Upcoming milestone

Dear Family and Friends,
I'm huddled in my little office with beautiful music playing from the public station in Sacramento. KXPR can be found through the web at capradio.org and it is a real find. Joyce turned me onto this source of outstanding music. It is a station with very little conversation and high quality music. I listen to mine through some Bose speakers which attach to the computer, I purchased them years ago at an outlet store in Gilroy and they continue to perform perfectly year after year. Although the heat is on the air is chilly in my office. The dogs are sleeping nearby always ready to accompany me to the kitchen in hopes of treats, at least they are transparent, I know where they stand, they always want treats and can never have too many. Oh that life was that simple.
Today I traveled to Vallejo where I inspected a little house which had been given the treatment, paint, new kitchen, new bathrooms, new tile on the floor. On this one they stopped before putting down the new carpet so we have bare floors. That will have to be solved before the loan closes. I was able to access the attic where I found loads of insulation waiting. That new ladder sure comes in handy, extends 12.5 feet yet fits in the trunk of my bug, simply amazing, another of those very special gifts that just keep on giving!
Looks like the SF inspection was for naught. Bank of American guidelines state they only will loan on a property that is mostly surrounded by other single family homes and where that is the driving use. The subject sits on a street where every property has a storefront selling food, insurance, real estate, services of some kind. This is not a street that is dominated by single family homes. So my trip will probably be a freebie. It happens a lot.
While I continue to battle the edges of a cold in general I'm feeling more loose. The workouts are starting to make a difference in my balance, in my ability to move with more strength and doing the ordinary things of life and work seems to be slightly easier. I'm extremely pleased with what the club offers and so far very glad I made the move.
In the morning I'm off to Hayward to see a property for a bankruptcy and then come back to pick up Ms Keanna. We will start our Christmas Tree search if all works out right. She seems willing to help and I think that should take some of the sting out of searching without Nan. This is the season that Nan lived for, she shopped all year to find just the right thing in the right color and size for everyone, she loved looking for the right tree. In our years we've had some pretty splendid trees. The most unusual was one from Christmas Tree Land at Cal Expo. We took two weeks off every year and worked there to make Christmas money. We were in ministry and the budget did not have room for Nan's love of Christmas. By working long hours at this huge tree outlet we made $1,500 or so which for those days was a huge amount. Of course since we worked there we had the pick of thousands of trees. Nan found a perfect Noble Fir and then began to carefully wire strings of lights to every branch and bough. They she had the flock crew do a special flock job over the lights. The result was nothing short of magic with the many different colors of lights twinkling through the snow. I think we kept that tree up until Valentines day and it was perfect when we took it down finally. It is a wonderful memory from a time when the kidos were little, life was simple and we were all healthy and young!
I've not mentioned it but I spent some time at Nan's graveside the other day after Jason and Jo had left for home. I have determined that one way or the other I'll have a grave marker at her grave by her birthday which is toward the last of January. Many of you know her birthdate since you came year after year to celebrate her birthday during the final years. How she enjoyed seeing everyone and reconnecting to family and friend alike.
On December 4 Nan will have been sleeping for two full years. The final days of her life are etched into my memory and will probably be forever. No one could have lived their final days, months, years better than she did. She did it day by day with grace, kindness and determination. She was a delight to live with and her biggest concern was how I would do without her. She knew me better than any one else, she knew my few strengths and my many weaknesses. She had helped me so much with living over the years and she knew how fragile my emotions were, are. In many ways she was right, it has been an almost impossible adjustment, to living life alone yet I've done it and I know she would be very proud and pleased.
I know some people in relationships dream of getting out, of being alone, of being able to be selfish and just do their own thing without any strings attached. Yet I wonder if they really know what they are dreaming of, the waking every morning with an empty pillow beside you, the Friday nights when the trials and pressures of the week have wound down and finally you just get to sit in peace with the one you love, you don't have to say a lot or do a lot, just sit and relax with that someone who is special beyond all others in the world. I'm sure there are lots of great things to say about being alone, I personally view it as this dark time I am passing through. I find no merit in going it alone, it is just what I have right now.
I'm trusting that God is near even in this dismal wilderness of self. Yet I'm open to possibilities, not hell bent on making them happen, just open.
If any of you would like to join me in the process of placing a marker by Nan's resting place I am open to ideas for wording to be placed on the stone, type of stone, shape of stone, funds to help, even places that might do this work for a good deal. You know Nan liked to shop and if QVC had a marker on the payment plan she would already have it!!
And so another day rolls by with little fanfare, just work and sleep, walk and exercise and enjoy kidos and family / friends. God bless you all.

Tim