Grief Recovery Group is helpful

Dear Friends and Family,
Well here I am again, 9:45 pm, just home from a very engaging meeting this evening. Held in a small building behind the local Methodist Church our little group was actually much larger this evening. I was struck by how diverse each of our experiences are and how different we are in responding to them, yet there are threads of commonality as well. In our group we have a lady who continues to care for her 52 year old husband who is very ill with COPD, a grandmother who is currently caring for a daughter and her eight children in a small 3 bedroom home and who lost her husband a year ago to cancer, a gentleman who was just given a new drug for his multi myalgia (sp) and was shocked to discovery a huge drop in his negative cancer numbers, he never expected to have improvement in his condition, a gentleman who lost his wife a year ago and has had a week of anger and frustration, a lady in remission after a couple surgeries whose pardner is stuck working in Hawaii when they both want to be together and so it goes. I found it helpful to once again be in a place where what you feel and express is accepted, not challenged or questioned, just accepted. I enjoy being there with fellow human beings who are also attempting to find reasons for carrying on after having crushing losses. Our leader is outstanding and just gently keeps things moving, its a noisy group really. Insurance companies, medical facilities, drug companies are all discussed and ideas shared of how to cope, work through the maze, get solutions and answers.
Earlier Keanna was taking her swimming lesson in Brentwood and I watched her while Nikki exercised in a different pool nearby. Keanna is such a little imp, so full of ideas and life, what an inspiration.
I finally made it to the Stockton appraisal, the tomorrow I referred to yesterday became today finally. It was a very nice little house, 2,300 sf or so, perfect in every way, selling for just above $300,000 when a year ago it was nearly $500,000. These are pretty serious times on many levels. I've had almost no orders this week and I find myself caught up for the first time in a long time. Now I'm praying for more work. Its in God's hands really.
My faithful collection agency person, Kevin, called again today. For the first time he offered to take $4,000 in a lump sum to pay off the $16,000 bill. Unfortunately it might as well be $50,000 as I never see that large of sum of money at one time anymore. I'm thinking I need to have one session with an attorney to know what I am responsible for and what I am not responsible for before I make any agreements. A bill I am much more interested in paying is the $4,400 bill which IRS sent for the year 2005. That certainly needs to come first.
This weekend promises to have some pleasant moments. Keanna is coming for a sleep over tomorrow night and then we'll take in Sabbath School. Nikki will pick her up there and I'll stay for church and a potluck afterwards at Dick and Becky Lanza's home. Our friends the Talls are going to be in town. Keith and Marilyn have been very special friends for many years. Years ago they helped us build our first home in Tracy giving us the start we needed into home ownership. After years of a successful dental practice in Tracy they returned to Keiths native Canada and have lived there for many years now. They are very active in their church and have three wonderful children who like ours are grown and living their own lives. The last time we got to see them was a while ago, Nan was in a wheel chair and many friends met for dinner in Tracy with the Talls as they were passing through. It was a night Nan never forgot. These are the kind of people you hold dear to your hearts over the years even though you don't often get to catch up personally. I look forward to seeing them at church and the potluck afterwards.
Tonight a lady sitting across the group circle said she thought I was doing well considering that only less than 4 months have passed. Well I do believe that God is blessing with some degree of peace and acceptance, some days are tinged with sadness and loss, others are so busy and full that there is little time for reflection. I find great solice in music, like the CD that Irene arranged for me to have of worship music, glorious music and it helps to keep things in perspective. Today as I was inspecting this empty house in Stockton I found myself singing a hymn, not sure where it came from or what the neighbors thought but there I was measuring and singing. I believe that is progress and I also believe Nan would approve if she were here to do so.
Ken and I walked at 6:15 this morning, we did so in 40 degree windy weather, yes we were bundled up and this morning we stayed that way, gloves on, stocking hat in place over the ears yet the walk was great and as we rounded the final corner the sky was red with sunrise signalling a new day, a blank canvas, a time of promise.
So I wish you well this evening, Carrol is feeling better, Roger and Carol are getting the help they needed, my kids are all feeling much better than a week ago and the furnace even worked for an hour today filling the house with a new kind of warmth!
Love to all, no matter what life is precious, people do matter most and we've got more time to live....

love

tim