Happy Birthday Nan, we miss you

Dear Ones,
Today was Nan's 56Th birthday. She nearly made it to Christmas and then her birthday. Every year for the past several I have wondered inside if we would make Christmas and then if we would make it to her birthday.
This evening Nikki and Keanna went to Nan's graveside and sang her Happy Birthday, how very precious and how good that Keanna can stay in touch in this manner with the memories that go back for her as far as she can remember. Very brave of Nikki. Steve said he felt drawn there this morning as he took Keanna to school.
I slept poorly last night as I pondered the dental stuff this afternoon. I rose and walked the 2.5 around the lake in very cold weather, then back to shower and prepare to work this morning, then rush to Keanna's school for her chapel program and then rush back to meet Loren for a ride to the oral surgeon. The program was precious and her face lit up when she saw me across the room. Then after the program she asked if I could walk with her to her classroom, hand in hand we walked and I left her there eating her lunch which had been lovingly prepared by her mom and day. Then I went to the parking lot and sobbed, it just all became too real, the absence of Grammy at Keanna's program, how much Keanna resembles her Grammy when she was young, the birthday without the person of honor, just to much so I sobbed for a bit, Jean happened to be there to pick up files from me and she comforted me, then it was over and I moved on with the day. I tell you, sometimes the bubble rises and you just have to let it pop, then it is better again.
Loren drove me to the appointment, we were early and the door was locked. So we waited and then it was open and in 5 minutes I was settled into the chair, the IV was in, the monitors were beeping and I was gone. but I could hear every word they said, like whoops, did you mean to do that and better next time, you know gallows humor from the docs. Then they were waking me up to tell me they had not been able to put me very deep as my blood oxygen began to fall when they tried, however they did fine, I felt no pain, no suffering and only relief when they were through, well not quite through, next we went to the counter and I had to write a check from the life insurance for $1,135, ouch, I felt that. Then to the car and Loren arranged with Emily to have soup ready. What a soup! It was just right, and scrambled eggs and soft toast, and berry juice to drink, did I mention the toast had thin slices of avocado, what a feast! They even let me bring some of it home with me which I promptly opened, microwaved and had some more. Now I'm settled and heading for bed. I even built a fire this evening, Art suggested it and I did it so the house is up to a whooping 67 degrees, wow!
Today contained emotional roller coasters, high - seeing Keanna in action with the song motions memorized perfectly, low - missing Nan on her special day, frightened - sedation and surgery, relaxed - in Loren and Emily's lovely home, newly remodeled, warm and comfortable, satisfied - after the meal, safe - home at last by the fire, delighted - two more checks in the mail today, at peace knowing God is there caring and planning and watching over this precious family.
Thanks Nikki, Jason, Art, Jerry, Jan, Loree, Steve, Sylvia, Ken and LeAnn and emails from Roger and Carol, Roxanna, Sylvia, Pam, Irene, Bob and Carrol. I am not alone.
So I send my love to you this evening thanking you for helping me through another challenging day.
love

tim