Steve and Keanna take a trip

This was an early morning as I was at Steve's this morning about 6:25. We left shortly after for the airport where Steve and Keanna boarded a Southwest flight for Houston and then on to their final destination. Keanna was so excited about going with her daddy to meet relatives. Steve has not had a chance to see his dad for 20 years. I wish them well.

Meanwhile I'll be at Nikki's tomorrow morning at 6:30 to wait for Kallie to wake. Then I'll feed her breakfast and take her to the sitters for the day. Then I'll travel to one of the destinations I have appraisals in, Sonora, Cotati or Walnut Creek. Depends on who calls back with a confirmation.

Today as been good. At noon today I had an appointment with Jim Miller who is a specialist in the area of sport medicine. He worked hard on my neck and shoulders and in the process discovered an area of intense pain and tight muscles. They really worked on the area a lot and he gave me some exercises to do to bring more flexibility to the area. Already the headache is less and the neck can now be turned from side to side. I'll see him again at 2 on Friday for another go around on the painful areas. It was a great visit and I appreciate his efforts.

This afternoon I came home to write and email out an appraisal that was needed. Then the three of us, Marilyn, Lois and me drove to Tracy for the meeting and caught some dinner at Sonic. Our meeting dealt with rules of loving confrontation. Oh that is a tough one for me. I do not enjoy confrontation at all but I can see the point of the evenings meeting. Sylvia does a great job of leading out.

Now I'm sleepy and ready to head to bed. We are having wonderful cool weather.

Early in the morning on Friday Jason and Jo leave for Italy for a few days. I'm so happy for them and I know they will have a tremendous time.

love

tim

Adjusting to life without Nan

Dear Family and Friends,
I thought it might be nice to take some time to reflect what it is like to life without my precious Nan. Had Nan been a person who nagged and complained it might be different, almost a relief but since she was a kind and loving person with fierce loyalty to me and to her family, a sparkplug for fun, good eating, pleasant conversation, gentle companionship and a great loving wife adjusting to a world without her is much much harder. Nan gave me an excellent life with gentle guidance, a firm set of convictions and beliefs, a person I could always count on. Her biggest concern was how would I get by without her. She was often troubled when thinking about how I would do should she go and she was totally right. It has been a very difficult path to stumble along since I lost my light, my inspiration, my compass. I've not enjoyed these past two years very much with the only really intense bright spots being time spent with the kidos, my children and close friends.
So I find myself still adjusting to life without Nan. I deeply resent facing every day alone with her gone. I don't understand the reasons for her absence and fail to appreciate the challenges of living life alone. Yet I am here and she is resting in Jesus, those are the hardest and coldest facts I've ever faced and so I attempt to live with an eye to helping others, this morning it was Ken and I finding a stray golden who was obviously lost. We held her and read her tags, called the house but finding no answer we walked the few blocks to her house where we found the front door of this million dollar house standing wide open. After calling out we finally went in, left a note, secured the front door and left her with fresh water. It felt good to do something good for a change.
This evening Marilyn has returned from spending time with her sisters so the house is no longer so quiet. In the early morning I'll rise and pick up Steve and Keanna for a short drive to the Oakland airport where they will board a flight to the south. Then I'll drop by a mortgage office on the way home to pick up a check and drive back to deposit it. Then I'll drive to Tracy where Jim Miller has agreed to see me and try to solve this worsening neck and head ache I've had for the past few weeks. He is a very qualified therapist with vast experience in treating sport injuries and I only hope he can solve the riddle of what I did to myself when I walked right into the descending ceiling of a home I was inspecting. The pain is intense enough that working is somewhat difficult. Just what I needed, a new challenge yet it could have been so much worse.

I've been approached by someone who has been calling urging me to sell my Marriott timeshare in the Desert Springs timeshare development. yes I would love to sell it but his gimmick is to have me give him $2050 to do the paperwork for a buyer he claims is willing to pay $17,500. Nikki had me check into Redweek. com, an interesting site which shows actual units on the market by owners wishing to sell. There are two from the same undesirable season, that is July and August, that are listed for $3,000 and $3,500. Funny how this pitchman can find buyers willing to pay $17,500. You know I don't think so and I won't be parting with $2,050 I don't have just to make his day. Like he says he'll just have to find another owner who wants to sell. There are so many ways right now for people to try to get at your money, yikes, what a strange world it is.

Well my awake time is fast running out. I'm sleepy and I know getting up at 5:30 will not be enjoyable so at this point I'll cut the narrative short. I send love to all family and dear friends who continue to labor through this blog each morning. May you find inspiration or wisdom from time to time in spite of the writer.

I love you all,

tim

Another day several more dollars!

Dear Family and Friends,
As I write this evening I'm smiling from just having been on the phone with my elderly brother! Actually he moves better than I do and certainly has his weight much more in control. He is so much fun to talk to and he reports that things are getting back to a sort of normal there. He spent time in his garden which happens to be a work of art and picked some wild blackberries today, now doesn't that sound relaxing and enjoyable?

We walked this morning and then I made oatmeal. I went right to work and finished up an appraisal for a purchase in Vacaville and emailed that to the lender, my friend Judy who has just had a baby and longs to be able to sleep again.

During the day various bill collectors called and it amazes me, they never look at their screens or they would have a clue as to why I'm slow in getting some bills paid, they ask the same questions every week and frankly I'm tiring of answering. I always get the bills paid, just not as quickly as they would like. This evening one really got to me while I was shopping at CostCo and just would not quit in spite of the fact that I had made the payment he was after on line this morning. I know one line of work I would not like to do in the future, make collection calls. I'm afraid I would not have the nasty attitude it takes to be successful at it.

The mail today was just what I like, some trash envelopes but nestled in between were two slim envelopes, both were checks from lenders and both were very welcome. Those two envelopes covered over half the house payment, yea! Thank you Lord.

Yet when I was out and about and had completed the Brentwood appraisal and was heading to the Castro Valley one I stopped at Taco Bell and the business account credit card would not work, mind you I had just put over a $1,000 in and yet it would not work. Fortunately the other card worked and I got my much desired feast. The weather was much cooler here today than the past few days and the house AC hardly came on at all. I'm ready for a break from the intense heat.

Well tomorrow is another work day and I have several that need to be written and delivered. I am thankful for the work and am hoping for more to arrive. The other day I happened to be in Yahoo and was on a page showing appraisers located near to Discovery Bay. In comparison to the old days when there were about 3 of us there must be 15 or 20 now. No wonder it is harder to find work with all these upstarts many who are willing to work for any amount no matter how small. Pretty challenging to compete with that. I know how little shops feel when KMart or WalMart comes to town and sells every thing for less. many of these appraisers have very little experience but at the present time lenders don't seem to care, how cheap and how quick? Those are the key questions with many orders.

Sending love to all,

Tim

This old boy can still move!

Dear Family and Friends,
9:40 Sunday evening, the dryer is just finishing up a blanket, sheets are ready to load next, AC systems are still running as its been hot today, very hot.
This morning Ken lured me out for our daily walk and then upon my return I loaded up the bike on the bike rack on the motorhome and headed down to its storage yard. Then I unloaded the bike, locked up the coach and started my ride back. Nan purchased the bike for me several years ago and it is a real delight. This is one of those sold through an infomercial on late night TV. It has a genuine automatic transmission, it knows just when to shift up or down and really moved. So I climbed up on the very hard seat and started pedalling home. Funny how much further it seems when you are riding instead of driving. First it was down the road to Safeway, then through the parking lot to a trail which leads across wetlands to Discovery Bay, then it is surface streets the rest of the way home. I'm sure my heart was very startled to be called on for all that blood flow for such a long period of time but before too long I was riding into my driveway. I nearly fell off the bike and for the rest of the day I've moved carefully.

I made Oatmeal pancakes for breakfast and along with a banana that provided the fuel I needed to get me to the recliner where I watched a PBS movie about the creation of our national parks. I'm sure I napped during the show and then I set up orders, prepared a deposit. Nikki rescued me from boredom asking if I'd like to join her and the girls for lunch. That was really a fun experience and watching Kallie begin to handle a fork and spoon is a real adventure. After I left the kids house my next stop was the bank but when I tried to insert my card to make a deposit something was lodged in the card pathway so I had to settle for a drop deposit in the metal box.

At home I did some cleaning on the fish tank, ran the dishwasher, ran the clothes washer, rolled out the garbage, picked tomatoes, wished over the spa that still refuses to work properly no matter how hard Ray works on it. I think he may pull the last of his hair out over that dumb spa, he has tried everything and it works fine on the workbench, just not when it is all installed.

Now its time to head to bed. This evening I had a most welcome call from Irene. She shared her experiences from a 12 day stay in the hospital. What a ordeal she has endured, lasix, iron and potassium pills, 5 units of blood but they managed to remove over 20 pounds of fluids and though tired she is happy to be home and gradually recovering. I must say talking with Irene is an experience like walking with Enoch or Moses. She knows her Lord and her confidence in God's dealings with her is warm and comforting. Much of what she is experiencing takes me back very vividly to Nan's experiences, the low blood numbers, the dangerously low levels of potassium, the retention of fluids. None of this is fun in any way yet her care seems to be so good and her medical team so quick to respond, that is reassuring. I know Irene appreciates our prayers. This prayer warrior knows prayer.

I hope for each of you as you turn to a new week that you will find peace, meaning, success, love and guidance.

love

tim

Oh the weekend!

Hi from my desk,

What a relaxing day this has been for after the hundreds of miles driven yesterday it was nice to roll out and walk with Ken this morning, then sort of take it easy until the memorial service for John Coleman at a local church. Several friends from the grief group were there. The pastor did a masterful job for John and his family. John was not a simple man, he had been in the special forces during the Vietnam war and had many secrets he never shared about his missions and his actions during that time. Over the years he had come near to death from wounds but it was lung cancer that was the final straw.
After the service his wife opened their home for a sort of wake and many people joined the family. She is a gracious and lovely woman who had to endure years of John's increasingly weakened condition. She will endure and plans to be back at work on Monday, she thinks that is the best way for her to cope. We are all different and work, routine can be an excellent healer.
After the service I came home and finding the house comfortable with the AC holding off the 102 temperature I napped for hours. Pam texted me a few times as she drove across Nevada for a cross country trip she is on. Later I stumbled out of bed feeling my age and weight and came downstairs. I decided that instead of snacking I would create a decent meal. I steamed a package of veges and at the same time browned some meal started in olive oil. As it cooked I broke an egg into the burger and mixed it up. Then I put the burger meal started over the warm veges and enjoyed a very nice meal.
Then it was time to settle into the recliner and find the Mentalist on the DRV. I just love that guy in action and the whole group of actors that make up the show. This evening I've had several really great calls from friends, it is so pleasant to be able to share life and feelings with friends who understand and are also facing challenges in their lives. The give of friendship, two people expressing support, listening, reflecting, sharing common experiences, this gift is very precious indeed. It can't be purchased, or sold, or handed off to someone else. It is the essence of loving and living.
Now its time to head to bed and rest up for a big work day tomorrow. How blessed I feel to have work.

So love to all,

Tim

Home

Dear Family and Friends,
After a trip of over 700 miles we are home safe and sound. We arrived at 10:18 which is just what the GPS sold us hours ago. The van delivered 25 mpg on this final leg of the trip which was nice. The morning started in Weed where the temperature was already warm. We visited with the family for awhile and finally left heading to Mcarthur, a tiny town located in the hills near Mt Lassen. What a beautiful countryside we found as we drove. We left I 5 just below Mt Shasta City and drove on Highway 89 for 40 minutes or so, then on the Dana cutoff which delivered us right to the property we needed to see. After a pleasant visit and inspection of the house I spend some time with local real estate agents and fellow appraisers. We found some lunch at a tiny local place and it was so good. Then we started to drive the comps. 1 and 1/2 hours later we finally shot a photo of the last comp and headed to Redding and then turned for home. Its been a long and enjoyable day. We've seen a part of the state I've never seen before with excellent roads, cute little towns, hundreds of acres of wild rice fields, mountains, streams and deep canyons.
The family was doing as well as can be expected today, this first day after bidding a final farewell to Suzie. Dana and Jennifer fly home tomorrow, back to their little ones in Houston and Florida and the sisters brought them down to Sacramento this evening and are spending the night in a hotel somewhere in the city.
Tomorrow morning Marilyn leaves to care for her sister who lives in Oroville as she has eye surgery and no one does a better job of caring for someone than Marilyn so she will be in good hands. Nikki flew in this evening from her week of education for the department of energy held in Dallas and could hardly wait to see Steve and the girls.
What I look forward to most now is a shower and then to bed, my eyes are worn out from the sun and lights of oncoming cars. The van is wonderfully comfortable but even in comfort one gets tired after hours in the saddle.

So I send love to all,

Tim

Suzies Service

Dear Family and Friends
The family said a formal goodbye this evening to Suzie. I was invited to have a small part, there was beautiful music, all of the sisters and her two precious daughters spoke and the pastor of their local church here in Weed at the Berean Church did an excellent job with the sermonette. Ruth, a sister, put together a power point presentation about what they knew of Suzie's life. Here we have the story of a baby taken by the fathers family and for 44 years Suzie did not know her real family. Finally she and Donna found each other on the Internet and had a reunion back in Texas. Then Suzie moved out to the west but was really only here a short time until she was struck with pancreatic cancer. In addition Jennifer, Suzie's oldest daughter was adopted out by a very nice family and she grew up not knowing her mom until a few years ago. So the story is one of reunions and family.
I am so very proud of Jerry and Donna for bringing Suzie home to be cared for by family until she died.
The trip up today in the van went quickly, for one thing going 80 works better than 55 in the motorhome and even at that I got 22 mpg. We stopped in Sac and picked up Dana who had just flown in for the services tonight. It was really amazing to hear both daughters stand, move to the pulpit and give moving comments about their mother and the family. Each of them have little kidos who they have to return home to soon and I think they will fly out on Saturday.
I'm totally worn out this evening and looking forward to falling sleep. It feels strange to be away from home but as I sat in the service it became totally clear that this is the place I was to be this evening. It felt right.

So I'm sending love to all and urging you once again to go out of your way to do acts of love and kindness to others, especially in your own families. Like we learned in our 40 days to Love session on Wednesday night we should slow down and become much more aware of those around us that might need our active love.

love

tim

A rather busy day

Good evening,
This has been a productive day. I've heard it was warm outside but it stayed comfortable in my office where I remained pushing paper, punching keys and making sense out of data. I started early, Ken had meetings so I came down and worked. I wrote two appraisals, fixed another one and picked up Keanna at 12:45, then to McDs for snack, then back home for homework under Marilyn's watchful eye. At 3:40 I had her at Willys Bagels where a music class takes place in a meeting room. Getting to the meeting room is terrible, the place is jammed with rude kids just out of high school and not a bit interested in moving out of the way, not an impressive bunch at all. Keanna loves her class and at 4:50 I went back and sat in on the last of the class with Keanna. Then were off to meet up with her Daddy and Kallie at a local mexican place. Keanna wanted to eat there because the Mariachi band plays on Wednesday nights. Sure enough they started and it was loud. Keanna loved it and so did Kallie.
We headed to Tracy with Lois in tow to attend a meeting of the 40 days of love under the direction of Sylvia. Now we are home and getting things together for our trip.
Tomorrow morning Ken and I will walk our 3 miles. Then I'll take a quick shower and we will load up in the car to drive to Vacaville to see a house, then on to Sac airport to pick up Dana, Suzie's younger daughter, then we will drive to Weed and attend the services for Suzie. On Friday we will head back and attempt to do an appraisal in Shasta County way out in the sticks. Eventually we'll arrive back at home Friday afternoon or evening.

So wish us well as we travel on this mission of saying a final good night to Suzie, our brave little lady.

love to all

Tim

Suzie is at rest

Dear Family and Friends,

Suzie fell asleep in Jesus at about 8 am this morning. Hers was a brave battle against huge odds and she fought her fight her own way to the end. Now she rests with all those who have gone before and our memories of her are her legacy. She leaves fine children and grandchildren who will carry on the spunk and fire that was Suzie. Her services will be Thursday evening and Marilyn and I are driving up on Thursday so we can attend. It was a personal pleasure that I got to meet Suzie and share time with her. I only met her a few months ago but it seems she has been a part of my life much longer than that. She and her mother only found each other a few years ago after being parted since she was a baby. Donna and Jerry came down and took her home to be with family as she grew weaker.

This evening I learned from Patty that another person has died. He was a member of special forces during the Vietnam war, had medals, awards and lived a very special life. John will be missed a lot by all of us who knew and admired him.

I've been very busy today working through the process of joining US Bank so I can receive work from them, that took a while this morning, then wading through desk busy work that has to be done once in awhile. Finally I settled down to writing appraisals and just now I've completed the second one. My how good it feels to hit the send button and email them away to the lender who ordered them. Yes I'm busy right now and it feels so comforting. Poor Marilyn has just had to fend for herself today as I was a poor social director but a good worker.

Today is Jason's birthday. My little guy is now 32 and spent the day on the ocean whale watching, of course the fog kept the entire Junior Class from seeing a thing but Jason and Timothy enjoyed their time on the ship.

So I'm turning in now. Sending my love to all and reminding each of you that Irene continues to need our prayers. Her battle is very intense at this time.

love

tim

ps the photo is of the pit bull we met yesterday in Petaluma. Sweetest dog you ever met.

A great day

Dear Family and Friends,
At 7 pm we drove into the garage after a very long and productive day. A day that included visits to Petaluma, Windsor, Napa and many points in between. Our return trip took us through the beautiful countryside of Sonoma with its acres of vineyards, beautiful wineries and deep blue skies. As we journeyed on Highway 12 from Fairfield to Rio Vista we passed new wind turbines that are huge and graceful in design.

My morning started with a walk with Ken in the 60 degree morning. Then a quick shower and we loaded up and hit the road. Setting the GPS to Petaluma we traveled through Martinez, then Benicia, Vallejo, across Highway 37 past the raceway and arrived nearly on time. We found an anxious seller, one who really didn't want to sell but finances forced the move. She was distraught over what to do with her beautiful Pit Bull girl. What a sweet and kind doggie, we both loved her immediately and Marilyn spend a lot of time helping her with ideas of how to locate a new home for her or how to find a new place to live where the doggie would be welcomed. Finally we pulled ourselves away, shot the comps and headed to Windsor for a quick photo attempt. Along the way Olive Garden called to us so we had lunch. After Windsor we quickly drove to Napa and found a house loaded with antiques. What a grand old gentleman. After completing the inspection of his house we headed home. Traffic was not bad but there is a great deal of road construction on 12 to make it safer.

Upon our arrival at home I discovered a check waiting, always a nice discovery. Loree came and worked the files today and things look remarkably better now. Tomorrow is another big day with plenty of work to do. Right now Marilyn is checking out Dancing with the Stars as I'm sure some of you are as well.

Today Marilyn really ministered to the lady in Petaluma and it was really beautiful to see how they connected. If I was dog less I'd bring this one home. She is really special.

Well for now I'm heading to bed. The constant headache and stiff neck continue. Every day, every night the pain is the same. Just not sure how to proceed but its getting to be sort of old and tiresome to me.

love to all,

Tim

A great work day!

Dear Ones,
This will be quick. I've really cranked out the work today. I've sort of felt like God was kind enough to give me work, I'd better step up and do it on time. So I've turned out about 4 reports today, learned how to use a new connecting link to lenders, inspected a house in Weston Ranch over in Stockton, made Oatmeal pancakes for breakfast and now I'm ready to crash, to sleep that is.

I'm so torn as Ray says he has the spa ready to go, I just need to fill it with water but I didn't dare take the time to go play, had to get these reports done since we'll be on the road tomorrow to Petaluma and Napa with no time to write reports at all.

Poor Marilyn has been pretty much ignored today but was able to go shopping for a bit and purchased batteries for my camera. When we were in Stockton seeing the house the camera quit, it needed batteries, a very timely purchase indeed!

It felt good to have work to do and then do it. In the process of buying this new connecting link to lenders I've ended up with a new web page for my business. I'm not quite through building it yet but when I'm ready I'll share the address so you can check it out. Lets people order appraisals, learn about the company and hopefully will transate into new business. It seems like things really began to turn about the time of the 40 days of love meeting last Wednesday night! Who ever knows things for sure but I do know I've sure thought a lot about what loving really means and realizing how little I know about it. One would think that after what I've been through I might know a bit more about love and in some ways it has taught me important lessons but oh there is so much more to learn and do!

What kind of lover are you? Do you know clearly why you are here on earth at this point? What people need what you have to give and share?

So I'm sending my best attempts at love tonight,

Tim

Checking in

Dear Family and Friends,
This is a quick check in to let you know how the weekend is going so far. So much in such a short time. We enjoyed Kallie so much last evening and then I took her home and she was so happy to see her daddy. Jason and Jo had a terrible commute lasting over 4 hours but finally arrived. They quickly went to bed and this morning we had Belgium Waffles and fruit. Then all to soon they were on the road again for Covelo where they are spending the weekend with friends. It was great to see Timothy and to play with him, listen to his expanding vocabulary and see him in action. It was hard to see them drive away. Seems life is just a series of saying good bye over and over again.
Marilyn and I went to Tracy SDA church and heard Pastor Jessica deliver an excellent sermon. She really is something and speaks to the heart in such a powerful way. Then Marilyn and I had lunch and came home to rest for a bit, watched some really talented kids on 3ABN. This evening we spent some pleasant time on Ray and Lois's back deck in the cool breezes. Now its coming to an end. Its been a good relaxing day and family, worship, beautiful moments all combine to feed the soul again and again.

love to all

Tim

When speaking to Jerry this evening he sadly reported that Suzie is weakening fast. She has fought a very valiant fight and soon she will be a peace. God bless her and give her peace.

At last its Friday evening

Dear Family and Friends,
This evening Jason and Jo along with Timothy are settling down in my bed. It took them over 4 hours to make a normally short 2 hour trip from MBA to our house this evening. Traffic was really bad all the way so I'm glad they are here safe and sound. I hope they can find a way to be comfortable as I normally use a little AC in my room but the sound is pretty loud and they didn't think they could sleep but the outside air is very warm still, like about 75 degrees so I hope they can find a way to be comfortable. I'm heading to the motorhome where the AC is on and I know I'll be comfortable.

This has been a very busy day with a lot to do to get ready for guests. There was dusting, scrubbing, mopping and running the old vacuum. But I'm glad for the results, a whole lot of dirt moved outside today and that is good.

Work continues to come in. Right now I'm set to see two on Monday and perhaps at least one on Sunday, then to get them written quickly to deliver to the clients. I had to spend $279 today to purchase an access system to load appraisals to but since two orders have already come in through that system it is paid for. It will give me a web site that is good for business I guess.

I'm glad that the Sabbath has come. Marilyn and I watched a wonderful program this evening about two lodges built in Yosemite and Yellowstone. I've actually been a part of a filming of a Christmas special at the Ahwanee in Yosemite before and that was great. I've always wanted to travel and spend nights in the grand lodges connected to national parks around the country, there are several. Good to dream I guess.

Here's hoping you have a great Sabbath, weekend and keep cool.

Love

tim

Miles miles miles

Dear Family and Friends,
As I write this evening it is with a sense of satisfaction in how today has gone. This morning started early as I was needed to assist with the little angels. It was a charmed moment when I looked up and Keanna stood still with wonder in her eyes as she realized that pappa was there to take her to school. Another very special moment was standing before Kallie's little bed and watching her wake up, grab her dollie and place it lovingly on a little pillow. We had a great morning and Keanna was a huge help with everything.
After I delivered them to their respective places for the day I traded van for bug and left for Novato. Traffic was nasty in a few places but I arrived just a few minutes late to find a beautiful remodeled home with pool and very nice owners. When I completed the comps and headed to Stockton the GPS had me going the wrong way but was it really. For as I drove across Rio Vista I discovered that a detour had been established forcing me to drive half way to Sacramento by the river and then across the fields to Freeway 5 and then down to Stockton. When I arrived I found the agent already there with the little house open for inspection. It was cute, clean but showed its age a bit. Of course what do you expect for $90,000? After completing the inspection and subsequent comp search my warning light was on and as I looked closer I discovered I had driven 547 miles on that last tank of diesel. Not bad for a car with 203,000 on it. I put in $10 knowing I had that much in the bank and headed home. Upon arrival several nice surprises waited. First off a check for $450 was in the mail for an appraisal I did a couple months ago. Entering the office I discovered two new orders had arrived and one I had on my desk was offering to pay by AMEX. Well I jumped on that. Looking at my online banking I discovered that an AMEX payment I had entered days ago had finally come through for yet another $450. All in all it was a very good day.
So tomorrow will find me back on the road heading to Petaluma and then Stockton for two more purchases. That will make an amazing 5 orders for the week, wow, I'm impressed, thank you Lord for knowing best.
This evening Marilyn created a steamed vege feast. It was amazing, brown rice, asparagus, squash, broccoli, burger crumbs and all cooked to perfection. I'm stuffed and in a very good way.
Thank you for your prayers and kind thoughts. Tonight I'm enjoying a moment of hope!

love

tim

Keanna brightens up the scene

So
Here is how it is. Finally two orders came today, both from management companies and both are paying pretty decently, but the orders are in Novato and Stockton so I'll be on the road a bit tomorrow, should be fun. Plus I get to help with the girls in the morning. Its been a long time since that happened so I'll have a very full day and I'm just hoping for safety as I drive and wisdom as I work.

Lois, Marilyn and I have just returned from attending the first of 6 sessions in a Rick Warren study group in Tracy. It was led by Sylvia who does a great job with anything she attempts. The group was very nice and the material is super, what feelings it engendered in me as the topic of love was explored in depth. I've forgotten much about love over the past couple years and survival has taken its place, survival is never very satisfying, certainly not a replacement for love in any manner.

17 churches are taking part in this 40 days of love series of home meetings. It is a great way to start thinking and growing love wise again.

This will have to be short tonight since I have to do my research for both properties and then get to bed so I can rise early and be ready for the day.

Keanna came this afternoon, did a great job of her homework under the watchful eye of Marilyn. We got a snack at McDonald's and then at 3:45 I took her to a bagel shop and to its back room where a new program in music for little kids was being taught. I left her there and Nikki picked her up later. I've not heard yet how she liked it. I hope she loved it as the teacher seemed very nice and caring.

Well good night to all,

love

tim

The day the music stopped

Dear Ones,
This has been one of those days that would be nice to set aside and forget.
I set to work early this morning with two objectives, write two appraisals that were due today and keep working on finding work from management companies. The two appraisals are written and emailed to their lender but the work on finding work from managment companies is not going so well. I'll just have to keep at it. All day today I've been dealing with a pretty strong headache and nothing seemed to help that.

Midday I checked in with the online banking to discover I was $170 over. After getting nothing in the mail I was forced to use the remaining money from the little life insurance policy for Nan. It was with a very heavy heart that I drove to the bank to make the deposit with the last of the money. It felt like one more connection was being broken and it did not feel good in any way. This storm I live in every day seems to almost never have a port to put in for a break, bad news just keeps coming and coming with nary a break.

I've just spent time in the online banking and I see I'm in more trouble as more automatic payments are coming in. Please keep me in your prayers as I work through this current set of challenges. I am now at a new place, no new orders to clutter up my desk. I never thought I would see the day but it has arrived. I have three to write up tomorrow, Keanna is coming after school and then I take her to her new music class which is located in Brentwood and Nikki will pick her up afterwards. Sylvia is inviting me to join a small group meeting in Tracy for a 1 hour session tomorrow evening and I think I could benefit from some spiritual lifting.

The headaches are a new thing, I've almost never had them before but I've not been free of one for the last week which causes some concern on my part, what is going on? My head feels packed full, the neck refuses to turn, oh well life moves on.

Sorry to be so chipper this evening. Will do better some day.

love

tim

Putting in the time

Dear Family and Friends,
First you walk, then you shower, then you eat, then you sit at the computer, then it is night, then you go to bed. Well its not quite that bad, in between you deposit a check (yea), you watch Keanna at gymnastics and enjoy the progress and the happy waves as she realizes that you are there to observe and cheer.

After a very good but all too short talk with Art yesterday morning my thinking became more clear in what I need to do next to jump start this survival work wise thing. If the only place to get work is the management companies and there are about 300 of them then until you have been told no 300 times you have a chance of new work. It costs very little to apply and in many cases it is free, just effort, time, organization (they all have forms to fill out, emails to send, pdfs to download etc. So after completing an appraisal this morning I devoted the afternoon to knocking on some management company doors, as of this evening I have very little progress to show for it but I've moved forward at least some. I'm still not sure how to keep track of each of these companies without getting bogged down in the process.

I've spend considerable time today thinking about what I like about the life I had and how I can reclaim portions of it for the future. Frankly I'm pretty clear on types of people I do NOT want in my future but not nearly as clear when it comes to formulating the ones I would like to consider. There are a few things I know for sure having watched others move forward in their adult lives socially. In light of a deepening sense of comfort in the core beliefs that I hold I do not want to pursue anything or anyone that is not comfortable with basic values like Christianity, deep rather than just show, people first, not stuff, a total acceptance of my love for my family and their family as well, not required to have deep pockets but stability a must since I'm not in a good rescue place right now, must love life, nature, animals, adventure, good music, good food and so on. Unfortunately the basic list seems to grow longer as time passes. While I know I won't ever find another Nan it would seem wrong headed to ignore the life style that guided her living and not settle for something weak and shallow. Fortunately I have excellent family and friends to assist me in any screening process should things ever move that far. I trust my family, my friends and most of all my Lord to guide in the future.

Tomorrow will be dedicated to the writing of the three properties I inspected last Friday. None of the three will be easy, none are impossible either.

Please pray that God will guide me as I step up to the plate and try to find new clients. I believe God wants me to prosper but I know He needs me to do my part, to knock at electronic doors and make a real effort.

Thanks for sharing my experience with me, you are all precious to me and to your loved ones. You make the world worth living.

love

Tim

Why are we here?

Dear Family and Friends,

Did you ever wonder why you are here? alive, breathing, sharing, admiring, dreaming, resting, waking, spending, working, caring, fearing, tasting........... what is it all about anyway?

Been thinking a bit about a life I once enjoyed with Nan. In a few words she could thrill me, excite me or destroy me, why was that, what was there about her thoughts, her words, her glares or smiles that had such power? Well she was a pretty thoughtful and confident woman, a human being who did not decide how to act by what someone would think, no she did what she thought was correct for the situation. I miss her moral compass, her insights into what was right, all the way from her frown if the colors I had chosen were wrong to her discomfort if I was hogging the conversation with others or if I was driving with my emotions instead of my head. She was one of those rare persons who just knew how to live in a pretty responsible manner and it was a privilege to be along for the ride. Not always but usually she made good sense and had courage to live up to her convictions. She made wrong things right, stood by her family no matter what and was a good friend to many and a very close friend to a few.

So how do I move forward as I search for a purpose instead of floundering about? Not sure yet but I've not stopped praying about it and searching for the answers. As I write the rain has started to fall outside and I hear it striking the window, the smells that come when it first rains are everywhere and it is a pleasant moment. I have classicall music playing through my bose speakers and I'm winding up the day. I will always be deeply grateful to a loving God who allowed me the honor of meeting Nan at Pinecrest, of allowing us to fall in love and guiding us through our lives together. He blessed us with two precious and wonderful children who have grown to be the love of my life and now with the little ones I am so blessed. My story is not unique, in some ways its a terribly sad story, the tragic loss of Nan at 55, that is always a awful hit to a family but I know other families have also experienced terrible losses, some through divorce, others through death. Yet this blog is about my experience and so I share much of what I am going through though I know much of it seems self serving and boring, it is a pretty honest look at how one individual is attempting to find his way and I thank you for going with me as I journey forward.

love

tim

The girls are great!

Dear Family and Friends,

I'm writing this evening after a day spent with Keanna and Kallie. We picked them up this morning and drove to Sabbath School. Marilyn and I took Kallie and while Kim taught the class Kallie had a blast, she got to high five the teacher, took part in lots of the activities and in general had a smiling good time. Keanna went to her Sabbath School class where Sylvia, Wes, Pat and Rod are the teachers. This was the first time she went by herself and she did a great job of taking part and learning.

After Sabbath School we loaded up and drove to Burger King where the kids played and we all had lunch courtesy of Marilyn. Finally the girls had their fill of play and we drove home. As we turned into Discovery Bay Kallie fell asleep so when we pulled into the driveway I carried her up to her bedroom, Nikki had it cool and the little bed set up. I changed Kallie and put her in cool clothes and she slept for a couple hours. Keanna took in a couple episodes of Clifford the big red Dog and then we ventured out to the park. What fun it was to push Keanna higher and higher until she squealed with delight. Finally she tired of the park and we walked home just before her mom arrived.

This evening Marilyn made a very nice meal with some whole wheat tortillas and we've watched past shows of CSI miami. Now we are winding it down and heading to bed. It has been a very rewarding day. Kallie and Keanna are vibrant little girls with smiles, ideas, strength and spunk. They always amuse and amaze me and having them in my life is a great great blessing.

At 10 tomorrow morning I get to conduct a FHA appraisal for a purchase right here in Discovery Bay. I've already been paid with a credit card and by tomorrow night I'll have the report written and emailed to the lender. I am thankful for the order and its nice to have one here after the day I just went through on Friday driving 270 miles to see three properties.

So I send love to all,

Tim

270 miles

Dear Family and Friends,

It is so good to be home tonight after a very safe and productive day out in the wild world. My wild world includes inspections in Patterson, Stockton and Sacramento. None of these were little dumps. These were all significant homes, large and appealing properties and all heading into foreclosure.

The little black vw did a great job of keeping me safe and cool today in spite of it being a very warm day outside. Each of these properties required many more comps than if they were little homes and of course finding all the properties and taking photos was a challenge.

In Stockton the subject was located behind a security gate. Fortunately after a wait gardeners came to work and I followed them in. Then when I was attempting to shoot comp photos the gate keeper at a swank subdivision refused to let me in. In my 22 years that has only happened a few times but he would not budge so the Lord led me to another entrance a few blocks away and that lady saw it differently and I found myself right where I wanted to be and was able to shoot all 9 comp photos. I was relieved that it all worked out OK.

This evening Lois sprang for dinner at Subway and the sandwich with the garden burger patty was so tasty, long day, nice way to unwind with friends.

When I finished mowing the lawn a grown duck appeared in the yard. He quickly forgot about me when he saw Lois and followed her everywhere and would not let her out of his or her sight. Finally we had to trick the duck with her getting into the car quickly. The duck quacked broken heartedly after she was gone and when we came back the duck was on her front porch. Marilyn and I found it very humorous, more so than Lois who was stuck with a new admirer. I've included a couple photos of her new friend.

I'm glad that this week has come to a close and tomorrow we get to take the girls to Sabbath School. What an enjoyable experience that will be.

I hope your weekend is lining up to be meaningful to you, spend time caring for those you love while you can, never forget family relationships are special and worth caring for no matter what!

love

tim

I'm keeping at it.......

Dear Family and Friends,
8:10 and I'm blogging early as I plan to go to bed early and get an early start in the morning. Today has been rather low key with a brisk walk this morning, then move some firewood, eat oatmeal, shower and crank out some appraisal stuff, then research research for several drivebys from Chevy Chase. These are all properties that are about to go into foreclosure, so sad. Two of them are huge, the first one down in the valley is 3800 sf with 10 acres so I guess you know the comps are awful for that one, no sales. Then the one in Stockton is 5,200 sf and is located in the country club area and again very few comps to select from. The Sacramento one is the most normal and there are plenty of comps for that one. It will be an interesting day for sure, long miles.

This is a pleasant time of year with cooling temperatures, chilly evenings, full moons and sunsets to observe. How I wish I could be busy with work and be sharing work with Steve. I could never have imagined my present reality with nearly no phone calls during the day, no faxes coming in, 3 orders for the entire week and they are only partial orders, low fees.

This Sabbath will be special. I get to have both girls for Sabbath School and in fact the day. Marilyn and I will be kept busy keeping up with these two little charmers. We've just come back from observing Keanna at gymnastics and she is getting her cartwheel down pretty well as well as doing stuff on the bars. Nikki came in at quitting time with a smiling Kallie who is now learning to say Pappa in much the same way that Timothy is saying now. Talk about music to the soul and a reminder of ones purpose in life.

So good night my friends and family,

love

tim

Back on track

Dear Friends and Family
As lame as yesterday was with nearly everything computer wise refusing to work today was the opposite. Today was good. We walked and the walking seems so easy now with sea level altitude, level terrain and a defined distance. Then Jim from I-Net computers had written with the web site for a program especially created to rid computer registries of worms. I ran the program and my computer came to life. It is AMER.net and what difference it can make if you have certain words embedded deep in the computer's programming. I've run it on three of my computers and all three had bad stuff which the program removed. So my computer was back to its old quick self. Then after a discussion with my bank they reversed three $29 charges for overdraft items that were really covered. Then I went to work in earnest to complete the Tahoe appraisal and I finished that just before picking up Keanna at her school at 12:45.

We went to Aladinos for lunch, Marilyn and I had salads and then came home where Marilyn helped her with her homework after which she did some cutting and pasting, played with the copier, had red jellos, watched some episodes of Clifford the Big Red Dog and then we went to the park where she had a great time. What fun it is to push a little tyke in the swing and have them ask to go higher and higher. Finally we tired of the park and walked back home where shortly later her mom arrived with another little fireball, Kallie who charged around the house closing doors, collecting things and having fun. Then like a whirlwind Nikki had them loaded and gone.

This evening we drifted over to the Boardwalk and I had a garden burger and water while Marilyn had her usual and Lois tried a burger. Now we are back and relaxing for the evening. I believe Marilyn is saving the highlights of General Hospital which today had a very exciting story line with mayhem taking place on the set.

I nearly have a second appraisal completed and three orders came in today for which I am eternally grateful. They are in Patterson, Stockton and Sacramento and pay $315 each.

Suzie continues to have better days which is causing some readjusting to the care she is receiving, today she was even able to walk and held long conversations. They all need our prayers as they struggle with this whole process from day to day. I love my family, all of them and feel blessed to have discovered more of them along the way. Speaking of family Dana called today from Houston and is doing well. She was full of life and stories and it was just wonderful to hear her voice again.

So I'm sending love to each and every one of you tonight.

Tim

A Time in Weed

Sadie, beloved best friend

The little lawn

The deck where mornings are welcomed

Patio for afternoon naps and evening fires in the pit

Suzie holds the new baby

The mansion

Mountain stream about 50 feet from its origin from the mountainside

The clear stream as it passes over grasses and granite

First lady Donna with daughter Ruth, glamour shots!

Brother Jerry in the midst of his garden

Major sleeping area, otherwise known as the living room

Cynthia and grandaughter with new baby

Suzie holds court

Aunt Sharon, Donna's sister


Photographs from my trip to see Suzie.

love

tim

Home safe

Dear Family and Friends,
I arrived home at 10:30 this evening after an uneventful drive of 6 hours. This time I decided that I was in no hurry so I would drive just 55 mph and it looks like I managed about 11.3 mpg for the entire trip up and back which is just at 600 miles. Coming home was a pleasure in spite of heavy traffic as the slow lane is dominated by large trucks and their drivers were very accommodating. I stopped once in Redding for fuel and the tank was pretty low I think. At that point I put in 23 gallons and drove home with one stop at a rest stop somewhere to get more drinks up front. The doggies settled in for the trip and seemed to have a great time.

This morning when I entered the house it was with pleasant surprise that I discovered Suzie sitting up at the breakfast table with a pillow in her arms and a 2 month old baby peering up at her and she looking down on him. Later she had some peaches that we picked yesterday and we spoke briefly. She was having a good day.

Jerry and I headed out to the forest for a good hike midday and walked between 3 and 4 miles. Along the way we say evidence of a snake crossing the path, coyote, rabbits, birds and then we arrived at the trails end where a small stream comes right out of the mountainside. It runs cold and pure and has small mountain trout darting about. It was a beautiful sight with tall trees all around, cool breezes, the mountain looming in the background.

By the time we got back I was really ready to get off my feet and headed for a quick meal of a garden burger and some cottage cheese with a peach and some peach ice tea. I also hit the little shower in the motorhome which works so well and is so refreshing. After that I felt more human and went back in. Wayne and his wife had joined the group. He is Donna's son and lives nearby. His wife is a lovely woman and seems to fit right in with the group. As I prepared to leave I went to Suzie's bedside and not wanting to wake her I just paused for a moment to place her once again in the good Lord's hands and then turned and left. As I drove home Jerry called to say she asked where I was and I told him to tell her that I left her with a prayer.

Last night was really cool and this morning I discovered through sleepy eyes why. During the day I had opened the rear power vent and while it had stopped blowing cool air it did not close itself so I had slept all night with the night air pouring in and down around me on the bed. No wonder the dogs stayed so near and in spite of an extra blanket it was still cold. Because this is mountain country already the nights are approaching 40 degrees.

Jerry insisted on filling my outside compartments with firewood which I appreciate very much. This trip the motorhome performed perfectly and with a higher air pressure it drives better, gets better mileage and even stops much quicker. Isn't it interesting how little things add up and can make such a difference.

For me this was a wonderful trip in spite of the basic reason for going, to see Suzie one more time. In the process I deepened my connection to this marvelous family and had my own spiritual and emotional batteries recharged. I know many of you understand how life can sort of beat you down and you end up existing day by day but then you go on vacation or take a long weekend and suddenly life becomes more clear and meaning begins to be recharged in ones thinking. This has been a very good experience and the cost was reasonable, $159.53 for the round trip.

I wonder how your labor day weekend went? Were you able to renew your life batteries? I certainly hope so. Traveling so far also gave me opportunity to have long quality time with friends on the phone through the blue tooth earpiece. Coming home I enjoyed hours of old time radio programs that are broadcast on XM radio. Stories certainly help the hours go by. The first part of the trip home from Weed to Redding I listed to the classical programming from XM and it was outstanding. I heard several pieces of music that are favorites and that too helps list spirits.

So tonight I write with a thankful heart.

love to all,

Tim

Visiting Suzie,

Dear Family and Friends,
This has been a very meaningful day. I arrived this morning at about 1:30 carrying Jennifer and Dana, Suzie's adult daughters. I had met them at the airport in Sacramento and we reached I 5 at about 9 pm. From there on it was smooth sailing. In fact from the airport to Redding I never cancelled the cruise having set it at 60. Traffic was light and Jennifer sort of introduced herself as we drove bringing me up to date on your life. Finally fatigue overcame her and she went to the bed in the back and went to sleep. Dana had boarded the motorhome and was asleep on the front bed in about 5 minutes. They both had risen very early in Houston and Florida to board flights across the country. I had reserved a couple bottle of Starbucks Mocha lite to assist me in staying awake. It worked. The trip was flawless and uneventful but I was very happy to finally get here and be out of the drivers seat. Jerry had kindly placed a power cord where I was to park and within a few minutes of arriving I was relaxing. Jerry had stayed up just to make sure everyone found their place and were settled in. The girls came in to see Suzie and actually got very little sleep the rest of the night. I went to bed and slept great until 8 this morning. At that point the dogs could wait no longer and insisted on a pleasure walk around the grounds of this fine resort. We walked and enjoyed the crisp morning air, the flowers, the fresh fruit and the expanse of carefully groomed lawns.

After walking I settled in on the deck to await the morning and human beings. Gradually they began to emerge after a very long night of caring for Suzie. There are many people here ranging in age from a 2 month old baby to Sharon who is Donna's sister. There is a sense of caring, holding one another up and family that is rarely seen in today's world. Susie is not doing well at this point. She is weakening but has not let go yet. She usually is aware of who is in the room and is certainly relieved to see Dana and Jennifer.

Jerry and I went for a hike this afternoon and sorry Ken, this hike has more views and points of interest than our walks around the lake. While we were hiking scout Jerry began to point out tracks of various animals including the tracks of a BEAR. We followed the tracks for quite a while and also saw deer tracks, bird tracks and signs of coyotes. But the amazing things was looking up at many vantage points along the path and seeing the western face of Mt Shasta. Jerry says it was no more than a few miles away and it is impressive. Our hike took us through beautiful rugged country and this time I did not have a low blood sugar hit so had a wonderful time. We were gone so long that the phone calls started with those at home asking where were we. When we got back I was able to show them the cell phone photo of the bear track and that seemed to settle them right now, NOT.

Earlier in the day Jerry and attacked his peach tree. It was loaded with beautiful fruit and we managed to pick every one of the dozens of peaches. They are amazingly good to eat and will taste good in the promised peach cobbler. It was a rare pleasure to be able to work side by side with Jerry and I always learn new things from him as we work. He is an amazing brother and I'm not just saying that because he is letting me use his computer to write this blog entry.

When I looked over the fuel usage coming up I think I was able to achieve about 11 miles per gallon and I'll probably do a bit better tomorrow when I drive home in the afternoon since the first part of the trip is downhill and I won't have a head wind as I drive home.

I would ask that you continue to pray for Suzie that she will rest in God's caring hands. She should have no doubts about being loved with the excellent care she is getting hour by hour. Hospice is guiding the care and they are incredible.

Please pray that my trip back will be uneventful tomorrow and for the will and the way to find more work once I get home. These moments of retreat to see Suzie and the family are very special and I love every one of these dear people.

love

tim
a special work of thanks to Ken and Ray for helping prepare the motorhome for this trip and to Leann who is feeding the cats and the fish and to Lois for keeping an eye out for robbers.

Leaving soon to see Suzie

Dear Family and Friends,
I'm writing early due to the schedule I'm about to embark upon. At 6:30 I'm drive the motorhome down the road to the Sacramento Airport where I will pick up Suzie's two sisters. They have both flown out from their homes in the south hopefully to see their mom again. Rather than have Jerry have to drive down to the airport today I've decided to take the motorhome and probably stay until sometime on Monday. I have so much love and respect for everyone there as they do the right thing by Suzie. What a powerful and moving demonstration of what love looks like.
Well just got a call and they are at the airport at 6:30 instead of 8:30 so they will doing some waiting.
I'll be writing tomorrow night I expect. I hope all of you are enjoying the holiday weekend.

Love to all

Keep the faith

Tim

At weeks end

Dear Family and Friends,
Amazingly another week has passed. Marilyn has sought refuge with her friends in Sacramento and I'm just back from a quick trip over to the Los Gatos area to inspect a very nice home. Now the Sabbath has arrived and I'm so ready.
I have decided to drive up to Jerry and Donna's place tomorrow and stay through Monday since it is a holiday. I'll be able to pick up two of Suzie's daughters in Sacramento after they arrive and save Jerry a trip down to get them.
Suzie has been able to hold conversations today and is looking forward to seeing her girls. It will be a sad trip but one I have decided to make after a lot of consideration.

This morning Keanna and Steve came to visit. They brought Melaboo who loves to swim in the lake. Keanna helped me pick tomatoes and then they went to breakfast. Later Steve took her to get her new shoes and she is thrilled.

I'm pretty tired tonight, the week has had lots of ups and downs with long periods of pretty low spirits. It never really lets up, the pressure to produce and find work, never experienced this before, never even have had to advertise in the past. The way I summarize it God has drug me through another week for which I am grateful.

So good night my friends and family,

love

tim

Tahoe and back

Dear Family and Friends,
As I write this evening life continues to change moment by moment. Suzie is very very ill and has just hours left. All the wonderful sisters are staying close giving her and Jerry and Donna support. It all seems so unfair. For many years she was lost to her mother and only in the past few years have they found each other. Now she is home with her mother caring for her in this critical time. I have such huge respect for Donna and Jerry for doing what they are doing, it is amazing and heart warming.

We drove out late morning after I battled with the Internet and my computer for a couple hours getting the data I needed to do the appraisal. I finally moved to a back up computer and it worked just fine. We had a nice 3 hour drive up, enjoyed the little cabin which sits by an open meadow, shot the comps and then headed back. We drove up on 50 and came back 88. Both are beautiful and nearly the same distance. Traffic was light and we had taken some water and string cheese with us. Now the trip is over and I am blogging and Marilyn is catching up via DVR on General Hospital.

Tomorrow I think I'll have Keanna for part of the day, I think I'll have lunch with Nikki and Keanna sometime in the middle of the day and then Marilyn will drive on to Sac to see her friends for the weekend and I'll putter around the house, get some work done and find new ways to get into trouble as long as they don't cost any money.

Pam had surgery on her ankle today to remove plates and steel pins which were placed after her fall awhile back. She is home and doing great and everything went well. I don't see her doing any long walks soon but she is on the way.

Jason and Timothy are both ill with fevers and malaise right now. They are hoping for a better tomorrow, I know they would appreciate your prayers in their behalf.

When ever I drive up Highway 50 I'm flooded with memories of our early days together. nan and I met at summer camp at Pinecrest Camp near Tahoe and we drove over Highway 50 many times together during the first summer. How we loved being together. I even remember the Sabbath when we climbed Pyramid Peak together and then came out onto Highway 50 way below the camp with darkness falling. How I miss her in all her glory.

love

tim

Keanna comes to visit this afternoon

What a bundle of joy and activity she is when she comes through the gate at school. She has other kids to hug bye and activities to share, ideas brimming over and opinions regarding life. This afternoon Marilyn took great care of her as they played games, one a new one that Marilyn had purchased for her, then watched Clifford the Big Red Dog shows off the DVR, did the homework that was assigned.

Ken and I walked as usual and then I left quickly for Concord. Something told me to raise the issue of payment even though the file / order had been marketed invoice. So I shared that I gave a discount if payment was made early in the process. The daughter of the 88 year old man thought that made great sense so I came home with a nice inspection of a great property and $400 to deposit. That really seemed like an extra blessing considering I did not expect anything today. The mail was devoid of funds but I'm promised that a check for two appraisals was mailed yesterday so I think tomorrow is the magic day!

Marilyn and I are leaving early in the morning for Tahoe where I will see a little cabin. We'll have a nice trip and it should go well.

Friday Keanna is coming to spend the day with me at least I think that is going to happen. Not sure yet whether Steve will want her to spend the day with him or not. I'm the backup.

Well since I still need to write an appraisal yet this evening I think I'll draw this to a close now.

Hold onto what and who you have in your life, treasure people.

love

tim

A day of decision

Dear Family and Friends,
As many of you know over and over again money has arrived just in time to cover the house payment over the past 2 years. That is until today, no money and tomorrow the payment hits the account. In some small way I feel like I did after I lost Nan to the cancer, I just could not get my mind around God letting her go and in a minor way I feel the same tonight, let down, deflated. I'm not sure how to work through it at this point.
In spite of the way I feel I've stayed with the work today and written a Patterson appraisal, did some busy work, set up two new orders, had a healthy lunch with brown rice, cottage cheese and tomatoes, oatmeal for breakfast, strawberries and I even tried something new with some yogurt and blue berries. It turned out to be excellent and so filling.
This evening Ray and Lois suggested we go to $5 night pizza at a local place so we did. This time I drank water, just trying to get down enough water and Marilyn bought me a salad too.
At this point I can think of little else other than finding a way to get the bills paid. I really hate even thinking about finances, I just want to work hard, be very careful what I spend and help others have a good life. I guess tonight I feel a bit abandoned. I keep thinking things would be different if Nan were here but of course we cannot know that, she is not here.
Tomorrow morning I'll drive to Concord to see a house, the order came this evening through the fax and I thought the fax was broken when I heard it start up. Unfortunately tomorrow's visit will be an invoice, not COD, tough to cope with. But then I head back to pick up Keanna at 12:45 from school. So for a few hours things will lighten up and we will read, play, travel to the park and enjoy.
So thats it for this evening. I try to write upbeat messages however I also try to be honest and share the real struggles of what life is like after one loses a loved one and tries to make it forward again.
Sending love to all,

Tim