town at the races somewhere I've let the walking slack off a bit. This morning I took the dogs to the park which they loved. I know its better than nothing and I had so much to accomplish. So I waded through some nasty conditions on a duplex in Oakland, set up files, reviewed and emailed out two appraisals Jean had been so kind to help with and then set out to complete a very old appraisal I've been working on but had not finished. Well this afternoon I was happy to drive two copies to his house. That plus a quick deposit of funds and then back home to mop and prepare a bit for the girls.

I so appreciate hearing from my wonderful friends. They call in spite of knowing they may not get the best and happiest response from me, they call and urge me to my best and that means a whole lot. There was a time when I had a whole lot more confidence than I do now. When someone raises a question about an appraisal I've completed my first thought is, they are right, I am wrong when i used to think, how dare they question my work. Its a subtle change but I've got the humble thing down pretty well right now. There are so many reasons to be humble.

This evening I spoke to Suzie, Donna's daughter and the reports coming from medical people are alarming so far. Next week she will face much more invasive tests which should give better answers. meanwhile she is in a lot of pain and barely can function. I learned today that Jerry and Donna will come down this week so they can be with Suzie for the tests she is facing. They will be my house guests and I'm totally pleased.

So I'm hoping each of you will find at least part of what you are hoping for this weekend. Be kind to the one you are with, it is not a right but a privilege to be loved and in a relationship with someone. It also could be taken at any moment so live more in the moment and express yourself often, honestly and unselfishly.

Love to all,

Tim

Holding on

Dear Ones,
Its late and time to be asleep. I've made some progress today, seen properties and did some catching up.
This morning I just got up and went to work. The dogs were very disappointed that we didn't do the park walk. Since Ray suggested I add a small cushion to my work chair it is much less painful after the long hours of sitting and working. At 11 I saw a sad little house in Bay Point. I know there is a very happy little family who are looking forward to their first house and in many ways it is like the first house that Want Construction built for us in Tracy. Which we were totally thrilled with at the time. This sad little house has been painted dark red over most of the walls of the whole house, the hardwood floors are there but need refinishing, the kitchen door hangs from one hinge, all the heating ducts are taped closed, not sure why. And the selling price, $90,000 and as I looked at the comps I found many homes to have sold for as low as $56,000 in the area. After completing the appraisal, meeting the buyers, receiving their check (yes) then I drove to Discovery Bay where I saw a totally different kind of house. Large at over 3,600 Sq.Ft. it had the distinction of having cat and dog poop on the floors of several rooms in the second level of the house. Here is a house that was once worth over a million dollars and its treated like that. I was really surprised to see such lousy care of a house. One room almost overwhelmed me with the stench and I could not stay in there but for a minute. After that I came home and worked for a bit and then drove to Livermore to shoot comps for one I could not finish the other day. Then home to relax and make a little food. Lois came over for a minute to deliver some Starbucks lite mocha drinks she had found for a deal and commented on the pretty little stuffed bird I had in the kitchen, then it moved. Somehow I had a pretty little bird with a lot of red on his or her head in the kitchen. We opened the doors, the kitty became very interested and after many attempts Lois finally caught the bird in a fish net and we released it outside. Excitement!
This has been a very tough week to keep my spirits up. There is a lot going on as I've explained in the appraisal profession right now and no one knows how its going to work out. There are lawsuits pending to put off the new legal junk that is being forced on our profession but who knows the outcome.
As many of you know its just a challenging time to live, work and survive right now. We need to pray for each other and again I ask if you could pray for my good friends, Irene and Suzie. Both face uncertain medical futures right now.

Go I bid you a warm good night, tomorrow night I have the girls so it should be an interesting evening. They bring so much happiness and joy with them.

love to all,

Tim

About as boring as it gets...

Dear Family and Friends,
I'm glad its time to go to bed. I don't have to have concern and stress while I'm asleep. Its that kind of life right now, high stakes and a lot of unknown. Of course then there is the known that is also challenging. How different today was without Keanna to ignite joy and laughter. She went to her cheer leading workshop tonight and I've not yet heard how it went, I'm sure she enjoyed it!
I rolled out after a rather cool night. Just when I adjust the covers for warmer weather we get this blustery patch of weather which dispatches a chill into the night air. No matter how hard Starr tried she could not keep me warm. I finally put the bed warmer on the low setting to get through the night. This morning I rolled out and came directly to work with only a yogurt for breakfast. I had things to get done and yes I've got them done which gives mind satisfaction. I've also collected a few checks today and even some green stuff, last time I was able to save it for weeks without spending it until the bank account was in dire straits so I went and plopped it into the account to save overdraft fees.
This afternoon I drove over to Stockton to see a very nice duplex which the owners are trying to save from foreclosure. The lender has taken so long that the appraisal expired, they needed it updated. The comparables have gotten even worse than last time. It is so discouraging to work day after day with situations where the values have dropped so much that the people have no choice but to just give it back to the bank.
This morning I was sailing along writing when a call brought me up short. Turns out what you see on the screen does not always stay the same when you do the pdf lockup. This new form that is causing so much trouble for appraisers, 1004MC has some lines that are darkened meaning we no longer have to fill them out since the data was not available from any source. On the screen and when I print out the page the offending spaces are darkened out but after locking the page up with the pdf writer the darkened space disappears. So an underwriter was on the phone wanting the spaces filled out, I knew I had filled them out as instructed. After an hour with the writer of my software I got a meek, whoops, we have a glitch in our software. That means for everyone using this software to write appraisals in the whole US they are creating forms that underwriters will not like, sounds like a huge problem and of course I had to be the one to discover it and now they know. Great, one hour out of a very busy morning wasted!
While I was on my way to the duplex in Stockton I got a panic call from a client to say that a lender had put a file on suspense because they did not like the comps I used in Oakland for a duplex. Well good luck finding any others, its just not a great time to be doing income property appraisals right now, very few comps and they are terrible when you do find them. And of course hanging over my head is the BIG change in the way appraisal work is to be ordered after the first of May. There is huge confusion about who will be ordering appraisals and of course I wonder if I'll still get any work. Have you faced something where you keep placing it in God's hands and then a few minute later you discover you've got it in your hands again. That is my situation with this huge possible life changing ordering quandary. No one knows what will happen.
Oh by the way I did get a check in the mail today! So the check filter I was concerned about must have broken and let one slip through. It felt good to open a letter and there was a check and it was for a property I'm seeing tomorrow, great news! Even nicer it is right here in Discovery Bay. But first I'm off to Pittsburg to see a place that two years ago was over $400K and it just sold for, are you ready................. $90,000. Soon you will have a choice, do I buy groceries this week or shall I go buy a house!

Tonight I would like to ask for your prayers for a friend of mine. Her name is Suzie and she is Donna's daughter, Donna is my brothers wife. Suzie lives in Concord and is facing very serious health issues and could really be lifted by your prayers. Thanks for remembering her.

So I bid you each goodnight, I miss people, I'm not really loving this being alone all the time and yet I don't have a minute to do anything about it.

Sending love to all,

Tim

Keanna brightens up the scene

Dear Family and Friends,
Its hard to explain how a little 35 lb girl of almost 6 years can do so much lifting of spirits but she can. At 2 it was time to collect Keanna from school. She came racing out to meet me and never stopped until her mom picked her up at 5. We ventured over to the golden arches to get a happy meal and it sure was. We also deposited some money which was also a happy moment. Then home to visit Lois and Ray, they were sleeping, peel an apple, find saltine crackers, play a special educational video game. When we first arrived we opened the envelope from Kim which contained the Little Friend, a children's magazine from church. While she colored a picture for her mom she had me read every story. The theme was on patience and it was a great teaching moment. What fun! She let me work only to ask if I could build a fire. So while I started a little fire she commented that she did not know how to build a fire. I thought, well that is probably a good thing, 5 is a little young to learn how to build a fire. I told her her dad would teach her when she grew older. All afternoon the wind has been really buffeting the house and the lake has whitecaps. I had a chance to explain what white caps were to Keanna. I believe in teaching her everything like that I can, expanding her knowledge and vocabulary.
After Nikki came to visit, I swear that lady is a ghost, she just appears in the house, I never hear her open a door or move about! After she left Ray and Lois tempted me with a promise of pizza from a local place and it was great. I've been very good today working long hours without moving and getting quite a bit done in the process. Ray located a cushion for my chair and that has helped a lot, not so hard. He says I have worn out the padding in the chair, could be. I've had the chair for years and been riding it for a long time. Today I have played the classical station from San Francisco through my computer and with the Bose speakers the sound is perfect. Great music is so enriching. Right now its a rebroadcast of the San Francisco Symphony playing Ravel, wonderful, wonderful beautiful music, even nicer than the rap I hear coming from cars when I'm in the hood! I know revealing my age here.
I'm so thankful for mail service, I'm not thankful for the lack of checks over the past two weeks. If it were not for the COD payments I get along the way I would be on the street by now.
So in summary Keanna brought great joy and fun to the day. What a nice break to a tough week.
Hoping your day is going well.

love to all,

Tim

A lot is happening

Dear Family and Friends,
Would you believe I'm just in at 10 pm. Mid afternoon I decided I needed to get out and see some properties. So I drove to Concord and saw an interesting place, a sale, little house with 6 bedrooms. Oh my, that will be interesting to appraise. Then to a dear friend who has ordered appraisals for 20 years and learned that her husband is not doing so well, lots of health issues ganging up on him. We had a pretty straight talk about the reality of the situation. Then I left for Livermore. Interesting side story which really centers around having the world's greatest neighbors. They put up with so much from me. When I got back into the car after the second Concord inspection I reached for the Livermore file, it was not there, yep, it was safe back on my desk at the office. So I dialed up LeAnn who was kind enough to come over and wade through my desk, found the file, called with the address and phone number and so I just set the GPS which guided me to the house and the appraisal appointment was saved. Of course the fact that it was COD didn't bother me much either. When I finished I was cold and very hungry. So the GPS or bossy lady as keanna calls it led me to Applebees where tonight I was good and ordered salad instead of fries. The salad was so good and huge and the grilled cheese with tomato slices was good too. Walked out for less than 10 bucks. Then a quick stop in the cold for diesel, 525 miles on 12 gallons and now I'm home. Starr and Lady were so excited to see me come in, I know they are only dogs but its sure nice to be welcomed home again. Now its bed time and I head there knowing there are clean sheets and that I've done a pile of work today.
So my friend how are you? Are you glad to be back at work or glad to be retired or still working and wish you were retired?

Sending love to all,

Tim

Ready or not, here comes a new week!

Dear Family and Friends,
This has been a strange easter day here at the house. Ken and I walked this morning and being with the tax man motivated me I guess. I came home, made a quick breakfast and then waded into getting some tax affairs in order. Not that they are all perfect but they are a whole lot better than when I started. When I had sort of wrapped up the tax papers then I waded into reconciling the business check book. I've let the entries slide for the past two weeks so I was rudely jolted by the final outcomes, mainly I'd better find some quick money like NOW. Yikes I feel like my budget is much like holding gas in a rusty can or drinking from a cracked cup. There are no easy answers and probably the majority of americans are feeling some sort of pinch right now financially.
After the business account was balanced it was time to begin with appraisal work. No more are they quick appraisals to write up, now everything takes longer, much longer it seems but still when the work is completed there is a good feeling of accomplishment.
This evening Lois let me know she had baked banana bread using my dead bananas so I took a break and had a piece. Wow it was very good. And my loaf of bread I baked to day came out better than the last one. I'm still not sure what is different but the loaves are not coming out as full as before.
This was certainly different than the easters of the past when Nan would have a social plan for the weekend which included some fun, visiting, shopping, probably eating and going somewhere. I miss my social planner, she was really something and I sensed it while she was here and I know it now that she is gone. We all miss her, the whole family, this is not my loss, it is our loss and we are doing the best we can to cope. There are times I just feel like happiness is over and then I get to spend an afternoon with the kidos and see them in action, or a quick call from Jason or Nikki or a chance to sit and talk with Jo or Steve and the world comes back into better focus. For those of you who have a genuine mate sitting next to you, take care of that relationship to the best of your ability. You have a very precious gift in each other.
So lets go hit this upcoming week with our best and see if we can enhance some lives in the process. May God guide us to do significant things in His name and for His glory. Happy Easter!

love

tim

Multifaceted day - outstanding!

Dear Family and Friends,

What a special day! It started with Starr and Lady demanding a walk to the park. Then it was time for a quick breakfast. The next stop was back at the park where 5,000 eggs had been hidden and Keanna and Kallie intended to get their share. At 10 am the tape was opened and the girls began their fight with thousands of other children. Keanna had a huge easter egg bucket and was dressed so cute. Kallie was dressed warmly and was all smiles. They both posed nicely with the easter bunny. Steve appeared riding his nice bike and played with the girls. I decided it was time to drive to church but before I did I sliced up a loaf of bread knowing it was potluck today.

Church was packed and I finally managed to find a seat only open because Bob Miller was up running the sound system. Our new pastor Jessica preached today and I found her sermon to be on target, well prepared and nicely delivered. This lady knows what she is doing. I even stayed awake.

Potluck was enjoyable and Michael and Kevin Ahn were there and it was great to hear what they have been doing. What outstanding guys they have turned out to be. Sylvia was everywhere like usual but finally managed to find time to eat. She does a lot to make the worship hour turn out well.

As I was leaving Nikki called to say Steve had taken Keanna with him to Carnegie which is a state operated off road park to ride dirt bikes and atv. Keanna has her won little 50 cc gas bike with trainer wheels. So I headed out there and so did Nikki. We arrived at roughly the same time and spent a great afternoon in the sunny afternoon watching as Keanna learned a lot about riding her motorbike. She is doing very well and by this evening was going fast enough to stop a pappa heart. We had enjoyed our time there.

Now I'm home and I just surrendered my aging banana's to Ray in hopes of banana bread soon.

I've included a couple photos from this morning in the park. All in all its been a great day, full of love, family, friends, good food and worship.

love to all

Tim

Finally its Friday!

Dear Family and Friends,

At long last this week grinds to a close. I'm just back from dinner at Strings with the girls. Kallie is now holding her own bottle when it suits here and playing peek a boo with her blanket or the table napkin and then laughing big time. Keanna is continues with her art work creating more and more elaborate pictures. I've included one tonight for your enjoyment.

This morning there was no walking, just rolled out of bed and into a shower, quick oatmeal and then into the office chair where I've been cranking out work all day. Now that I've had to do a few of the new forms its beginning to be easier and take less time. I will say this, doing the various steps on the form does make one think more about the market conditions surround the appraisal.

The mail was once again a bust today, no funds. However those wanting money were busy requesting it. While I was making bread today i watched our local angler (per Lois) catch a really big one behind my house but then kindly threw it back. Starr and Lady go nuts when a person is fishing so near to our dock.

Its a nice time of year from the perspective that one does not have to have the furnace on at all. Its cool in the morning and warm by evening which should save some money on the PG&E bill which I had to pay this afternoon.

This week there have been several times when in frustration and even anger I finally just had to place things, people, situations in the Lords hands and every time He has helped work it through. How thankful I am that I'm not alone.

Well I hope you have a great weekend and enjoy some special easter time to reflect on the deeper meaning of this time. Our Lord gave everything so we could have the one things that matters in life, hope and salvation.

love

tim

note the curly green hair, that dude is me with Nikki in the middle and Keanna on the other side. Note I have two dogs!

In the rain

Dear Family and Friends,
Today I've enjoyed meeting a family who have 8 children. Not all live at home any longer but there was a whole lot of happy memories in that place. I got to measure the house in the rain but it wasn't bad, comps were nearby and I was back from Lodi before 1 pm. I settled in for the rest of the afternoon to get some work done and I'm relieved to say, I've finished a couple rather challenging ones. Gradually I'm starting to find ways to create this new form that we all love so much. Learning curves for people who are 60 take a bit longer than when you were young but they are possible.
While I worked inside I could hear various degrees of rain falling outside. The dogs have stayed close and kept me good company. George, the yellow cat, has found the bird nest beside the garden window in the kitchen and lays there by the hour watching the nest while the birds are just on the other side of the window. Its amazing to watch.
This evening Nikki let me know that they were going to tumbling so I took a break, you just don't get to see kids all the time, got to enjoy them. Then we had a quick bite but this time my bean and cheese burrito had rice, lettuce, tomatoes and was a lot more tasty and healthy.
Wishing you all a good night,

love

tim
ps Art and Connie are out on the road in their camper tonight and in spite of the rain are having a great time so far. Oh to be retired! Sounds fun.

cranking out the work

Dear Family and Friends,

9:10 and I'm winding down after a day of staying put in the chair writing reports. This job has its good moments but a ton of stress. When lenders are stressed they just pass it down the line. After carefully completing a report yesterday on a home in Alamo I sent the report to the broker who in turn sent it to the lender. The lender sent conditions back, my comps were no good, they wanted comps that were within a mile and in the past 90 days. Well guess what so did I but I did the best I could. So I sat down and ran the computer searching the area. 1 mile, last 90 days, not one sale. So they were asking for the impossible. Who knows how it will come out. Bad thing is, the home is beautiful, well worth what I appraised it for but since the comps did not fit the description in some rule book someplace it had to be challenged or even refused.

All day I've dealt with issues that seem pretty well impossible to manage and they tend to stack up and up.

Lois left for San Jose where she and Ray will attend a Jewish dinner for passover. I encouraged her to attend even though she did not feel all that well. I know she will enjoy herself a lot.

Late this afternoon I had an appointment to see a ranch where the much beloved husband died in January and for estate purposes they need an appraisal. I enjoyed meeting the widow, seeing the place, meeting the dogs and being outside in the air for a change. Then I raced to a second appointment in oakley totally unprepared for what I was to find there. Just the most perfect little ranchette property I've seen in a very long time. From the circular driveway with its two powered security gates to the huge pool and spa, the huge rear yard or the covered patio, the marble entry, the custom kitchen. This was some place. Its so fun to see a place that is so together and so appealing and even in this bad market places like this would sell if marketed. This one was for a refi purpose.

After I left the Oakley area I drove a short distance over to Antioch where I inspected a little tract house. The prior owners loved tile, a very specific kind of tile for it was over the entire floor surfaces of all the rooms, bathrooms, kitchen, bedrooms, this same ugly tile. Oh well taste is up to the owner, we still have some rights, the right to make horrid decorating choices. I've made some winners in my time.

Finally with the sun setting I shot my last comp, my camera was demanding batteries and I drove home. Now I'm going to bed, I need rest, lots of it and money but of course the mailman does not deliver money here anymore. I think there is a filter somewhere that removes all checks from my box. Oh well.

I've included a couple photos that Jo took when we were at their home a weekend ago.

love to all,

tim

Joy comes to visit

Dear Family and Friends,I

I'm sending out the blog early this evening while I'm still basking in the afterglow of special visitors this afternoon.

At 2 pm I picked up her highness, Miss Keanna at school and we drove the few blocks to the house where Sylvia was pulling weeds in the mist. For the next several hours just hearing the joyful sounds as they played games, repaired the bunny who had a seam that was giving, made snacks and took turns looking at the birds nest that is nestled adjacent to the kitchen garden window. Keanna was able to see tiny eggs and was thrilled.

Now in the quietness of the house after they have gone I still hear echos of joy, of life, of caring. I can still Keanna announcing that I was now bald as Sylvia took off a few remaining strands of hair at the end of the much appreciated haircut. Quick to reassure me that I was not really bald Sylvia and I both laughed at Keanna's words.

What can make such a drastic change in the days mood? It takes people, caring people and the magic sure worked this afternoon. While I sat and jammed out a much needed and overdue appraisal Sylvia kept Keanna busy as they fed the dogs, the fish, blew bubbles and did some chores too. Keanna came in full of energy and left still full of energy but with a tiny basket of treats straight from Japan which she dearly loved.

Thank you Sylvia and Keanna for making my day! You both are very special people.

Now I'm off to town to get meds, dog food, fish food, bird food and perhaps some people food for the pantry as well.

So have a pleasant evening. To add to your pleasure I've included photographs of growing color in my yard in spite of my neglect and abuse. The iris is growing from an area where Nan long ago planted bulbs hoping for yearly visits of color and of course that flower standing so regal certainly takes me back to a happier time where she could do things like garden and plant bulbs.

Sending love to all and special praise to my brave friend Lois who is winning the battle over smoking. What a battle it has been as she has struggled with a very real challenge all week. Ray and I are both very proud of her, go girl!

Tim

Another day

Good evening,
I'm just back from a quick dinner at the new Olive Garden in Stockton. This afternoon two orders came in and both were marked COD. Well that tends to get my attention so I called and made appointments, one was for Thursday but one said come tonight. So I left for manteca but just before I left the owner called back to say he had decided to not pay me and that it would come from escrow. Well that is nice but it will be at least a month from now instead of now. It was disappointing to say the least. The home was perfect and of course there were no comps in the entire project, a 55 and over Pulte development called Woodbridge. Once I was through I was really feeling hungry and just worn out. I've either sneezed or coughed constantly all day and along with the frustration of trying to master the new appraisal form which took hours to begin to understand I was ready for a break.
The Olive Garden in Stockton is brand new, very nice and was packed with hungry people. They let me eat at the bar so the service was perfect, the soup and salad quickly appeared and the water even tasted good. Now I'm home and sort of feel like a truck ran over me. Little things helped make the day special, my faithful HP1000 decided to have a laser misread and failed. So I switched it with the one on Nan's desk. At 554 miles I decided to buy diesel but the promised $2.26 on the sign was really $2.32 at the desk inside. The dog food ran out and there was no money in the mail. There was a special overnight envelope sticking out under the front mat and it contained a check for one FHA appraisal, $450. Mind you I completed the appraisal over two months ago and it took a trip to Roseville to do the work but being paid today felt very good. At the mailbox I discovered a nest of wasps which I dispatched with a can of raid I found in the garage.
It is nice to have the weather warm enough that the furnace can remain quiet and cost free. Anything to save a buck helps.
Good night my friend and family,

love

tim

Learning curves, a pain

Dear Family and Friends,
Well here I am again ready to share the wonders of being alive today.
Breakfast was right after a good walk with Ken, good range grown brown eggs and toast, apple sause. I worked in for as long as I could and then headed out to Redwood City. I found a very nice place with some updating, good care and lovely people. Then it was off to San Francisco to shoot photos of comps for the appraisal I started the other day and became ill. It was a beautiful day, warm even and I had a good book playing so the day went quickly. Upon arriving back at Discovery Bay I went ahead and inspected a large home located in the Country Club which was devoid of all light fixtures and kitchen appliances. How sad that people think they need to take such items which clearly should remain with the home. Then it was home to be greeted by two dogs, two cats, a new nest of little birds in the kitchen garden window. Since it was time to eat I pulled out some brown rice, mixed in a big of mushroom soup and hit the microwave button for 1 minute. Using romain lettuce hearts, a fresh tomato, sliced olives and bits of cheese I made a great salad. Then I sat at the freshly cleaned table and enjoyed the tastes of the food.
After eating it was time to get down to serious work. Tonight was the first time I've tried to fill out the new form which the wizards at FNMA have forced on all appraisals. To fill out the blanks you have to be able to get the data for certain time periods, 7 to 12 months ago, 3 to 6 months and then 3 months to present. For sold homes, for listings and how much did the sale price differ from the list price and how long did they take to sell. I was working on the appraisal for Redwood City and try as I might I could not get it to give me the data for the time periods mandated by the form so I'm going to bed with 1/4 of a page of the report filled out and no idea of how to fill out the required information. Tomorrow I'll call the board and see if the system can even spit out the info I need. This is going to be a long month as we all learn how to get the data, fill out the form and still get our work done. God will need to help us through this process, its not easy.
So for now I'll sign off and get rest. Good night to all.

love

tim

Down day

Dear Family and Friends,
While this day started pretty well with a good walk around the lake with friend Ken I've had a fairly lazy day. I enjoyed worship service at Lodi Fairmont but sadness filled the place as just this week a huge funeral service was held for an entire family that was lost in the plane crash which claimed the three Adventist families. I'm told that over 1,600 people attended the 4 hour service. I must admit I have no way of handling or understanding such losses right now in the context of God's role in our affairs. And on the way to Tracy Church this morning where I was briefly before deciding to attend Lodi, all along the way every 100 feet or so there was a search and rescue person many with dogs, equipped with radios searching the canals and ditches all along Tracy Blvd. The little 8 year old girl has still not been found and the entire town is mobilized in the search.
After the worship hour and an interesting sermon which almost kept me awake full time I met up with Bob, Carrol and Pam at a little place with excellent salads in Woodbridge. Then after a kind and cold can of Dr. Pepper to get me home I arrived and napped for the afternoon. This evening I woke and made a little grilled cheese with tomato slices, a small bowl of tomato soup, took my pills and now I'm ready to rest.
With the increasingly severe financial crisis I'm in present and the concern about future orders once this new management company requirement takes place I feel some constant strain and a general feeling of unease.
In reflection about the blog I often wonder about being so open about what I am experiencing. I know that many of you have voiced your input that you would not be so open about sharing as I am. I can certainly understand that. Be assured I don't put everything in the blog. However I do try to be as transparent as possible since I remember that others will follow this same path not by choice but by fate, by loss of a loved one and how can I be helpful if I only give a sugar coated version of what its like to rediscover living without your loved one. So if my candor makes you uncomfortable at times I think it might serve a purpose, I certainly hope so as this is one of the pillars of my day, to blog. I hope you find gems along with dust as you read. As always I need God's help in so many ways, His guidance, His power, His resources, His forgiveness and His tender hearted love. He keeps me going and He does it best through the precious members of my family, the kidos, the kids, the kinfolk, all precious to my heart.

love

tim

A week closer

Dear Family and Friends,
This evening brings to a close a challenging week for the family here in Discovery Bay. We have all battled the flu bug, first Kallie, then Nikki followed by Keanna. About the same time I discovered a new drastic way to dump 10 lbs in two days through extreme cleansing! By this afternoon I felt secure enough to venture out and see 3 properties in Hercules. The orders said that they were three vacant properties so I thought, these are safe, no one to give the flu to. Imagine my surprise when at the first door I heard a huge dog barking and then saw a very large pitbull lunging at the gate. My heart sank, were my well laid out plans to be wasted? The person losing the house was still there, living in a back room and trying to figure out what next for his life, in the last year he has been divorced, lost his mom and now his job as a dean at a university was gone. We spent some good time sharing and I was able to proceed and do my work. Eventually I had seen all three homes and while I still had energy I headed home.
Upon arriving home I found the following email from my dear friend Irene, a fellow GISTer. I wanted to share it here so I could ask that you join Irene in seeking God's healing. How wonderful it would be to have Irene's tumors shrink!


April 3, 2009
Dear Family and Friends,
After being on Prednisone for three weeks my alkaline phosphatase (blood test) number has not been reduced to an acceptable level that would qualify me for the IPI-504 clinical trial at OHSU. One reason why this number has been elevated is because of the chemo-embolization that I had in late January combined with the GIST tumors that are irritating the biliary system in my liver. So Dr.Heinrich has discontinued Prednisone. I will be taking Dasatinib (a cancer oral pill taken daily) instead of waiting for the clinical trial qualification. Dasatinib is approved for another cancer but will be available to me through "off label."
Back in February, my CT scan showed 3 tumors in my liver and 4 nodes in my lungs. Now there are 6 each in my liver and in my lungs. The tumor in my lower spine has increased in size. Dr. Heinrich hopes that Dasatinib will control the growth but the odds of it working are very low. I see that having been on no drugs is worst than the Dasatinib odds. This will be the fifth cancer drug I will be taking and unfortunately as we go down the line, it seems each successive one has lower odds than the previous. However, I will continue doing weekly blood tests to check on the alkaline phosphatase number. When it comes down to the acceptable range, then I can reapply for the clinical trial which has more potential than Dasatinib.
Each week my hopes were high and I wanted to be on the clinical trial so desperately. I couldn't understand why God was allowing this to happen, especially when I was given signs initially to proceed with applying for the clinical trial. A couple of weeks ago, I had a long talk with my good friend, Pinnie who ministers to members of my church. I just love talking to her because she helps me make sense of what God might be doing in my life. I had been so focused on on getting onto the trial that I really hadn't thought it would be possible for God to heal me completely - asking for no tumors and no more cancer. I guess I had not truly believed that God wants me healed. She gave me a book that was written by Dodie Osteen (mother of Joel Osteen) titled, Healed of Cancer. Dodie was diagnosed with liver cancer in 1981 and was told she had just weeks to live. Within a month, her faith in God and lots of prayers involving many others she asked God for complete healing which did happened. She is not advising everyone to do as she did but only if they are strongly compelled to do so. The latter part of the book has 40 scriptures about healing that she reads daily. I'm still going to pursue the clinical trial but I'm also going to pray more fervently about healing. She helped me to see that God can fix things but sometimes he choses a different way and perhaps a better way than we expect.
I haven't qualify for the clinical trial and don't know if I will but I know it is not hopeless for something else to happen. As some of you have replied to me, "As one door closes, another one opens." Thank you for reminding me of those encouraging words.
The past few days I have been reading a book called Knowing God's Will by Evelyn Bence. In it are many quotes and Bible verses but the one that spoke to me is one from Colossians 1:9-12 (NIV). "For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may be strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light." This passage was written to encourage the Colossians by the apostle Paul while he was imprisoned in Rome. I fine this utterly amazing and awe inspiring.
Again I want to thank you all for your caring thoughts and heartfelt prayers and I still so desperately need to sustain me. Please pray for healing and eradicating all the cancer. At the same time, I will keep Colossians 1:9-12 with my prayers for you.
With a grateful heart,
Irene

Will you join with me in keeping Irene in your prayers. Irene was a dear friend to Nan, made many trips to be with her for Dr visits, hospital room visits, visits in our home and in my way of thinking is one of God's special angels for this time. She has touched our lives in so many ways and gave Nan such prayerful support. Nan loved her deeply. Now she needs us. Will you pray?

love to all

Tim

Rough day

Dear Family and Friends,
In a few minutes I'm going to bed. I know I'm better today than last night but I sure feel rough. After my bout with dumping my cookies in SF I started to cough and that has continued to the point where my lungs and chest are very sore now so that just sort of adds to the fun. Since yesterday morning I've dumped 5 to 6 lbs. Today at the urging of family and friends I've had some apple juice, toast, apple sauce. I've run a fever all day and tonight my eyes burn along with other crucial points in my body. The bottom line is I'm better and I'm thankful for that.

This afternoon I was sleeping under a little heated blanket that Nan loved so much in the recliner. Suddenly Starr started gentle barking at my side. She would not stop until I finally got up, I think she knew something was not right for me to be in the chair for so long. It was cute.

I was able to cover the house payment by depositing the checks that had come in and raiding the personal bank account, taking the case out of my wallet and now I have $14 in the business account. That is a whole lot better than the $20 I had toward the whole payment a few days ago. The Lord's ways are strange to say the least but He is there.

Well I'm going to sign off now and go to bed. I hurt everyplace that can hurt but I'm better. I think the girls are better too even though Kallie lost some of her dinner last evening. What a nasty bug this has turned out to be.

Sending love to all,

tim