Dear Friends and Family,
You know I've had better days and of course much worse ones too. I'm on this course right now that really takes a lot of discipline to stick with things. Tonight at group one man spoke up, he knew everything about the current appraisal crisis and explained it better than I could. I think the word is getting around in our country, just how badly it is hurting transactions everywhere. A contact is raising the possibility of some drivebys next week. That would be great. Pray that it will happen.
This morning with Ken locked into an early morning meeting and unable to walk I had a decision, sleep in or walk, well I'm listening to this great book, Younger Next Year and one of the three bedrock assumptions is exercise for at least an hour 6 days a week for the rest of your life. How could I miss the walk? So I climbed out on time, walked my three miles alone, no problem, says lots of cute ladies out walking (helps) and then came home to shower and begin work.
At 12:45 I picked up Keanna and we hit the McDonalds and then drove back home where she watched a Dora movie Lois had copied for her. During the afternoon she asked for and received a bag of popcorn, 2 jello cups, a bottle of water and crackers. She was delight and took turns either yelling at Starr or loving her as the dog tried her hardest to get to the food that was so nearby. It is so much fun and life affirming to interact with this bright and witty 6 year old, to see her in action playing with her dogs, creating envelopes with paper and staples, writing out words and constantly creating joy and surprising me with her insights.
After Nikki left with her precious cargo and I waved to them as they drove away I came back in and finalized my earlier decision to attend the grief group tonight. I am so glad I did. Unlike some sessions which I found ineffective tonight's sharing was filled with insights and gems, ideas that will live long in my thinking. It was all guys tonight and the things we discuss really only work if you have recently lost a spouse. There is so much common ground between us and as one of us speaks, sharing our hearts concerns others learn, are effected and gain insights. This group is made up of men who decided to stay and care rather than leave when our spouses needed us the most so we share that common bond. All of us had strong spouses who were heavily involved in the day by day living in our marriages and we are all floundering a bit as we adjust to the breakup in our teams, we have all lost the best part of the team. Some of the group have been able to get away and rebuild while others of us have needed to stay put and learn first hand how to cope with everything.
For me right now I'm missing the stability and strength that Nan brought to our marriage. She was not blown away by misfortune nor did she rise to the rafters with euphoria over good news. Her feet were planted firmly on the ground and she was practical. I'm not sure how she would have dealt with the loss of income and the shortage of work I now face but I know she would have helped us get through in some manner. She was always there making good things happen. Well now its up to me to decide what to do next on my own using the insights I learned from the 36 years with her to guide me now day by day. Not an easy thing to master. So once again I miss her.
So my friends and family, take a moment to reach out, touch the one God has placed beside you and treasure the moment of having them there. Do it, don't plan to do it or think about doing it, do it, make the effort so later your regrets will be few, your memories more rich.
love to all,
Tim
ps This evening I received an email from Karen re: Johns surgery and subsequent recovery. Basically he did very well with the ultra modern surgery, he is recovering at home and they must wait a few days to discover the type and severity of the cancer he has, then they will be able to move forward with a treatment regimen and a full recovery! Right!
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