Serious times at the cardiologist's office

Dear Family and Friends,
Today started off well with a nice walk around the lake this morning at 6:30 with Ken, it was cool and while we walked the night turned to day. Then back for a shower and breakfast. Then I worked a bit at my desk and decided to take Bob and Carrol up on their invitation to have lunch at Fosters in Rio Vista. Sure enough they had corn beef and cabbage for .99. I passed on both but enjoyed the deep fried asparagus and some salad. It was great to see them and to meet a friend they brought with them who lost her husband about the same time Nan died.
I left Rio Vista and headed for Dr. Savage's office in Brentwood. He was the last of the bunch that Jim had me visit in our attempt to get me healthier back in January. This doctor's office has been putting me off again and again due to scheduling conflicts since the first of January. Well today was the day. I arrived early and was finally brought in an hour late. It was amazing that when they took my blood pressure it was not high but instead it was 112 over 60. Heart rate was 62. I had a electocartiogram, the nice nurse decided to shave a bit of the hair off my chest where the probes were to be located. In the process she cut me so I bled and bled with a new shirt, errr. Finally I met the doctor and he was not impressed that I was walking or eating better. He had the blood work results sent over from January and was amazed to find my cholesterol was just 107 but the good cholesterol was dangerously low back then and the bad was also very low while the trigliserides were through the roof. He decided to drop one of the cholesterol meds, Zetia and started me on one of his own, Coreg CR. In the course of the conversation he listed to my heart and discovered a heart murmur deep inside one of the valves and in summary said my chance of having a heart attack was about 80%. So on the 8th of April I have an echocardiogram and then the next day I have something with a nuclear component followed 3 hours later by a treadmill stress test and further tests looking at my heart. Then I have a follow up visit two weeks later for his observations. He also wants me to see a diabetes expert in Antioch, have more extensive blood work done at the lab, wants me to back off walking so fast and basically just took what joy I had left away. He did say the electrocardiogram showed no heart attack and he kept asking me for when my chest hurt. I tried to explain that I'm pretty sure that was caused by depression but he gave that no credence at all nor diet changes nor exercise changes. I feebly tried to mention I was concerned about the costs and he was nice enough to give me one months supply of the new drug he wants included every day.
So needless to say I'm a big blown away by all this. I kept thinking, he really should have seen me when I came back from Hawaii, before the walking, the better diet.
So I'm trying to sort things out in my mind. Nikki was very supportive when we talked and that helped a lot. Jason also called but I never was able to catch up with him when I called back. Art sort of talked me through things and that helped too.
So I went to the Safeway and bought even more carefully this time, tried to pay at the register and of course the bank refused to clear so I had to use my trusty $100 that Sharon gave me for Hawaii, well actually she gave me $500 and the $100 was still left. As soon as I can I'll replace that as I never know when I'll be in jam and with no credit cards working one needs an escape. It worked minutes before at the post office when I shipped a Nan book to Dana so she could share it with Nan's mother this weekend in Texas.
Well I'm home and I don't know what to eat or not eat. I bought some grapes and I've been eating of few of them, figured they probably are not bad for me.
What the doctor said was very frightening, didn't mention weight, didn't mention diet but I know he had to leave since his son was pitching a baseball game somewhere.
Well thats about all I have tonight. I guess mac and cheese is out of the question!
Take care and I'd appreciate your prayers.

love

tim