Kidos are sleeping!

Dear Family and Friends,
Well here is is Friday evening, the house is quiet except for Kallie who is coughing tonight as she sleeps and I hear it over the monitor. Keanna read me a story tonight, that was really thrilling, how far we have come. She ate a huge plate of pasta, drank apple juice and played her video game, helped with Kallie and was her normal delightful self. Kallie has really turned full circle. Remember all that smiling and happy act! Well we have grown a bit. This evening I walked behind her as she crawled the length of the house several times, made it almost to the top of the stairs going to the upper level of the house and then came back down with help, would not sit in my arms in the rocker but wiggled and squirmed until she was back on the floor. She takes a couple steps here and there but walks well if holding onto anything. She drinks milk when she feels like it and throws it on the floor too, she is strong, will mimic anything you say or do, clap your hands, say boo, she is right back at you. She still smiles but only when she slows down enough between motions.
She blessed me with a pretty hefty diaper and between changing her, putting her into night clothes and attempting to keep her on the bed I was kicked, all four arms and legs were going in their own orbit and she alternated between laughing and crying as I took some time doing what her mother or father would do in seconds. Half a package of wipes later and with sweat running down my forehead she was clean, dressed and happy. Wow do I admire parents.
Now she and her sister are sleeping and tonight of course every one of the three night lights I plug into the wall have blown bulbs. I could not believe it. Keanna looked up at me and said with a serious face, perhaps you need to add them to your list Pappa, a list that already has red jello, rice milk and now bulbs for the night lights.
Today has been as different from yesterday as day and yes night! Yesterday I could not stay awake, I was down and felt like just giving up. In comparison today I rose early, showered and came right to my desk and by noon had written two appraisals including discovering a way to create that dreaded new form 1004MC using data from the San Francisco board of MLS. I honestly believe it was a business miracle, I clicked on a different button and there was all the data I needed laid out before me, I had never seen that page before. And by the time I was ready to walk out to my car Jean had sent me a finished report she had done her part on and I did my part and then shipped it out as well, that is three off the list, the three people were most anxious about. Am I caught up? No way but am I in a better place? Oh yes by far. What a difference this day has made. And how thankful I am for good friends who simply will not just quit and go away, instead they stay engaged in my life and demonstrate caring by intervention.
There have been few times in my adult life when I had less grasp on what the near future will bring. Will I be able to get enough work to let me pay my bills? Will I be able to make the transition from relationship business to management company business with impersonal deadlines, reduced fees and constant demands? How will I be able to replace the steady stream of COD payments I've enjoyed for the last few months now that buyers and homeowners can no longer pay me directly?
As a good friend pointed out recently I am still here, still in my house after all these months of high uncertainty and of barely meeting due dates for bills. Oh I can think of a few right now, looming PG&E, payroll, medical bills, insurance, data. Oh a few thousand would be so nice and I keep hearing rumors that my big client is about to close a bunch of loans. After months of waiting it is time for sure.
But above all of this tonight I have my little kidos here under my roof, doing for them what their grammy loved to do and what she sure would be doing if she were still here. Its the least I can do and it has so much joy along with anxiety. This is living, not pushing paper, rushing from house to house but time with family and friends, doing important things.
It is quiet still, Kallie whimpers and coughs and then goes back to sleep. I have the AC on low in her room keeping it uniform in temperature, same with Keanna.
Thanks for reading along friend and family, thanks for your good thoughts and best wishes. I have them for you as well. Have a meaningful weekend and enjoy celebrating God's greatest gift to the family, mothers.

love

tim