Down day

Dear Family and Friends,
While this day started pretty well with a good walk around the lake with friend Ken I've had a fairly lazy day. I enjoyed worship service at Lodi Fairmont but sadness filled the place as just this week a huge funeral service was held for an entire family that was lost in the plane crash which claimed the three Adventist families. I'm told that over 1,600 people attended the 4 hour service. I must admit I have no way of handling or understanding such losses right now in the context of God's role in our affairs. And on the way to Tracy Church this morning where I was briefly before deciding to attend Lodi, all along the way every 100 feet or so there was a search and rescue person many with dogs, equipped with radios searching the canals and ditches all along Tracy Blvd. The little 8 year old girl has still not been found and the entire town is mobilized in the search.
After the worship hour and an interesting sermon which almost kept me awake full time I met up with Bob, Carrol and Pam at a little place with excellent salads in Woodbridge. Then after a kind and cold can of Dr. Pepper to get me home I arrived and napped for the afternoon. This evening I woke and made a little grilled cheese with tomato slices, a small bowl of tomato soup, took my pills and now I'm ready to rest.
With the increasingly severe financial crisis I'm in present and the concern about future orders once this new management company requirement takes place I feel some constant strain and a general feeling of unease.
In reflection about the blog I often wonder about being so open about what I am experiencing. I know that many of you have voiced your input that you would not be so open about sharing as I am. I can certainly understand that. Be assured I don't put everything in the blog. However I do try to be as transparent as possible since I remember that others will follow this same path not by choice but by fate, by loss of a loved one and how can I be helpful if I only give a sugar coated version of what its like to rediscover living without your loved one. So if my candor makes you uncomfortable at times I think it might serve a purpose, I certainly hope so as this is one of the pillars of my day, to blog. I hope you find gems along with dust as you read. As always I need God's help in so many ways, His guidance, His power, His resources, His forgiveness and His tender hearted love. He keeps me going and He does it best through the precious members of my family, the kidos, the kids, the kinfolk, all precious to my heart.

love

tim