Kallie Shipley May 30, 2008

Hi Everyone,
What a day for our family! After Steve called and talked to Keanna and me last night they still had lots of work to do with Nikki so Steve held Kallie for hours until he finally drove home at 1:30 in the morning. Nikki and Kallie did not get lots of sleep but Nikki came through it all in very good condition. The baby is wonderful, has a strong cry, has beautiful hair, deep blue eyes and a nose like her mommy. Keanna and I rose at 7:30 this morning, had breakfast and then drove to get our first glimpse of her little highness. We picked up a balloon on the way, brought all the camera equipment, Keanna's toys our curiosity. We were so delighted with getting our first look at her. Perfectly formed, snuggled up in her blanket and in a little glass bed right in the room with Nikki. In fact when we got there Nikki was holding her, what a beautiful sight. Steve was home and would come back later after he got some rest. Jason had called to let us know they were on their way and they arrived just a few minutes after Keanna and I did. Timothy seemed intrigued by this little bundle and lots of photos were taken, many of them with better quality than the ones my old camera produces. Jo's mom Juli came too and enjoyed seeing Kallie just like the rest of us. Since everyone was hungry we went to the local UNO's for lunch. That gave Nikki a break from all of us. Nikki was up and around moving easily and feeling pretty good for the ordeal of 12 hours before. Keanna was so entranced by her sister and finally persuaded her mom and day that she needed to hold the baby so Nikki, Keanna and baby spent some time together. Very precious. As we left to go eat Nikki motioned for me to bring the baby to her, in that moment it struck me, I should not have been the one to be doing this, normally it would have been Nan doing it and it nearly broke my heart to have her miss this vitally important day. As it was Stephanie stayed with Nikki and Steve last night all through the delivery and she did not go home until all was over and things had calmed down. What a precious friend. The people from Nikki's work have been great, calling and calling to see how things were going along. I think they hardly got any work done on Friday for all the times they checked up on Nikki. Steves's friends have been great too about calling and standing by him. I enjoyed reading the many warm and most welcome messages to the blog this morning. Thank you every one.
When we all completed lunch we came back and Steve and Nikki had finished their special catered meal from the hospital cafe. They managed to lose Nikki's menu requests which was a bummer but their intention was good.
We all took pictures, I did quite a bit of video as well. Finally Keanna was tired of being good and holding still. It was also time Jason and Jo had to head home since they had a big event tonight with the Junior Class, Jason is one of the sponsors and the only one in town this weekend. So we all loaded up and left the threesome to get some rest and have peace and quiet. It was so nice to see the entire family including Julie there all at once. We really enjoyed each others company! It was a great day thanks to Kallie.
On the way home Nikki had some energy left to burn up so we stopped at McDonalds in Brentwood where they have a wonderful indoor play area and Keanna played for over an hour. We arrived home late, I made pasta and green beans and we enjoyed fresh strawberries we had found on the way home, Keanna had me go back to get them and they were locally grown, picked today. Wow are they ever good. Keanna ate many of them before I could even get dinner cooked. Then we fed the ducks and geese with stale bread and Starr managed to NOT fall in this time. Then Keanna wanted and needed a bath, feed were black from playing at McDonalds without shoes, running around here without shoes and the hospital room as well. We got her cleaned up and she told me she needed lotion so I found some of Nan's Jergens or something like that we put lotion on her arms and legs. I think it is safe to say she is fast asleep now. I started to pray and she took over thanking Jesus for Kallie, her mommy and daddy, the nurses and on and on, so cute.
I am totally beat and ready to sleep tonight. It has been a wonderful family day rich with God's blessings and bitter sweet for the lack of Nan.
Good night my friends.
Love and blessings on you,
Tim
ps
I have included a few words directly from Carol and Roger, our North Carolina friends.
Yes, Roger is home and very glad to be home. His Hgb was 8.4 this morning and they sent him home to "resume regular activity." That is what he told me anyway. I don't argue with him.... He is on an assortment of medications and goes in once a week for blood tests for awhile to be sure it is holding. Right now it's a "wait and see what happens" status. Yes, there will be choir practice Tuesday night and probably keep the choir appointment next week.

Thank you for all your support and prayers.

Carol

Almost here

Dear Family and Friends,
10:15, Keanna is settled into her bed, Nikki is 12 hours into having this baby, Steve is hold on but worried and stressed as he sees Nikki struggle and suffer.
I walked alone this morning, then quickly showered and went to collect Keanna. Steve and Nikki drove to the hospital and I brought Keanna back here for breakfast and to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. When that was over we loaded up and drove to the hospital where we found Nikki not making much progress and Steve trying to catch a few winks on a little window bed. We were there for awhile, had lunch in the cafe, Nikki had hers brought to her, Steve went for Sticky Chicken nearby. The process was started at 10 am with almost no immediate results. Keanna and I drove to CostCo but she fell asleep in her new booster seat in the van and since I was sleepy too I just parked at CostCo and went to sleep. We both slept for about an hour and then woke, went into the store and picked up a few things, watermelon, bananas, a sticker book for Keanna and some stamps. Then we drove back to the hospital and found Nikki had made some progress but was really suffering. Later Steve, Nikki and I went to find dinner, found it and then returned to be told we would have to wait, an epidural was being administered. At the same time her water broke and things began to move faster. Keanna and I hung around until about 8:45. Nikki's friend Stephanie had driven over and was prepared to spend the night with her. Between she and Steve they can given Nikki the support she needs.
Nikki is in a newly constructed birthing center with jetted tub, dvd player, excellent monitors and plenty of space to move about. She is next to the nursing station and monitors tell the nursing staff everything that is taking place with both mother and baby.
Keanna and I stopped at her home to let the doggie out and to check on things but one of Steve's friends was there already taking care of things. He was on the phone with Steve and at that point Nikki was up to a 9 which was a huge progress in the time we had driven home. As this point, 10:25, I have still not gotten a call so I'm guessing it has not happened yet.
We are blessed with a very nice place for this event to take place, well supported by medical staff and good monitoring. Both Nikki and Steve were suffering today as the pains hit, the unknown and waiting stretched out longer than they had hoped.
So here we sit, at home, comfortable and Nikki is in the midst of the battle. Talk about feeling helpless.
As usual when I know something I will blog it so you can know it too.
On a different story line, Carol reports that Roger had a better day with a hemoglobin of a solid 8 today which is up a tiny bit. They were both gratified by the progress and Roger will be released tomorrow if the blood numbers hold steady. He continues to need our prayers and support, they both do.
Good night my friends and family members, we send our love and appreciation.

Tim
Hold the phone, stop the presses. Kallie was born a few minutes ago, 7lb 12 oz, 20 inches, full head of brown hair, perfectly formed and very very loud. I heard from one very happy daddy who simply said, she is perfect, everything is perfect! Keanna had not yet fallen asleep so she was able to talk to her daddy about the baby and she was very very happy to, can we drive there right now to see the baby, pappa? I think we need to let baby and mommy sleep so we'll go in the morning. So the circle of life continues, how Nan would have treasured this evening and this new little one and that is the only note of sadness that she could not have lived long enough to hold Kallie too. Only God knows the bigger picture.
I'll send a photo out as soon as I get one in.

Kallie is coming soon.

Dear Family and Friends,
Soon our family will grow by one. Nikki and Steve are set to go to the birthing center at 9 am in the morning where Nikki will get a little help to get this process started. I'm picking up Keanna at 8 am and will have her more or less full time until Nikki comes home.
I had the privilege of taking Keanna and Nikki to dinner at Olive Garden in Tracy this evening. She called about 5 and mentioned she had been thinking about Olive Garden, would I like to go, well yes I would. We had a great time and got to see STeve for a minute before leaving for Tracy. The food was great and afterwards I went to the grief group for a bit. They have become like family and I wanted to check up them to discover how they were doing. We all face challenges but it seems some of the group have things tough right now in their battle to survive cancer. Our leader is about as good as it gets. He is funny, in charge and does an excellent job of letting people speak their feelings and fears as well as their joys.
This morning I went to Stockton to see a place. They let me know that right after I left they had to go to a funeral, a family member had been murdered. So many troubles, so much hurting. Oh Lord help me to cause peace and love, not to cause suffering and pain. Unwind my tight spring that goes off when someone drives strange in front of me or someone is at a light too long or is driving too slow. Lord help me love people like you do, I have so far to go before that is true.
Thank you tonight Lord for this precious new little baby girl who will add to the joy of belong to this family, thank you for such wonderful and perfect gifts, our grandchildren.
This afternoon blessed with a cool breeze I tackled measuring a huge house. It is reported to be over 4,700 SF. Yet it was disappointing in its execution. For such a fine and large home one would expect a certain standard of quality but it seemed that there were so many areas where the house was just average. I was disappointed again and again as I did my inspection. Yes the house was large and it did have 5 bedrooms, 5 and 1/2 bathrooms, a point setting with a huge deck and dock but I could understand why it is selling for less than many smaller homes have sold for.
I walked alone this morning and it seemed to be so far around, having a walking mate certainly helps but Ken is in Reno and Loree is very busy with her lovely daughters.
I hope to have good news by the time I blog again, news about a precious little ladies arrival.
Please keep Roger in your prayers. His hemoglobin held today at 7.7 and Carol says his lips and skin color are much improved. The medical experts continue to treat him and solve the problems he faces. How we love these two people. Meanwhile Bob's mom in Lodi has fallen and has several medical problems including a broken arm. They have been busy moving her to a new facility which is have a higher level of care. She is in her 90s and has lived an amazing life. She and the family need our prayers as they all face this tough time.
Good night my friends and family,
love

tim

The lady waits..........

Dear Family and Friends,
9:05, fascinating day! Let me tell you about it. First off Nikki and Steve are still waiting for Kallie to arrive. Now we are all hoping for Friday since we will be sort of caught up with things by then. I've included a photo of Nikki and one of Keanna at tumbling classes last evening.
This morning as I talked to God after I woke up instead of the usual shopping list of wants and requests, you know checks in the mail, more orders, favorable lenders, lose weight.... well I decided to make an offer, how can I help you today God, well it was a new thought, here is what has happened during the day. I met a lady who cares for her mom at the Santa Clara house. She not only cares for her 84 year old mom who is a bit cranky and is losing her mind but also holds down a full time nursing position, I was able to talk to her caregiver to caregiver and she is about to break, little sleep, total care of her mom who is pretty ill. So we talked about getting help and about finding escape at times for mental sanity. It was very worthwhile. As I left the phone rang and it was someone needing a different kind of help as a result of an ongoing divorce, the lady was in tears and despair, hopefully I can help but at least I was able to remind her gently that things will get better, that a new day is coming and that things will work out. I also got to talk directly to Roger and Carol in N. Carolina. Roger's situation continues to be serious. In spite of 2 units of blood he only got a bounce of a point, up from 6.9 to 7.9 and by this afternoon it has slipped back to 7.8. However the liver is doing much better and Carol says his skin color has improved. This special guy really needs our prayers and positive thoughts. Typical Roger, he wanted to find out how I was doing, I was amazed.
So my friends, beware of what you pray for, if you offer to help God He just might take you serious and bring you into contact with people who need help.
I also want to express appreciation for some special help that has come my way financially. Without going into it fully I can just say that at a point of pretty hefty need some funds came through arriving today that will help a great deal, its been a slow pay month. Thanks so much for your help.
So good night my friends and family, you are certainly a very special group who demonstrates Jesus in so many different ways. I feel very honored to have such a fine family and friends. This evening Jason called and he, Jo and Jo's mom were just chilling out with Timothy, he was talking up a storm and they were having a very nice family moment. I appreciated their sharing it with me. I also got to spend time with Keanna and Nikki this evening, what a blast to see Nikki and Keanna hug and play together. That my friends is what life comes down to, its good.

love

tim

Roger needs our prayers

Good evening,
I've only been home for a little while and when I opened my emails I found one from Carol. Roger is in the hospital and has quite a battle on his hands.

Here is how Carol laid out his condition in her own words, "Sunday night we were talking and decided that he could not wait until Tuesday! We went to Mission ER and after an EKG, 3 blood draws, an ultra sound, x-ray, CT scan they still didn't know what's wrong with him. His hemoglobin was 7.4 ~ normal is 13 - 14. He was admitted in St. Joseph's Hospital and they told him he would be there for at least a couple days. He has been diagnosed with Autoimmune Hemolytic Anemia. In simple terms ~ his bone marrow is producing enough red blood cells, but his body is destroying them. The high Bilirubin is from the overloading the liver trying to filter out the destroyed red cells. He is getting 125mg steroid shots every 8 hours. They were monitoring his blood count and hoping The steroids will slow down the destruction and his body will regenerate the red blood cells. The Dr. came in this afternoon and said after 24 hours the red blood count is not going up as yet.

Last night his hemoglobin was 7.1 this a.m. it was 6.8. This afternoon they gave him 2 units of blood. They will check his
hemoglobin in the morning to see how he's doing. The new blood should bring it up to at least 10. Then we have to see if his body will accept it or reject it. He will be in the hospital at least another day depending on how his body responds.

Roger feels good as long as he doesn't move around very much. We are looking forward to having him feel stronger and more alive tomorrow after the new blood. It's a strange disease!

We thank you all for your prayers and concerns."

Personally I am in shock. Like most people Roger faces some ongoing health issues but this is new and they both certainly need our prayers. I know from experience that the new blood will provide an almost immediate lift but the real question is, will his body give it a chance or will it try to tear down the new blood?

I've had a big day and got to pay $5.07 a gallon for diesel this afternoon. I saw three properties today and like usual enjoyed meeting the owners. I am thankful for a safe day of travel and the little car ran perfectly once again. Yes the grill is still in place in spite of hitting branches in the trail, tall grass on a little road to get to one of the comps and a couple bumps on concrete parking strips.

This afternoon work ended as I slipped in late to observe Keanna at tumbling class and talk with Nikki. She is doing fine and invited me home for dinner at their place tonight. Yummy white corn, perfect spaghetti, mushrooms and sauce.

Good night my friend, my family. Dana confirmed her travel plans for a week from Thursday which really give us all something to look forward to. Keanna can hardly wait to see Anthony who is coming with Dana. Should be fun.

love

tim
ps prayers and best wishes for Roger this evening.

Laboring on labor day

Dear Family and Friends,
10:15 pm, no baby news yet from Nikki and Steve and a quiet day for me. AFter yesterday with the deck cleaning, the flower planting and the trip to town I decided today needed to be a get serious about work day. So I've turned out 5 appraisals today, written and emailed to the lenders. When I do get up from the chair I am so stiff I can hardly move. Late this afternoon the neighbors invited me to take a little ride in their electric boat around the lake. The weather was perfect and I enjoyed seeing the progress so many have made with their lake side yards, decks and retaining walls. As soon as I got back I went right back to work again and was able to complete yet another appraisal.
Tomorrow I'm back out seeing properties, two in the Sacramento / Loomis area and then one back here close to home at the end of the day. The next day I will be out again seeing properties in Pittsburg and Santa Clara. I feel very blessed to have work to do again.
I've really missed Nan today, this is the kind of day which she turned into a pleasant event. She would always come up with an idea, something fun to do or eat or drink or watch. She was the sparkplug for fun in our lives together. I am so glad that I got to enjoy her all the years that I did. No one wants a great party to come to an end or a wonderful concert or a touching movie, that's where I am now, the perfect party ended too soon, the life concert was cut short before the final numbers called the senior years. Will there ever be a reprieve? Who knows and I don't spend a great deal of time in worry over that part.
I'm very thankful for all the good components of the life our family has had, many have been outstanding and have created such memories that we will never forget.
I am in awe of the many people I know who have been living their lives alone for years and making it work. I find little joy in being alone, I love to interact with friends and family. I can't begin to tell you how excited I am to have Anthony and Dana coming in about a week. I can hardly wait for the fun, the thrill of having someone around who loves to live and generates such excitement. I can also hardly wait to hold Kallie. We are pretty sure it will be this week sometime.

I am feeling very good, Ken and I walked this morning later than usual and had a good quick trip. I've had lots of good things today, griller, wheat buns, tomato's, baked beans, brown rice, fresh peach, oatmeal and some hot drinks along the way.

So this evening I want to thank you once again for your love and for your zest for life. Keep it up and perhaps I can catch up with you at some point.

Love

tim

BBQ with the neighbors

Dear Family and Friends,
What an interesting day. Ken and I walked to start things off, then knowing that they were having a party this afternoon I decided I needed to clean up the back deck. So I set to work. All the trash, dead plants, dirt had to go. Tonight things look a lot different. I got so inspired that I drove to Lowes and purchased several colorful flowers, some potting soil, came home and planted them adding a touch of color to the three levels of deck.
Several times during the day I stopped to talk to our new neighbors to the west. They are great people, have a new lab puppy and really know how to enjoy the lake. They have done wonders to the little house. Well this afternoon we were talking again and they were tossing cookies to Starr and Lady and trimming the tree that is between our homes, he suggested that I move the BBQ to a different place on the deck and one thing led to another and soon we were seeing if the BBQ was working and I had grillers cooking and they brought burgers and we ended up eating and watching the sun set over the island. He really knows his way around a BBQ. They are both really looking forward to Dana and Ronnie and Marilyn and anyone else who manages to visit this summer. We had a really enjoyable time and got to witness something very sudden and very startling. Starr realized that a person was passing by fishing for bass in a small boat. Since she had the run of the entire yard today, not just confined to the upper decks she raced down to the dock and didn't stop soon enough, she slid right into the water, splash and disappeared. We I raced down since I was not sure she could manage the water. Others nearby could see her under the dock and could see that she was swimming toward land, well she did and pulled herself up and out, shook off the water and was very shocked at what she had done. I chased her down with a towel and dried her off some. She was very surprised as this has never happened before in her life. Of course she begged for food as we were sitting around the table eating and now she is sitting in the recliner with me sleeping and drying off and making some very foul smells as a result of all the cookies and meat she has eaten today.
So a very dreary day turned out to be a very positive one. Ken and LeAnn invited me over to their party but I had intended to work all day. Well I did but it was just not all computer work, it turned out to be hard physical work but the deck looks so much better now all around.
I hope your weekend is going well and that you are enjoying your family. What a blessing to live in this amazing country, to bask in freedom even as our young men and women fight to keep us free of an enemy that wants us dead. Sobering yet very gratifying as well. There is no place like America.

love to all

Tim

Keanna goes to Sabbath School

Dear Family and Friends,
11:50 where has the evening gone?
Ken and I walked this morning, cool and breezy, Loree took the weekend off. The a quick oatmeal breakfast, then pick up Keanna and drive to Tracy for an on time arrival at Sabbath School. Keanna starts off with shy moments but warms to the program as the time passes. Great program, few kids today.
Then we stopped for a kids meal at Burger King and she played her heart out on the slides in the restaurant. Finally she said it was time to go and we drove home. What a privilege it is to have a 5 year old child who thinks you can do no wrong. I tell you its a lift and I love her topics of conversation, this morning it was about turn signals and why they are important, about brake lights, speed limits, police, why there was no sun, where rain comes from.
I was sleepy and upon arriving home I napped in the chair while flipping between the three channels on the Christian Dish. There were several phone calls during the afternoon and I really was glad to get to talk to Jan in Denver, she needs our prayers, her life has been tough lately. Then Sharon called to say her Sabbath had gone well. I spoke to Jason and Jo at different times and they were enjoying strawberry shortcake, I almost drove down when I heard that! Art called to report he and Connie have returned from Spain, that they were very tired after sleeping very little last night and were heading to bed. I was especially touched to hear from Julie Vogel Cronkite who has a special way with listening and understanding. I hope to talk to her more as the days unfold.
This evening I installed a trailer hitch on the van. Since selling the Fiero last fall I've had no way of moving the boat around and as I really enjoy taking people for boat rides now I have a way of launching it again. Once I got into it I found the installation to be amazingly simple and direct. It feels good to be able to tackle tasks again as something like that little job last fall would have done me in and now it is nothing. The daily walking is really paying off and I thank the people who have encouraged me to stick with me and helped as well.
This evening I had vegetable soup and earlier I had a tomato sandwich. I do miss having someone with good menu suggestions. Nan was great with meal plans. She kept it interesting.
So now its midnight, my eyes are very tired and its time to hit the sack.
What will the coming week present? The most important item on the agenda, a new little baby Kallie, I can't wait for the adventure and the arrival. What an exciting time, a new human being, an important part of the family, a new gift from God.
So my friends, lets do our best to enhance each others lives this week, to build happiness and success.
Love

tim

Moments of extreme joy

Dear Fellow Life Travelers,

10:15. Weather has turned cool and pleasant. Dogs are sleeping at my feet after being overjoyed at my return.
The day has been a mix with some success and some less productive time. Loree and I walked briskly around the lake this morning in the cool weather, then I gave her checks that had come in to deposit. I worked for awhile but fell asleep, the night was too short and the warm room too comfortable. Then orders and emails began to come in. Finally I had some breakfast and a shower and then back to work again. As I began to set up orders I found that we were out of folders again. I did some scheduling but am fully aware that a baby is coming soon and some appointments will have to be moved about so I can help with Keanna and be supportive to Nikki and Steve. Now I have new orders in Sacramento, Loomis, Santa Clara, Martinez, Stockton and yes one even in Discovery Bay. My excellent writer is vacationing in Europe so it has given me the challenge of writing up each full appraisal as well as seeing the property. Its a good challenge.
Today's mail brought another check for services rendered. At $450 a pop those really help cover things and yes late last night I did make the house payment. I don't have it quite covered yet but I will my Tuesday when it will be processed by the bank.
A lender decided they wanted a photo of the bathroom of a home we did several weeks ago so at 6:30 I decided I needed to get out and do something. I drove to Brentwood to shoot the bathroom photos and the phone rang, it was Nikki who had just dropped off Keanna at a sleep over, she was hungry so we met at Staples for folders and then UNO's for excellent dinner. She is doing so well and is looking forward to baby Kallie's arrival.
Then it was back home to the dogs greeting. The grill of my bug is still holding fast and looks very normal even after hitting what ever was in the freeway last night, no tire damage that I can find or body damage either. From time to time close friends call and sometimes have sage advice. I've been in neutral for so long about cleaning up the house, starting to sort my clothes, even folding the clean laundry and with Dana coming this place needs to be shaped up a bit, from back deck to front yard. A friend suggested that I use some holiday time on Monday to sort out shirts I really don't like or don't wear anymore and move them on to others making room for those I really do like to wear. Its great advice and I intend to act on it. Also the stair chair needs to be sold. Its nearly a whole house payment and I just need to get the word out, someone needs it and we need to connect.
This morning at 11 was a highlight of my life. Keanna and her class had prepared to sing a song to their fathers. Steve was in the middle of a huge landscaping job that had him muddy and dirty from head to toe so I went in his place. Every child had a father or grandfather there except for one little girl. She was in tears even though they explained her daddy had called in and was stuck in traffic and would arrive soon. Keanna tried to comfort her but to no avail. I was so glad I was there for Keanna. I've included a few photos of our time together in the play area behind the school. What a blast and its so much fun to see her in action. Yes today I knew I was able to meet a real need and when I came in she was so excited, she had me come sit in a tiny chair right in the front row near her. The song was so cute and I've included the banner that is the name of the song as well.
So good night my friends, Its Sabbath School for Keanna and me tomorrow.

love

tim

A long windy day

Dear Ones,
Midnight and I'm finally home from a very long day. This morning the wind kept waking me as it was so violent and loud. At 6 I called Loree to tell her to just roll over and stay in bed, the winds were just to high to walk safely. I accomplished as much as I could in the office and then left at 11 for Rocklin. I encountered high winds, weaving vehicles, slow traffic and flying objects as I made my way up Freeway 5. I finally hooked up with Barb and Gerry at a Taco Bell just off the freeway and enjoyed a brief time with them and was able to pass along two different devices to sooth ones feet that Nan used. The I rushed to the first appointment in Rocklin where I found a beautiful home and nearby comparables. Then a short commute over to Antelope to see another perfect home and nearby comparables as well. Then it was time to head to Lodi for a quick dinner and the graduation service for the Joshua.
Afterwards I ran into Pam and she had not eaten since lunch so we first tried Coco's but they had closed to we tried Applebees and she finally got to eat and relax a bit after a very full day at her school. Joshua was so cute as he brought flowers to his parents and grandparents and received many awards for achievements. It was enjoyable to see Donna (who provided the 3ABN dish I enjoy for christian programming) and Mike who was the contractor on the house I live in.
More work has come in but not all is well, payments and checks have been extremely slow this week. For the first time ever I am late on my house payment and that is not one to mess around with. I believe enough money came in today to allow me to make an online payment to the loan company in the morning. A new problem I am facing is some lenders have restricted their approval lists for appraisers and are not allowing some of us to renew our approval with them. For example I found out this evening as I read my emails just now that the one I saw in Rocklin is going to a lender who has refused to renew my approval with them, they say, we have enough appraisers so the list is closed. That is an issue I intend to begin praying about tonight. I really need God's help on this one.
I'm very thankful to be home safely tonight. On the way home in the darkness I hit something with the right front tire. I have no idea what it was and I never even saw it but I sure felt it as the car lurched over it.
I finally completed the "boring" book I have been listening to. I think it is called the wolf at the table. All through the book the main character tries to catch his fathers attention, to experience his love and the book reveals an incredibly cruel father including his last act on his death bed, he refused to say anything to his son even while praising his older rebellious son. While it is a very dark book it really illustrates how much we crave the approval of our parents and short of receiving it we live dysfunctional lives. A wise counselor has said, "until we forgive our parents for their mistakes we cannot be emotionally healthy". I remember holding my father in my arms for the first time ever as his little body ravished by cancer was failing and telling him I forgave him for things he thought he had failed me in. The truth was, he had failed me at some crucial points in my young life but the same could certainly be truthfully said about crucial times in my own children's lives when I failed them too. How I value them and appreciate their forgiveness and acceptance of me now. I may not deserve their love but I certainly appreciate and treasure it.
And so another long day has drawn to a close for us all.
love

tim

A safe working day

Dear Family and Friends,
Thank you for caring enough to read this blog night or morning after morning. It really makes my day when I hear someone say, oh I read it every day or I would not miss it. That always amazes me that you care that much. Thanks

Loree, Ken and I walked this morning at 6:25 and the pace was blistering. To other people this would be running, not to these two who go go go. We all enjoyed our time and having three makes the trip seem almost effortless. Got to say Loree adds a lot to the walk and she says she likes it, I can't believe she can fit it in with all the stuff she has to do all day for her family and work. I'm not complaining.

Oatmeal, banana, toast with light peanut butter, research for the day using data sources and then fix a couple conditions. Then it was past time to leave for Benicia. The trip was quick and effortless, the weather was cool and my book is slightly less boring now. The home in Benicia was a sale. As we became acquainted I learned the seller had lost her husband a year ago and had reconnected with a friend from the teen years through internet and they had just been married. He lives in Conn. so she has sold her home and is moving there. It was a lovely home and had a great backyard too. Price was right and she is ready and anxious to make the drive across the country to her new life. It was encouraging.

Then I drove to Centerville, a condo project in Rohnert Park to take photos of a unit that has just been purchased. Then back to Martinez to get a thermometer for the fish tank, arrive early for the last appraisal appointment of the day. This evening I had dinner with a friend, I introduced her to grillers which she prepared on the BBQ along with ears of corn and we enjoyed sitting in the back yard in the breezes and discussing how both our businesses are in tough times, she is in real estate and I know her from doing appraisals for homes she has bought or sold over the years. What a challenge it is right now to keep ones head up with so little work to do. Some experts say we have reached the bottom of the market while others say two more years of misery.

Nikki called this afternoon to let me know that she is nearing the birth of Kallie. It could be a week yet but it won't be long. We are all so excited and anxious. Keanna's TB test turned out to be OK, good news.

I have been expecting some checks from clients since last Friday and they are still not here. I don't understand what the hold up is, they both mailed them days ago, I could use them NOW. I just don't understand why the post office takes so long, one was mailed right here in Discovery Bay.

I reported in to Loren today on the success of the grill rebuild for the bug. After driving hundreds of miles today it is still in place and perfect tonight. At 542 miles today I needed diesel. Two places had it at 4.98 a gallon so I drove a bit and found it for 4.93 a gallon. It cost an amazing $65 to fill the bug with 13 gallons. I am in shock. I'm so blessed to have the bug with its 43 miles per gallon, can you imagine if I had to drive other cars I have owned which barely got 20.

So I leave you this evening with a reminder, to find a reason to smile, to even laugh, to sing a bit (yes that means you George), to rejoice in something. I thank God for friends and for the tremendous lift the camp out gave me. I'm sure it was a great help to others as well. There is something very special that happens when the church family gets together out in nature, it seems to bring the best out in people. What a blessing to belong to a family like that.

love to all,

Tim

Still adjusting, working hard

Dear Family and Friends,

9:50 and a very successful day overall. Walked with Loree at 6:30 and that girl can boogie, I could hardly keep up. Then back to shower, oatmeal breakfast and settle down to clear the desk. Finally by noon I could start to write reports having set up 8 new orders, located about 75 to 90 miles away, everyone of them it seems. Tomorrow its Benicia at 10, then Rohnert Park, then back to Walnut Creek for a 4 pm appointment. Thursday it will be Stockton for a relo, then Rocklin at 1 and Antelope at 4. I hope to be able to make it back to Shawn Want's sons 8th grade graduation at 7 in Lodi. Friday I have no work scheduled yet but will have to begin to write some of these up. At 11 on Friday Keanna and her class will sing a special song for Fathers day and I plan to be there to enjoy it. Of course all of this can change if little Kallie decides to arrive early. So far she is doing her time where she is supposed to be and Nikki is feeling pretty good but very tired. Hard to sleep, hard to eat, hard to move really.

Today has also been a success in the kitchen. I purchased some potatoes after reading in the Dean Ormish book that if the potato is cooked and eaten without tons of extra stuff that it is basically good food, so I timidly approached the microwave having no idea of how long to bake the lonely little potato. Well right there on the door was a reference to a potato and a power button and after 7 minutes that potato was great, smothered in no fat cottage cheese. I also tried my hand at cooking some corn, into the water went two little ears and I just guessed about the time. They were great! When I got hungry today I ate a banana, a peach, some strawberries.

This evening after observing Keanna at tumbling class I decided it was time to tackle another body and fender repair of the bugs grill. It came home last night literally dragging on the ground. So without my faithful wonder worker Loren I decided to try a fix. I drilled a few holes in the bug and with some carefully placed plastic ties I managed to get it all back into place, it looks great and feels fairly strong, I think good for a few more weeks.

I'm listening to a book right now which is so boring the dashboard tends to go to sleep. I bought it and I'm determined to finish it but there is no drama, only a man talking about his terrible father and childhood, I keep waiting for something to happen, action you know, well so far very little action. Just now the mother who is a ding a ling has brought her 8 year old son home a doll house. This is to replace the guinea pig the dad killed by neglect. I fear no good will come of the relationships in that sad household. I only have 4 more CDs to listen to before the book mercifully ends. I tell you Joyce, this is no masterpiece.

Well enough rambling of a demented mind. I'm feeling better each day without the veramyst allergy stray. If you are enjoying life too much and want a real downer I recommend the Veramyst spray. Yes it does stop allergies too.

I've included a few photos of Keanna in action this afternoon.

Love to all

Tim

Another day, another dollar

Dear Family and Friends,
9 pm and I'm tired. This has been a busy day and I'm most thankful for safety in the travel involved. Ken and I walked at 7, then I washed my very dirty car, then shower and breakfast, then final research and an on time departure for Rancho Cordova. Nice little unit, then lunch at a nearby Spaghetti Factory. Too much food! Had to leave some on the plate. Then set the GPS for Oakdale. It was a beautiful 4.6 acre property with horses, pastures, Spanish home, lots of shade trees, delightful owner, even gave me a propel to drink, not bad for 20 calories. Then I found the 6 comps and headed home. On the way home a quick stop for food, fresh berries, peaches, corn, bananas, whole wheat buns, fat free milk, drinking water, then home to discovery two checks in the mail. They are really needed and I'm really grateful for them. Then a quick griller for dinner with a fresh tomato, then to the office to discover several orders have come in today. Note their locations, Walnut Creek, Rocklin, Sonoma, Rohnert Park, Antelope. So more travel in the next few days. At least this will not be a dry week with no work, praise our heavenly Father.
I had the nice opportunity to talk to Sylvia today, let me tell you that lady stays busy, between conference business, local church, local library, two mothers, like she says, she hardly ever has time to just sit and eat Bomboms. She said I sounded more like myself again. It was at her suggestion that I stopped using Veramyst every day just to see if it would help with depression, well I think as a combo of the weekend trip and spending time with my friends and removing the myst from my daily routine I am feeling much better and more hopeful and human again.
Nikki is continuing to do well as the time for Kallie's arrival draws near. She was able to work from home today which was a great help, no trip to Livermore and back. Keanna had tests in preparation for attending kindergarten, not so much fun!
I certainly want to send a special thank you to all those on the campout who were so nice to me. It was a great lift to my spirits.

Last evening I received a call from Dr. Duerkson. He and his wonderful wife Rosemarie have been such a help and inspiration to us over the years. They have been true friends and it was a very special privilege to get a chance to talk for a few minutes. They are now retired and have moved from a beautiful Frank Lloyd Wright home in West Covina to Priestlake Idaho. Nan always looked forward to making the trip up to see them in their new home but she was never quite strong enough to handle the travel. In life sometimes a person taking a real interest in another person can be a huge help in troubled times. Duerkson's have been such a help to our family and to me personally. Perhaps you are about to be called on to be a special friend to someone, it may take your time and energy but if God is guiding you to be there for someone answer the call. Over the years our lives have been touched by several people at crucial times, their care has made a huge difference in our lives.

So I'm thankful for life itself, for precious children and for a circle of friends that just keeps enhancing and helping.

With love,

tim

So sorry for the lapse

Good Evening,
I tried, I really did. I borrowed a car Friday night and drove 7 miles up a winding road to a point where my cell phone kicked in and worked well but the data card in the laptop with Sprint could not find a signal at all. After an hour of searching I finally had to admit defeat, something I very much do not like to do. Pam was kind enough to add a message to the Thursday posting but I'm not sure how many of you noticed that. Thanks Pam for trying.
Dave and I drove to the lake on Friday with a stop in Waterford for a subway sandwich and some groceries. The day was hot and we took our time reaching our campsite in the early afternoon. We quickly set up the motorhome which meant positioning it, plugging in the electrical power, hooking up to the water supply, putting out the awning and the carpet and the pug welcome mat. we even set up the BBQ which attached to the side of the motorhome. Then we used the leveling system to raise the front of the coach so the frig would be sort of level. The system had not been used in two years and we would find out later that was probably not a good idea. We went up and talked to others in the group for awhile and when I went back to check on the doggies I found the AC had quit and the interior temp was 103. Starr was in distress so I quickly put ice cubes in her water and then took both of them to the lake which was filled with very cold water. For the first time ever Starr waked right into the lake up to her tummy and stayed in the water for a very long time. After a few minutes she shopped panting and started enjoying life again.
There is a wonderful fact of life, the Tracy Church Family has a whole lot of varied talent. Well the crew descended on the motorhome and while I was planning on driving home Dave and the others started working. One PG&E man had a meter and checked the line voltage at the plugin. It was just 97 volts when it needed to be 115 or more. The drop in voltage caused the AC to overhead its motor and quit. Soon Rod and Joyce discovered the same things was happening to their trailer AC. The crew checked the voltage on a little plug beside the main 30 amp one and found it was full voltage so we plugged in there and it never failed again. We did discover that when it was 103 outside it was about 85 inside at best. RV's just don't cool down that well. Ron and Phyllis did as well as anyone by using small fans as well as roof cooling units. We often found the group to be gathering in their coach enjoying their cool hospitality.
I cannot begin to describe how meaningful the weekend was to me personally. As Nan got more and more ill we were unable to go on the campouts as they were held for about the last two years. How Nan loved to enjoy the Tracy people, to make her famous Sam's chicken, her oatmeal patties or her cottage cheese loaf. The motorhome is still full of her cooking devices which allowed her to make anything while we were on the road. To get to spend casual time just sitting and watching the lake, to wade out in the cold water to find relief from the heat, to fellowship around meal after meal with an amazingly wide variety of foods, fruits, water vegetables, real vegetables. So good, so special. On Sabbath Morning Dave cooked breakfast for us, eggs, potatoes, good cold milk. Dave had insisted we buy another pack of water and we drank water constantly the entire time. The frig kept things frozen, cold and safe, he used the cook top for the first time in about 2 years, the oven, the microwave.
On a Tracy SDA Campout a very special thing happens, some people live in tents, some in trailers, some in motorhomes and some drive in for the day. For a brief time people can watch each others kids, nap, talk, read, tell stories, remember past trips, take walks, start new friendships, keep an eye on each other so the sun burns can be avoided. This special group of God's children are non judgmental, talented, accepting, sharing and caring. The old learn from the young, the young get to rub shoulders with the middle aged, we sing, we pray, we worship and mostly we relax in God's great outdoors. Yes it was hot and even miserable at times, was it worth it, a thousand times yes. And a special thanks to Dick and Becky Lanza for keeping these trips going year after year. They work, they build people, they create memories and they make life more worth living. Thank you to each and every one that was there and a special thanks to Dave for being such a good co pilot and friend.
This afternoon when we decided it was time to head home we pulled in the awning, folded our carpet, secured the interior of the motorhome and I pushed the button for the auto levelers to lift and secure. Of the 4 three folded away and one refused to budge. Over and over we tried, Dave finally had me drive forward onto some blocks and then manually forced the errant one to fold up. It is still not working right but we were able to hit the road without further incident.
The dogs were happy to get home, I was invigorated, mowed the lawn, rolled the trash can out for a pickup, emptied the motorhome and then parked it, picked up the bug and did an appraisal, the order had come in while I was gone. How exciting, to be greeted with a COD order upon arrival home. Wow!
It felt very strange to have no cell phone or laptop the entire weekend. I thought about Nikki, Steve, Keanna and baby Kallie wondering if she might come early. But they are fine, her room is absolutely beautiful and totally ready for her arrival, Keanna's rooms is splendid, those kids have done so much work in the past few days, I was just amazed.
And so another week begins, are you as excited about facing the week as I am. I even have two appraisals to do tomorrow, one in Rancho Cordova and then right next door (not) in Oakdale, yes there will be a bit of driving involved and yes Diesel is now nearly $4.50 a gallon but with 43 miles per gallon it is still very much worth it.
Thank you for allowing me a two day lapse in blog writing. There was nothing I could do, no service at the little store, no town nearby and all the friends assured me the readers would understand.
I've included a couple photos of some of the group. I suppose there was nearly 40 people there for Sabbath lunch, perhaps more.
Sending slightly sunburned wishes for a good week to everyone.

Love

tim
ps I got to talk to Jo as I was pouring gas at CostCo this afternoon. Baby Timothy is adjusting to sharing his room with Julie his grandma. He is certainly giving her lots of chances to bond with him. What a special little guy he is.

IRS makes its power known, sure makes my day!

Dear Family and Friends,
After a week of extreme ups and downs I was shocked to discover that our friendly IRS had seized my accounts at the bank taking all the money I was building to make the house payment. At first it seemed overwhelming and it seemed like just another blow to an already very shaky world I find myself living in. Little work, multiple bills and now this. After a brief 40 minute wait to speak to someone at the IRS I found a human, she was very helpful, told me how much the fishing trip had netted them and gave me until July 14 to find the other $3,500, no problem, I'll just work harder, wait, there is little work to do.. my main client has not generated a new loan in 5 weeks so everyone on his team is in a panic, another client checked in today to tell me she had not forgotten me, just had not done a loan in "months". Yet an order did come in this afternoon. Heather, our Brentwood appraiser, got an order but did not want to travel to Oakdale so referred to me. To me Oakdale is like next door, less than an hour away. I even have comps, not 4, not 2 but the vital 3 I need and they are current. So hopefully on Monday I can see it along with a noon appointment in Rancho Cordova to see a condo and I'm back in business for the day.
I've just come from the grief group which has grown to be a very large group now. There is a variety of ages, conditions, situations, temperaments but the group really pulls together for every ones good. It is loud, funny, tearful, emotional and very helpful. There are three guys who I especially look to. One lost his dear wife a year ago, another about 15 months and I'm not sure about the third. They talk lovingly about their kids, grand kids, share their experiences and what they do to make it through mothers day, birthdays, a lonely house, vacations alone, etc.
I have mixed feelings about this weekend, its the first Tracy campout I've ever gone on without Nan and we've been a part of dozens of campouts over the years. Tracy has a wonderful group of flexible people who love to camp, love to socialize, fish, play games, eat and just get together. How will I fit in? Fortunately Dave Hardesty is going with me and he has been alone for years too, we will make it a good time and we leave in the morning. I am in hopes that I have a signal so i can blog tomorrow night. I'll try very hard to get it out as its become something I enjoy doing. We are going to Lake McSwain, 94 miles from here and tomorrow promises to be a warm one again. Camping is less fun in the heat but there is the lake and central air conditioning in the motorhome too, that should help.
How are you doing lately. I appreciate hearing from you and I know you are busy. I so enjoyed hearing from my kids today, Timothy was learning to say Dada and getting ready for grandma Julie to arrive tomorrow afternoon. Keanna is looking forward to cousin Anthony coming in about two weeks with Aunt Dana.
So good friend, fellow family member, thanks for your love and prayers. Losing Nan was the hardest thing I have ever had to cope with and it is taking longer to adjust than I imagined yet never a day goes by that I do not remember how precious and brave she was, how lucky and blessed I was to have her as my own.

love

tim

Women make the world go round...

Dear Family and Friends,
This morning started at 6 am. When I went to bed it was very warm so I used no covers. Starr was thrown off her routine and kept trying to find covers to climb under so much so that at midnight I turned on the room air and used covers, Then she settled down. I bounded out the door expecting to walk to Loree's house which is a few blocks away and found her and Harley, the family dog, just walking up all smiles and ready to go. I was shocked as I was doubtful she could even pull herself out of bed at that time of morning. Well I was wrong. We walked and talked and how nice it was to quickly make the turn around the lake with her. She even made the air smell good with her light perfume, I don't remember the last time Ken's perfume made the air smell good! Loree is even up to walking again tomorrow morning, wow am I blessed or what.
After coming home, having oatmeal and banana, a shower and settling in at my computer Sylvia called. Her call was at the exact right moment as on the screen of the computer I had accidentally opened a file with a photo of Nan resting under our pink blanket, cheeks red with a light fever and a peaceful expression on her face. It just hit me really hard and Sylvia was very helpful at that moment. These emotional bursts can sure come on quickly and then they are gone again. As always Sylvia had some very good suggestions regarding beginning to work through sharing some of Nan's beautiful clothes with others and with reinforcements arriving soon a plan is beginning to form. Thank you Sylvia and yes the day did get better.
Foolish me, I've been letting a simple thing slip by, drinking the water with lemon I love so much. So I just decided that today I needed to drink the water and by afternoon I felt much better, more alert. I'm also going to take a short vacation from the Veramyst to see if it might be causing some of the recent depression. Sylvia's idea and a very solid one.
By noon today I had completed the tough appraisal of the very fine home in Brentwood and emailed it away to the bank, then I turned to other items that needed attention. Making a simple appointment for a tiny condo in Rancho Cordova has turned into a big deal and now the earliest I can see it is a week from tomorrow. That was a setback. Tonight my desk is somewhat clearer than it was this morning. I just stayed at the computer working with times out for a healthy lunch, salad with added tomato (how do does one dice a tomato for a salad), cut up carrots. I also had green beans and some V8 juice. Then this evening I had a peach, peanut butter toast with applesauce and some wheat thins (low fat of course).
Once when I was in the kitchen to grab frozen shrimp for the fish tank I saw nothing but red over the lake, a fiery sunset was taking place so I grabbed the camera and I think you will see it was very beautiful.
Another woman who made my day today was Nikki. She continues to amaze me. She went to exercise classes tonight with less than 2 weeks before her due date. She said she had a hard time keeping up, well no wonder. She also reported little Kallie was poking her with an elbow and a knee at the same time. Probably sounds more humorous that it feels. Jason also called today to bring me up to date. Jo's mother Julie is arriving on Friday for a month and of course Jason is having mother in law jitters, just like I used to have when Mema, nan's mother would arrive. They are wonderful and a huge help but it does bring change to the home as well. They are all looking forward to her arrival. Jason and Jo are attempting to teach Timothy to sleep all night and are having mixed success so far. He is such a little charmer, smiles like a imp sometimes. My favorite when he pulls himself up against the back sliding door and then begins to lick the door, likes the cool feeling. Soooo cute.
Dana reports she is coming in 14 days or so and is bringing 6 year old Anthony, Keanna is delighted to have someone to play with and both kids want to go fishing.
Marilyn Titherington otherwise known as Mother Teresa around here is coming about the second week in July so things are going to be looking up round here. Its time I start cleaning and preparing for honest to goodness guests, yea! Son Steve is working long hours building his landscaping business and doing great work in the process. What an industrious guy he is.
So thats how things look from here. Please continue to pray for orders and checks too. I'm about to change my billing, I will work for food!
Sending love,

Tim

Uncertain times

Dear Family and Friends,
I write this evening after a strange day of work, rest, depression and joy. First the joy, Nikki called before lunch today to invite me to join she and Keanna at Strawhat for lunch. I loved seeing the scream and running little girl who ran up and hugged me. She was all ready to go visit her new kindergarten here in Discovery bay. So we ate quickly and they went to see the classrooms, hear a boring lecture (per Nikki) and get acquainted a bit with the place. Then they stopped by for a minute, how nice to have laughter and noise in the house again. The dogs were just thrilled to have guests. They they were gone and settled down to continue working on the Big One, a large impressive home in Brentwood owned by the creators of On the House, a TV show. Well as of this evening at 4:30 when I left to watch Keanna at tumbling class I was not finished. I shot photos of sales on the way, after the session and then drove to Alamo to shoot still more comps. Then on the way home I went to Olive Garden for soup and salad. On the way home I stopped at a cheap food place and got groceries then home to unload them. I'm anxious to get to bed. I have the high honor of walking around the lake in the morning with a very special guest. Since Ken is away on vacation Loree offered to do the walk, I could not believe it. First thing, it is very early in the morning and I just could not see her up that early to take a walk. She insists she will be ready and I'm not going to disappoint her.
I'm dealing with a rough patch right now. My weight has crept back up again, I'm not getting even the basic work done and certainly not keeping up with laundry, moping the floors and preparing the right kind of meals. My lawn needs to be mowed, weeds killed, roses trimmed, the bills are starting to pile up again and I just feel like I can't cope very well. I hope this is just something temporary I'm going through. At least the veramyst has controlled the allergies which is positive. I could use your prayers please, not sure how to climb out of the dumps I find myself in right now. Art is gone for 10 days on vacation, Ken is gone on vacation, there is almost no work coming in but I'm basically healthy I think and other than the sluggishness that comes with weight gain I think basically I'm OK.
So please say a little prayer for me, well actually a full blown prayer, that I can get a handle on things and find some zest for life again.

sending my love to all, looking forward to the campout at Lake McSwain this weekend and even more I'm looking forward to the new baby.

Tim

Back to work

Good Evening,
I'm doing this earlier tonight as I intend to go to bed earlier than what has become the habit. I've just made dinner, cottage cheese, green peas, two little breakfast links for protein and some v8 juice to make it interesting.
The highlight of this day was to have lunch with Loree. Loree has been important to nan and me for years and is one of those people you trust with the keys, the books, the phone numbers and basically everything. She lives a very busy life with 3 teenagers who are all girls, beautiful and very bright. Scott works from home so is there to help with the trials and tribulations of the girls but Loree keeps busy busing them here and there for all the important things they do every day. She is just finished with a prom and now is facing a senior ball and graduation while the third daughter was home ill today from school. In addition to all this domestic stuff she keeps our receivables in order, logs out files, sort of acts like a controller keeping details correct. She has figured out a way to control her work computer from home so sits in a very nice office at home and does DAS work from there. Like Nikki said I was just a couple years late in taking her to lunch as she has helped us so much over the years. So we did Olive Garden in Tracy and enjoyed catching up on each others kids and events.
By the time I drove back home I was very sleepy. Just out of the shower this morning something hit me and I itched all over, to the point I could not really function. This happens a couple times each spring so I knew I had to find and take a benedryl tablet. Well they happen to make one sleepy as well. So when I got back in the work chair this afternoon I fell into a deep sleep for nearly two hours. Yet I had work to do but didn't do it, just slept. Now I'm going back to the office and trying to do some catch up work.
This weekend the Tracy SDA church is having one of their famous campouts. This one is at Lake McSwain which is about 94 miles from here. Dave Hardesty, a long time buddy from the Tracy area will go with me and we'll make the trip on Friday during the day buying groceries as we go. All of this is dependent on whether the newest member of the family comes early or not. So far there is no indication that she is planning an early arrival and Nikki continues to do well. I can't wait to see this newest little arrival.
Did I mention that Dana has lost her mind once again. She and Tim flew to LA, got a rental and drove to Fresno to see a 69 bug. He liked it, bought it and they are driving it back to Houston. It goes 50 miles an hour uphill and 70 on the flat sections.; No doubt they are home by now. Tim was going to do it by himself but Dana offered to help. The crazy and fun things we do for, with our kids! Never a dull moment really as they unfold their exciting lives and we get to tag along.
Thanks for being my friend, my family. May you have a pleasant evening and get ready for the heat that is coming soon.

love

tim

Home from MBA

Dear Family and Friends,
I've been reading about fellow GIST patients in the Life Raft Digest. How I relive the feelings, hopes and fears we experienced over the years as I read of others situations. Oh that a cure could be found or even another breakthrough, right now ones best chances are if Gleevec keeps working or Sutent picks up the slack and starts to work. From there on there is a maze of maybe's but nothing that for sure people can count on.
I've just returned this evening from MBA and Jason and Jo's place. I had a nice safe and slow trip home. No reason to rush the motorhome as it gets much better fuel economy when not pushed. I found the trip to be exactly 100 miles from portal to portal if there are no stops for food or fuel along the way. I arrived there on Friday evening about 9, parked and had a nice talk with Jason as we relaxed on his wonderful couches. I rose late on Sabbath morning, took Starr and Lady for a short walk, then went to outside church and then the whole school headed to the SF zoo for a great afternoon. Timothy loved the creatures and was awake all afternoon. He gave his folks a bit of a rough time last night but was in great form this morning. The dogs drove me out of bed around 8 and we took off for a long walk. We reached the beach and found it deserted. As I walked along the breakers I had a long talk with my Lord about things in my own life that are in the way of health and a future. Then the phone rang, Jason was urging me to return as He and Jo had decided on brunch at Marie Calendars in Capitola. He actually came to meet me and along with two tired dogs I piled in and was driven back to the motorhome. He gave me 15 minutes to get ready so a quick shower and a time to dress and we were on our way. They had planned right, we were there so early that we walked right in, were seated and were eating omelets in no time. What a feast of fine food. Then back home, Jason and took a quick trip to OSH which was having a no sales tax day so we got a few things he needed around the place, formula (wow is that stuff expensive) and home again. Then Jason and Jo decided to attend a film festival nearby so Clayton and I watched Timothy. He put me through the paces, 20 minutes after they left he woke up with a very wet diaper, Clayton had to locate a new diaper for me to change. Then we tried a bottle which he drank down to the last drop, then an hour later I fed him some very yummy sweat potatoes which when his parents came home he was still wearing all over his face.
Then Jason and I fixed some wires that always hang too low over the motorhome, he cleaned the gutters all around and then it was time for me to go. I prepared the coach for travel, drew in the slide, locked up the cabinets and frig, turned the seats forward, told the dogs to hold on and we were off.
The property I had to see in San Jose was located on one of the most narrow streets I have ever seen. Of course parking was a real challenge since the motorhome is 29 feet long. I quickly inspected the house, found comps and then drove the comps following the lead of the GPS. That took some doing but soon I was able to punch in take me home and it found the freeway and the way home. It was an uneventful trip, sometimes Starr would come over and put her paws up on my leg and needed assurances and then would go back and rest on the floor in front of the passenger's seat.
It felt good to be home again and the dogs raced in to reclaim there space and to drive the cats out. I made some quick dinner and now I'm talking to you. I'm planning on a more disciplined week, earlier to bed, smaller meals, more attention to working, less depression and wandering aimlessly about and more production. Please pray that I will allow God to guide with His will in mind.
At this point in my life just even hearing the voices of my 4 children and 2 grandchilden is like music to me. So spending time with them was very special indeed and while there I got to have a nice conversation with both Nikki and Keanna as well. If I have much advice it would be along the lines of this, take the trip, take the drive to see your grandchildren and your children, there is nothing more important to them or to you. make the effort to stay close, to be helpful, to share the wealth, the knowledge, the love. As human being it is so easy to think of ourselves first and foremost. Wrong! We need to move beyond ourselves and reach the lives of others and actively care, a visit is much more powerful than a phone call or an email. Do it and do it often, you will never be sorry you cared too much.
So I send my love to first my family and then to the wider family that cares.

love

tim
ps a few photos of the area we tilled up recently and the view of the ocean from the new little patio Jason created.

Timothy goes to the SF zoo with 200 teens

Dear Friends and Family,
This evening we are all resting up from a very big day. The MBA student body had an outdoor worship service this morning and then everyone loaded up on huge buses and headed to the zoo in San Francisco. Tickets had been arranged in advance and the students enjoyed an afternoon in beautiful weather observing the animals and socializing. We rode up in Jo's Mazda 3, a very nice car and joined up with the student body. Timothy enjoyed seeing many animals including giraffes, rhinos, bears, peacocks, monkeys, gorillas and many other creatures big and small. He was awake the entire afternoon and the teens would stop and talk to him often.
This evening he is having a very hard time going to sleep and staying alseep. He seems to be having trouble with his new formula which appears to be causing some reactions. He was such a good boy all day, laughed, watched wide eyed and in general enjoyed himself. Now Jason and Jo are in for a long night I'm afraid.
Jason made some of his famous chocolate chip pancakes this morning and along with stipples were very tasty. I had a tour of the area we recently tilled up and he has made great progress having created a paved area for ocean viewing, put in many plants, ground cover and a way of keeping it wet as well.
I personally slept in until after 9 this morning, the dogs were very ready for me to rise and shine, had a nice shower motorhome style and found the clothes in the closet to wear. I have found a great source of inexpensive grillers so brought a few more packs of them as Jason and Jo like to BBQ and grillers work really well. My source is about 1/2 as expensive as Safeway.
I hope your Sabbath went well. I have enjoyed spending time with these dear people I love so much. They are always on my heart as are Nikki, Steve and Keanna. I've been blessed with very special people and I know you have been too. Life is never really measured in how much or how powerful or how successful we are, it is measured in moments with people you love sharing, helping and rejoicing and just conversing.
Around here the cell phones do not usually work but this evening mine worked while sitting on the couch and I was able to reach my brother and tell him where I was and also to check in with Nikki. They were working in Keanna's room getting it just right for her. She talked to me on the phone and told me she was helping a lot with the work being done. We had a very nice chat. She was excited about how nice Kallie's room was too. She told me Kallie had been kicking a lot and doing gymnastics in her mommy's tummy. All of this is very good.
Good evening and love from our family to yours,

Tim

At MBA again

Dear Family and Friends,
Well here I am at the little table in the motorhome, its about 11:30, the dogs are signalling that they think its time for bed. I've just come back to the motorhome after getting to have a couple hour chat with Jason. I decided this morning that coming to visit Timothy and family might be a good idea since it will be several weeks before I can come again to visit. Next weekend is the campout with the Tracy Church Family somewhere above Modesto in the foothills and hopefully the next weekend we might start moving toward a new baby. Nikki thought it was a good idea to come visit since she and Keanna are going to be very busy this weekend and would not need me. So as the day progressed the idea grew stronger and stronger. I called this afternoon and reached Jo, she seemed to like the idea of my coming and later Jason confirmed that it was a good weekend to visit. I had an appraisal to do in Vacaville this afternoon which I did and then I returned home to pick up the motorhome, load it up with all the needed items and then at 7 I started driving this way. The trip down was perfect, no traffic and 100 miles later I was pulling into the kids yard. The dogs enjoyed the trip and I finished up an excellent book I had been enjoying for the last few days. I was glad to arrive as I was getting tired and worn out.
Its not as much fun to fuel the motorhome these days. $75 used to fill the tank over the half mark, not any more. Will these prices ever decline, they should tie the prices of fuel and homes together. Houses are in a steep decline and fuel prices are in a steep incline. And we are all caught in the pinch. Ouch!
This has been a week of ups and downs but I know the good Lord was watching over all of us including me. As the week progressed several orders finally arrived. One died as soon as I checked the comps. They had hoped for $200K and I can only find about $130K at this point in time. Then there is the other end of the process, its called conditions. This afternoon I opened an email to find numerous questions being posed about an appraisal I did recently. Why did I do this and why didn't I do that? Not sure I even have all the answers the underwriter is seeking. Guess this person does not get out much or he or she would already know the answers, prices are dropping rapidly and I used the best comps I could find on the day I saw the house. New ones now might be lower. Conditions are the unfunded part of what we do. Anyone in the whole process can demand more work and of course there is no additional payment so you end up working sometimes several hours for nothing. Its part of the business and to complain is a waste of breath and energy.
I have thought a lot about the gems gleaned from the grief group last evening. One can never attend without being reminded that others have it tougher or are having it tough right now. Oh how I wish I could solve some of these huge health problems people face. I gain a lot of courage and strength from a couple guys who lost their spouses about a year ago. What they say and how they feel now is really helpful as I live this experience 5 months later day by day and night by night, how I miss waking up and looking over at my beautiful Nan who always looked like an angel when she slept. She never made any noise and has such shallow breathing I often would jump up and put my ear down to her chest to hear her breathing. Sometimes I would watch for a minute to see if there was any movement and then I would see it as her body slowly breathed in and out. There was never anything crude or rough about Nan. She was a lady all the time at home and in public. She was funny, had a dry sense of humor and was so positive and persuasive. Jason and I were remembering how much she loved to drive down to see him and Jo even when the trip hurt and was very tiring. She loved her kids and her grandkids and there was never a question about that.
I am gradually getting over my resentment toward the entire universe for taking her in the prime of life. It happened, we did everything we could and trusted God to work things out as well as possible. Now we just have to accept that He knows how to make everything work out for the good eventually. I often wonder what my future holds and with work so slow I wonder about the near future as well. I do have bills, mostly IRS bills that I have to deal with but I've come a long way in the last 5 months and God has been there helping with all the details.
I do thank God for caring friends and family, for material blessings, for a safe and warm place to sleep at night, for more than adequate food, for good books, good music and the deeply satisfying hope for the second coming of our Lord in the clouds. The thought of seeing Nan again without tumors is thrilling yet seems so far off.
So dear people, hold fast to what you believe, grip the ones you love in her hands and hearts and have a great weekend and special mothers day.

love

Tim

An interesting day

Dear Family and Friends,
Its 9:20 and I'm just back from the grief recovery group. Tonight was unique as each weekly meeting is, different ones share their trials and triumphs, one girl brings something to eat and its always good, the leader keeps the group working and everyone speaks when they feel they want to, we encourage each other, listen to each other, hand tissues when needed. This week someone is just back from a trip to see a new grand baby in spite of the spouse being severely ill, someone else had been called Aunt Jamina due to the head cover she wears over a chemo caused case of baldness, one grandmother had just discovered a teenager in severe trouble at school, one person is wrestling with whether to have a medical procedure that might be life threatening but to not do it might also be serious, others were happy to relate accounts of trips taken, good results from blood tests and so it goes. One cannot be in this group without becoming aware that many people suffer, some win, some lose but survival is something to be sought, claimed and lived.
Sylvia had given me some really good material which I was reading this afternoon, helpful advice in meeting the demons of survival head on and describing how not everyone is equipped just the same to survive, its harder for some than others, different for men than women, different for adult children when they lose a parent.
I read the accounts of people who are struggling currently with GIST, what drug to consider next after Sutent and Gleevec have failed, what about Nexavar? My heart responds to everyone of the people, I've been there, counted each day of survival as precious and valuable. How I hate cancer, GIST especially.
For a while it looked like I would finally get to have lunch with Loree. Loree is the quiet hero for our family. She held things together when we were in Boston, feeding creatures, adding water to the tank, answering the phone calls, writing the checks, making the deposits, setting up accounts and files. So I invited her to lunch but just before we were to go something vital came up for one of her precious daughters and Loree had to deliver a book so we rescheduled for Monday. With an opening I decided to take the bug to Tracy for an oil change. Its required 3000 mile period had slipped toward 6,000 miles and I knew it had to happen. I have a special friend at an oil changing place in Tracy near the corner of Tracy Blvd. and Grantline Road. They keep the oil my car needs, the filter and are always ready. I know of no other place that keeps the supplies my car needs on hand other than the dealership. After they were done I asked them to look up when the motorhome last had its oil changed. their records showed it to be in 2004, whoops! Well I think I've had it changed since then but I'm not sure so I drove the motorhome there and got its 7 quarts changed as well, then to CostCo for fuel and a few things and then home to park the motorhome at storage, grab my car and head to grief group. Most of the day I was just sort of down due to the lack or orders but once I was out in the motorhome calls came in and two new orders were placed, waiting for me when I got home. I'm in hopes that I can deal with at least one of them tomorrow, true its in San Jose but whats a few miles? Hopefully the one in Vacaville will also come through and oh yes the other one is up in Rancho Cordova, nothing anywhere near but I'm not complaining.
Nikki continues to do well and is now down to about 2 and 1/2 weeks. She feels well, the baby is moving around well, is good sized and has a good heart beat, all great signs. And Steve just about has the baby room completed, freshly carpeted, painted, new crown molding, new designer paint on the walls, it looks great!
I'm concerned about Starr, several times today I've found her coughing, more than normal. I'm not sure if I should take her to the vet or not. I shudder to think of anything happening to my little friend and buddy. I think we'll take a park walk in the morning and see how that works out for her.
So another day passes for all of us, how has this day been lived? What could we do better? Someone wrote to the blog and offered an excellent suggestion, that is that I might consider doing the volunteer work as a chaplain at a hospital, in some ways it really fits, I am somewhat aware of medical situations, of hospital procedures, I know how to talk to people and I do care. I'm going to give it serious consideration and I thank who ever wrote in.
Good night my friends and family,
love

tim

Busy day, home safe once again

Hi Everyone,
It feels nice to be sitting at home again after a rather busy day. Ken and I walked this morning at 6:30, found air breezy and brisk! Then a quick bowl of shredded wheat and applesauce, then work very hard to complete an Oakland appraisal, done and sent at 12:30, then try to complete another one from Stockton (driveby with complications), almost done, helped Steve back the boat into its place beside the house. He and David did a wonderful job of removing years of trash and broken down weeds to the dump yesterday. It is so encouraging to see the water where before I could only see weeds. Thanks so much guys!
Mapblast said travel time to Salinas was 2 hours 5 minutes. Having run out of time before completing the Stockton appraisal I hit the road but not before loading up an excellent book I found in Nan's car compliments of Dana. Well the book is great and really made the trip go fast. I arrived about 8 minutes late and the clients who were to meet me there were not there. I had called and bugged the title company until they got me the access number for the lockbox as I drove down, talk about faith that things would work out. I measured the home which was in remarkably good condition for a bank owned foreclosure. As I was nearing completion the clients (buyer) arrived and was very happy to be able to see the interior of the home. After a few minutes of deciding which comps to shoot and programing the GPS I started that process. I shot about 9 photos just to be sure I had it covered. I had missed lunch so decided to find food, well I found nothing enticing in Salinas, just don't know the town well enough to know where the good places are hidden. Art and Connie invited me over so I stopped in Gilroy and had wonderful food with them. Then bidding them farewell I set my sights on home. To make up for the speed I drove going down I drove slowly coming home. Once again the book helped the miles pass quickly.
Starr and Lady were the greeters when I came through the door and after a treat each they settled down to celebrate my return. I read the emails and followed with interest the GIST emails from people who are in the thick of the battle, searching for the next drug that might help. There are so many things I could say but I only respond when someone has lost someone, tonight a lady reported losing her husband who was 53 years old, grown children and 4 grandchildren. What a terrible loss and I did write to her. Because Nan and lost the battle for her survival does not mean I do not care about the battles others are still waging. Some will win, some will eventually face the terrible loss when the tumors win. How I hate this disease and how I long for a cure, for a pathway away from the return of the tumors for so many.
So my friends and family, rejoice in your blessings, actively love those in your path and be the best person you can be, its a decision, a choice and I urge you to make it every day.
love

tim