Keanna brightens up the scene

Dear Family and Friends,

I'm through, once again I ended up on the end of "advice" and putdowns from the leader of the grief group this evening and I'm done. I love the people that attend and I've gained much from interaction with them but I have an ongoing conflict with the leader. When Dan was in charge on Thursday nights it was always helpful and a high point of the week but when our little group broke off as a group of survivors who had lost their spouses Pastor Dan was not the leader. The leader was self appointed and is a really good guy. For some reason I feel a total lack of respect or even of basic concern from him. I waffled for quite a while tonight about going because around 6 pm I had a really bad time of coughing and the leader really hates to have me around when I cough, he's made that clear, well when one has a lingering cough for months one still would like to attend the group. As I got closer to the 7 pm time I remembered that a lady is attending who lost her husband recently and so I decided to go out of respect to her and to support her as she struggles to cope with her loss. She is a great lady.

I feel a great sense of loss at losing the group but I can't take it, to feel like my feelings or concerns are never the right ones, that I spoke out of turn. For heavens shake I taught small groups, I've led them for years, I do have some awareness of how they function. So instead of making waves that help no one I'm going to use Wednesday nights for the club from now on.

Tomorrow evening I meet Milan, she will be my personal trainer at the club. She will go over my goals, show me how to use machines and weights. 5 pm Thursday, you can be sure I will be there!

Today Keanna came to spend the afternoon and we did homework, ate red Jellos, ate popcorn, watched Clifford the big red dog, drew pictures and then it was time to drive her into Brentwood to the music class she enjoys. She is a delightful little powerhouse, never short of ideas, loves learning, challenges me to move more, listen to her. I've included one photo of her at my desk doing homework. I've also included a couple photos from Jo's latest photo sharing on the web. One shows the motorhome all setup and facing the ocean. There are some really wonderful shots of Jo with Timothy and one with Jason, Timothy and me. Photos elicit a powerful set of memories, good job Jo.

So that's it for tonight. Life has us moving forward, some forward steps, some detours, some slips and some just resting. Just now Jason called on his way home from his first lesson in Scuba, getting his certificate. They really put him through his paces and he is feeling the burn.

Good night,

love

tim