Adjusting to life without Nan

Dear Family and Friends,
I thought it might be nice to take some time to reflect what it is like to life without my precious Nan. Had Nan been a person who nagged and complained it might be different, almost a relief but since she was a kind and loving person with fierce loyalty to me and to her family, a sparkplug for fun, good eating, pleasant conversation, gentle companionship and a great loving wife adjusting to a world without her is much much harder. Nan gave me an excellent life with gentle guidance, a firm set of convictions and beliefs, a person I could always count on. Her biggest concern was how would I get by without her. She was often troubled when thinking about how I would do should she go and she was totally right. It has been a very difficult path to stumble along since I lost my light, my inspiration, my compass. I've not enjoyed these past two years very much with the only really intense bright spots being time spent with the kidos, my children and close friends.
So I find myself still adjusting to life without Nan. I deeply resent facing every day alone with her gone. I don't understand the reasons for her absence and fail to appreciate the challenges of living life alone. Yet I am here and she is resting in Jesus, those are the hardest and coldest facts I've ever faced and so I attempt to live with an eye to helping others, this morning it was Ken and I finding a stray golden who was obviously lost. We held her and read her tags, called the house but finding no answer we walked the few blocks to her house where we found the front door of this million dollar house standing wide open. After calling out we finally went in, left a note, secured the front door and left her with fresh water. It felt good to do something good for a change.
This evening Marilyn has returned from spending time with her sisters so the house is no longer so quiet. In the early morning I'll rise and pick up Steve and Keanna for a short drive to the Oakland airport where they will board a flight to the south. Then I'll drop by a mortgage office on the way home to pick up a check and drive back to deposit it. Then I'll drive to Tracy where Jim Miller has agreed to see me and try to solve this worsening neck and head ache I've had for the past few weeks. He is a very qualified therapist with vast experience in treating sport injuries and I only hope he can solve the riddle of what I did to myself when I walked right into the descending ceiling of a home I was inspecting. The pain is intense enough that working is somewhat difficult. Just what I needed, a new challenge yet it could have been so much worse.

I've been approached by someone who has been calling urging me to sell my Marriott timeshare in the Desert Springs timeshare development. yes I would love to sell it but his gimmick is to have me give him $2050 to do the paperwork for a buyer he claims is willing to pay $17,500. Nikki had me check into Redweek. com, an interesting site which shows actual units on the market by owners wishing to sell. There are two from the same undesirable season, that is July and August, that are listed for $3,000 and $3,500. Funny how this pitchman can find buyers willing to pay $17,500. You know I don't think so and I won't be parting with $2,050 I don't have just to make his day. Like he says he'll just have to find another owner who wants to sell. There are so many ways right now for people to try to get at your money, yikes, what a strange world it is.

Well my awake time is fast running out. I'm sleepy and I know getting up at 5:30 will not be enjoyable so at this point I'll cut the narrative short. I send love to all family and dear friends who continue to labor through this blog each morning. May you find inspiration or wisdom from time to time in spite of the writer.

I love you all,

tim