Friday night, another week has passed

Good evening,
Its over, the week that is and I'm not sorry to see it go. There have been good moments but also some rather rough ones. Its hard not to be a bit bitter about this whole loss process. At this point I see absolutely no good out of it and we all feel her being gone. Sharon has had an incredibly tough week missing her and we seem to trade weeks of sorrow. Sharon, Dana and Nan talked just about every day for years and I think it lifted them all through the process. They could rarely get together but they did communicate. Nan loved to have the phone ring or to catch Sharon just before she went to sleep. She often had to put off calling Dana since Dana goes to bed with the chickens, gets her rest religiously and Nan would look at the clock and say, rats they both have already gone to bed so she would have to settle with talking to me which she liked but she really liked to talk to the girls. Nikki and Jason often called during the day which was a huge boost to her as she liked to know what and how they were doing always.
She would have loved the new carpet, the new paint and just getting it done, she would have been in the middle of it all helping and wearing herself out. If her family needed her she was there, nothing could stop her and to have her stopped now is to hard to accept. Hearing her voice on her cell phone reminds anyone calling of how full of music her life was, her voice is just rich and precious. I sure hope we were all able to convey to her how much pleasure and happiness she gave to all of us, I hope she went to sleep knowing she was admired and treasured. I think she did. When she was here I knew who I was, I was Nan's husband, the good caregiver, the one who finally learned how to actively care. This evening I was throwing some trash out of her car and came across a treasure chest of IV pushes, saline which we used for everything. I was reminded just what we did to care for her and by the end times it was pretty complicated. That brave lady had to put up with so much, thousands of times of nausea, constant pain in her back, her legs, her feet, fevers that often ran to nearly 105, either too much fluid forced in by stupid nurses at Sutter or dehydration and low potassium or magnesium. Yet through it all she did not complain, grow bitter, grow angry or depressed. She lived a full life right up to the day she died, no looking back, no giving up, no regrets other than she wanted to Live. Boy if there is a bitter phase one goes through well its now.
Tomorrow I have the privilege of driving Ms Keanna to Sabbath School, then back home and then she will go to her birthday party at a special place just for girls held somewhere in Brentwood. Sounds so much fun for her.
This afternoon when I attempted to leave for Oakland my little black car said no, the battery was just too weak. On the way home I dropped in at CostCo for a new one, no that was not to be, they do not carry the right battery for my bug, errrr. So I drove to Napa and paid dearly for a new battery. For anyone who has ever changed a battery you know there is no way to do it cleanly and in the bug one half of the battery is crammed under the fender, having done it before I knew how much fun I was about to have, yep, it was a blast but now its done, I have grease ingrained into my fingers and I have a bit of a sense of accomplishment. Oh by the way it did start after all that hard work. What is it with CostCo? They never have bananas anymore, what happened? did someone sue them or something, for two months I've looked and there are never any available. Of course being CostCo there are plenty of other things to buy, books on CD, tomatoes, peanut butter and granola bars. The last box lasted over a year! They were still good.
My visit to Oakland this afternoon had to be done in the van, well the van drives great and it was a pleasure to make the trip there in style. The little house was one of the two worst I have ever seen. The lady next door told me the police are considering taking the house for the city due to drug activity, well I can believe it. I have never seen such a mess and in every room, clothes, trash, blankets, electronic equipment, more trash. Seems the last occupants are spending some time behind bars just now and what a terrible mess they left behind. I honestly don't know how you would clean out a place like that, with wide shovels and a dumpster I guess. Lucky for me I get to appraise it, this is one for the match comment.
Years ago we used to write up appraisals in long hand and then professional typists would prepare the report. Howard or Dolly would have to review what we had written before it went out of course. Well I had a place that was terrible so in the condition section of the report I wrote a tongue in check comment, nothing about this house that a good fire would not solve, well it was a comment to make Howard chuckle, it got typed in and sent out and I do believe we heard about it from the lender. Well this house is one that could be improved by a good fire!
Good evening my friends and family, reach out and touch the one you love now, not someday or later, do it now while you can.
love

tim