Dear Ones,
Today was Nan's 56Th birthday. She nearly made it to Christmas and then her birthday. Every year for the past several I have wondered inside if we would make Christmas and then if we would make it to her birthday.
This evening Nikki and Keanna went to Nan's graveside and sang her Happy Birthday, how very precious and how good that Keanna can stay in touch in this manner with the memories that go back for her as far as she can remember. Very brave of Nikki. Steve said he felt drawn there this morning as he took Keanna to school.
I slept poorly last night as I pondered the dental stuff this afternoon. I rose and walked the 2.5 around the lake in very cold weather, then back to shower and prepare to work this morning, then rush to Keanna's school for her chapel program and then rush back to meet Loren for a ride to the oral surgeon. The program was precious and her face lit up when she saw me across the room. Then after the program she asked if I could walk with her to her classroom, hand in hand we walked and I left her there eating her lunch which had been lovingly prepared by her mom and day. Then I went to the parking lot and sobbed, it just all became too real, the absence of Grammy at Keanna's program, how much Keanna resembles her Grammy when she was young, the birthday without the person of honor, just to much so I sobbed for a bit, Jean happened to be there to pick up files from me and she comforted me, then it was over and I moved on with the day. I tell you, sometimes the bubble rises and you just have to let it pop, then it is better again.
Loren drove me to the appointment, we were early and the door was locked. So we waited and then it was open and in 5 minutes I was settled into the chair, the IV was in, the monitors were beeping and I was gone. but I could hear every word they said, like whoops, did you mean to do that and better next time, you know gallows humor from the docs. Then they were waking me up to tell me they had not been able to put me very deep as my blood oxygen began to fall when they tried, however they did fine, I felt no pain, no suffering and only relief when they were through, well not quite through, next we went to the counter and I had to write a check from the life insurance for $1,135, ouch, I felt that. Then to the car and Loren arranged with Emily to have soup ready. What a soup! It was just right, and scrambled eggs and soft toast, and berry juice to drink, did I mention the toast had thin slices of avocado, what a feast! They even let me bring some of it home with me which I promptly opened, microwaved and had some more. Now I'm settled and heading for bed. I even built a fire this evening, Art suggested it and I did it so the house is up to a whooping 67 degrees, wow!
Today contained emotional roller coasters, high - seeing Keanna in action with the song motions memorized perfectly, low - missing Nan on her special day, frightened - sedation and surgery, relaxed - in Loren and Emily's lovely home, newly remodeled, warm and comfortable, satisfied - after the meal, safe - home at last by the fire, delighted - two more checks in the mail today, at peace knowing God is there caring and planning and watching over this precious family.
Thanks Nikki, Jason, Art, Jerry, Jan, Loree, Steve, Sylvia, Ken and LeAnn and emails from Roger and Carol, Roxanna, Sylvia, Pam, Irene, Bob and Carrol. I am not alone.
So I send my love to you this evening thanking you for helping me through another challenging day.
love
tim
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
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4 comments:
This is a test so I can know what the rest of you endure as you try to leave comments.
Good boy, Tim!! You made it through the tooth procedure. I just got a new crown and what a difference as now I do not have to see that old black filling. Today was my brother's birthday, too. We remember the birthday parties you had for Nan and the birthday when she got the Jag (50th). What a gal!! Aren't grandkids just the greatest "invention"???? Yesterday we went with our LSV group to two IMAX movies then shopping at the downtown mall...all in the rain. I used the walker and got along quite well. Our bus driver, Tom, was very helpful with putting the walker on and off the bus for me. Today we took a trip to Taco Bell and the walker went along, too.
You are being so faithful with your walking. Soon I'm going out walking with the walker up and down my street. Take care. Love, Barbie
Good Morning!
Yes, it is a good morning ~ your root canal is over. It wasn't so bad. You survived. Now you can look back and see all the worry you did was for naught. Nan's birthday ~ this is an anniversary when you will remember her ~ also Christmas, anniversaries, graduations, weddings, birthdays..... Each of you grieved and remembered her in your own way. It's good for the healing process. Your life will be a roller coaster for some time yet. Expect grief to overtake you when you least expect it. Tears wash the windows of the soul.
My sisters come today! We will be celebrating the life of my Dad who is turning 93 next week and also the 3 year anniversary of his marriage to Barbara. She has been such a blessing to Dad and we love her for the joy she brings into his life. So, why do some get to live to 93 and others are snuffed out at 55? No, it isn't a fair world we live in!
Continue to take care of yourself! You are off to a great start. 2.5 miles is a good walk each day. Your body will soon demand it and you will miss it if you don't do it. I'm glad you are going ahead with the other tests. It would be wonderful to find out all is well... You family does need you!
Love ~ Carol
Hi Tim,
How well We know the Pangs of memories & Grief that come with the Dates that ment so much to those that We have lost. We are fast approaching the 9th of Feb which was Our dear Son's Birthday. We do so much look forward to the Day when We will all be together again.
Glad to read that the Dentist Visit was a success and let's hope that You have no after effects and are comfortable.
At last the rain has let up, now for some Sunshine!
My Time with the Insurance Man went well and now We wait to get the Verdict as to what they will compensate Us for Our losses. Like waiting for Lab Test results!
Clinic day is Monday for Carrol, seems like those 28 days fly by , We are hoping that the Chemo can again be put off for another month.
Choir Practice went well last evening and again We send You greetings from Glen & Joyce.
Have a good day and lets hope that Your Furnace Man can get Your Place back to WARM again!
Love You,
Bob & Carrol.
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