Starr has a close call, is rushed to the doctor..

Dear Family and Friends,
This morning after the family left for a day trip to San Francisco I was working in my office and heard sneezing. Turns out Starr had gotten through the opened gate and was in the grassy area beside the house. I went out to investigate and found Starr sneezing continually with foam coming from her mouth. You have got to understand that this little dog means a great deal to me, she is with me constantly when I am home working, sleeps beside me every night, sits in the recliner with me whenever I happen to find time to watch TV or rest. And to suddenly see her in so much pain and suffering was very hard to deal with. I found a lease and took her to the local vet, one that nan eventually stopped using due to his high prices and less than ideal care according to her. But I just wanted to get Starr to the nearest help I could, I assumed that she had picked up a fox tail and that is was boring into her nose deeper and deeper every minute.
We arrived at the vet here in Discovery Bay in a few minutes and I took Starr in. She was a very good girl and put up with their examine. Then the doc went away to his adding machine and hit the go button. $440 dollar later he came back and took Starr away. He called an hour later to say he had helped her sleep, then worked on her nose and found a very long fox tail. When he removed it she bled a lot. He said he had to keep her nose packed for awhile to slow the bleeding and it finally stopped. I could pick her up at 5. Well I was there at 5 with a check in hand. I was urged to buy flea medicine, heart worm medicine which I declined. I figured they might be a less expensive way to buy these needed items.
Starr was very uncertain on her feet and has been at my feet or within a couple yards away since we got home. Mid evening I had to make a delivery to Tracy and buy a new toner cartridge for my HP1000 so I left her sleeping. When I came home she was at the door and I've included a couple photos of her this evening. I keep wondering what next and then the next arrives and wow it is startling over and over again.
I am assuming that Dana and Anthony had a very good day in SF, they are both fast asleep and were when I got home from Tracy.
Tomorrow we all plan to venture down to Jason and Jo's place at MBA, hit the beach and then try out the aquarium at Monterey Bay. It should be a very enjoyable day. Am I caught up with my work? Well not quite but I've worked all day on it except for the trips to and from the doctor with Starr.
I am so glad the doctor was able to get to it before it moved into her brain. I doubt she can make the stairs tonight so I'll gladly carry her up to bed. I'm just glad she is OK and recovering.
Special acts of kindness continue to happen to me and to those people who are behind the acts I am eternally grateful. Life continues to be a very big challenge and several times each day I must deal with someone who wants money for this or that. Today it was someone really hammering me for a payment when I made the payment yesterday on line and in spite of telling her to look at her screen she just would not listen. Since I had just arrived at the vet's with Starr I just hung up on her. I figure she might just look at the records and see a payment has been made.
I'm grateful for so many things tonight, for Dana and Anthony being here, for kind and wise children, for precious and precocious grand kids and for my little Starr and Lady.

love to all,

Tim
PS I received some very difficult news this afternoon. Our dear precious friend Irene Wing who had surgery just 7 months ago was informed by a scan that there are two new growths near her liver. It was not the news any of us wanted at all. She now must search and decide on the next step, which trial program to try for to attempt to control the tumors. Please pray for this dedicated daughter of God. Her faith is strong and her courage is astounding.

Anthony seems better after taking it easy today

Good evening friends and family,
10:05 and time to retire. This chair gets hard after hours of sitting. I've managed to both see 2 properties today but come home and complete them, both had short deadlines and they are out already, emailed to the clients.
Dana and Anthony rented movies today and watched them non stop all day, just took it easy, Dana fed him chicken soup and he went to bed feeling pretty well tonight. What a fun kid to have around. He and Keanna play great together.
I think my family is going to the city tomorrow for the day, that is if Anthony feels good enough. I am staying home to get some work caught up so I can go with the family on Tuesday to see jason, jo and Timothy at MBA. That should be a great day and Nan would be so happy to know we will be using the van, just the way she wanted it used for family happiness.

The smoke is gradually getting less now but has sure done a number on our lungs and breathing.

I hope for a good week for all of us, one in which we can tackle some of our challenges and do better with them, one in which we can decide to be proactive and at peace in spite of the past, one in which our love each other surpasses our love for ourselves.

Life is precious, so is having such a loving family which is filled with characters and energy.

love

tim

For a rest day we sure were busy.

Dear Family and Friends,

This evening as I write Anthony is battling illness that came on this morning. Over the last several months he will come down with a mysterious ailment that causes his spleen to swell, his glands to swell, causes high fevers. Texas Children's Hospital in Houston has not completely solved the origin of this illness. This evening Dana found he had a temp of 101.5, had a conversation with his mom and was able to locate some predisone which she ground up into a soft drink. I've not heard anything from them for the past two hours so I'm hoping he is doing better.

We started the day with an on time arrival at Sabbath School. Dana was welcomed warmly by various people at the church who know her from her prior visits to be with Nan. Anthony went to Kingdom Kids and Sylvia was the teacher. Keanna went to Cradleroll where the story of the raven feeding the prophet was featured. After Sabbath School we decided to visit Pam who has been confined to her home for weeks. We picked up a Strawberry pie at Marie Calendar's and had lunch there. Pam enjoyed a piece of pie and seemed to enjoy having the little guys tear up her house. I was so sleepy that Dana drove home afterwards. Except for Keanna we all ended up napping and then discovered Anthony did not feel well at all.

What pure joy it is to observe Anthony and Keanna play, create and share. Of course it looks like a small bomb went off when they are done but it is still wonderful to have little people on site and to have the calm mature hand of Dana letting them know their boundaries. Finally about 7:30 I returned Keanna to her parents who seemed very glad to have their daughter back. Kallie was resting peacefully for the brief time I was there.

Sylvia told me this evening about the story the pastor shared in church this morning. He and Jeannie just returned from the mission trip and in a mad rush to get to the connecting flight Jeannie's purse was left at a security check point. They had no chance to go back so on the way home as they passed through that same airport they asked lost and found and in an amazing fashion found that all their things were safe and sound. This is unheard of and God must have watched over Jeannie's things very carefully the two weeks they were there.

Our Aunt Ann sent both Dana and I a DVD of a presentation re: How Great God Is. We watched most of it today and the message is really amazing, the incredible size of what God has created in space leaves some powerful impressions of just how great our God really is. Thank you Aunt Ann.

I've included some photos from Sabbath School. You have often read my accounts of the wonderful warmth of Emily Dunston, well one of her tasks is to play for Sabbath School for Keanna's division. She is such a special lady and I've included a photo of her this evening. Also Jason and Jo send a SnapFish page with several photos of Timothy in action. I grabbed a couple to include here. The photo of Keanna shows her in her chair, something that does not happen to often as this is a very active Sabbath School with lots of great activities. Timothy is having to adjust to a new gate, one that is installed for his safety as there is a stairs down to the basement leading out of the kitchen and he could easily find the stairs hence the gates to protect him. He does not look too happy over the new gates.

How like all of us when we find life's limits and react to them. Freedom can be wonderful and also very dangerous.

Last evening we had a special guest drop by. Mary from Discovery Bay Travel came to visit, it was wonderful to see her again. She has dropped 18 lbs and appears to be in excellent health. We are actually going to her home tomorrow evening for dinner, looking forward to that.

So for tonight we pray for Anthony, we all send our love and wish you could be with us.

love

tim

Quiet settles in like a gentle fog

Dear Family and Friends,
As peace comes to this household one reflects on the past week. I have experienced a total blessing as Dana arrived last Sunday bringing little Anthony with her. Dana has created magic meals over and over including some steel cut oats for breakfast today, great taste and you could just feel how good they were for the body. Tonight it was cottage cheese loaf, spinach, Lima beans, mashed potatoes, makes you hungry just reading about it. Dana has been working some every day on the walk in closet in my room and now has all of the various items packaged or already delivered to the curb this morning for pickup by a charity organization. She has announced that next week she will be moving me into the large walk in closet where Nan always kept her beautiful things. I guess it makes sense to use the space in a positive manner. I am deeply thankful for the help given with these special things and I include those who were here in December and took some outfits then, then Jerry and Donna and Ruth who came recently and now Dana, the sweeper who is finishing the job. Everyone has lovingly appreciated the quality and selection that Nan made over the years. For those of you who have lost someone very close and special you will understand that there are many chapters in this phase of life, chapters that are being closed one by one, each carries its own pain and memories, yet each needs to happen eventually. There is nothing easy about this process of letting someone slip away who was the center of everything for so many years, for as long as I can remember. It is the most painful process one can imagine yet one that all will face someday unless the Lord comes and takes us while we are still alive.
Today I walked somewhat painfully. Something in my left leg caused shooting pains from time to time and then they would pass. Ken has called already confirming our walking time of 7 am in the morning so we'll see how the legs hold up tomorrow. I have continued to walk in spite of the heavy smoke, walking is just to vital right now.
After seeing a home in Brentwood today I drove on to Walnut Creek to the VW dealer seeking a new key since mine broke in half on Thursday. Yes it works but only barely. While I was there I think I found my next car for some some in the future years. They had their first new Jetta with the ultra clean burning diesel engine on display. It is so clean burning that they put a white towel over the tail pipe and nothing soiled it while the engine was running. I had heard that a new generation of clean burning diesels were about to be introduced and today I saw one. Rated at about 44 mpg by an independent company the car is roomy and is reported to have excellent power. Unlike my bug which has a manual 5 speed the new car has a new kind of high tec transmission. My intention is to sell the Odyssey once all the guests have come and gone this summer. I will miss its room and ability to hold 7 people with ease but I will not miss the high monthly payment. The problem is this, the bug has turned 172,000 miles and has many issues working against it. Sooner or later it will fail and then I will need reliable wheels. I'm pretty sure God is fully aware of my need for transportation and will help when the time comes.
Tonight Keanna is here as our guest and we will all go to Sabbath School tomorrow. The kids have been playing and making lots of noise, sort of like family music really. Now they are settling down for the night.
I am thankful for so many things this evening, for a noisy house, for a house that smells like a great restaurant, for cluttered floors with toys, dolls, cars and books, for someone adult to talk to and to reminisce about Nan and better younger days. I am so thankful that Jason is feeling better, that Kallie is growing rapidly, that Keanna is safe and sound, that Steve had a productive week, that Pam is feeling better, that Marilyn is coming the 2nd week of July, that Dana is staying through July 4 and so it goes.
I hope you enjoy your weekend, your families and your blessings.

love

tim

They went to the zoo

Dear Family and Friends,
Its only 9:30 so Barbie can go to bed early tonight! I'm back from driving over 300 miles safely. The smoke made the day less pleasant than usual but the friendliness of the homeowners in Madera was amazing. It is such a joy to be privileged to visit with some very nice people on almost a daily basis as I inspect home after home for the appraisal business.. I walked this morning but did it later than usual and the temp was already starting to rise a bit. Today's walk was enhanced by conversations with friends, Art was walking his two little grandchildren in a stroller in Bloomingdale, IL. Macie and Gage were keeping him busy as they walked along and I could hear the joy in his voice as they shared the adventure together. Today Art and Connie were baby sitting the little ones instead of day care as Sarah had to work.
I started a new book in the CD player, set the AC to low and the cruise to 65 and headed down Highway 99. It was a pleasant drive with a few trucks to slow for and a few idiots going very fast to dodge. As I drove the smoke increased and the temperature shot up too. The property was located out in the country east of the highway, had 2 acres, a newly new home in turn key condition and a shop loaded with "man" toys. The couple had been married for 59 years with their life marred recently by several blood clots in the ladies brain and head. Fortunately Kaiser had been able to restore her to reasonable health but the husband said he is never far away from her now just in case she needs him. By the time I had completed the inspection and the visit I was feeling faint so I punched in Subway and was given a list of about 5 nearby stores. I selected the nearest and enjoyed a very nice lunch with tons of excellent tasting lettuce, wheat bread, tomatoes and olives. Restored to health I ventured out into the heat and started to drive the comps. They were spread over an 8 mile radius but finally I was through and heading home.
Nikki, Keanna, Kallie, Dana and Anthony went to the zoo in Oakland today. This evening all the reports are of a great day, Dana was so tired from walking the hills of the zoo that she retired early hoping to recoup. I went to grief group and found it to be very helpful, funny and encouraging. What a huge lift to just be with these very special people. Now I'm home and in a short while I'm going to bed. During the day today I've taken many calls and some of them have turned into orders. I'm delighted with that turn of events. Orders are good!
One very wonderful thing to report. Jason felt well enough today to return to work, his voice sounds better and I can tell he is feeling much much better. I am so thankful for that and I could hear relief in Jo's voice as we spoke this evening.
Tomorrow I will see properties again but this time they are much closer by. That will be nice as driving that far is both costly and very tiring in spite of the good book I was listening to.
Good night to all, we all send our love, how precious is family!

love

tim

Working 9 to 5

Dear Family and Friends,
It is so nice to have Dana and Anthony here in the house. Dana has worked all day in sorting and preparing things to be given to charity. She has Nan's walk in closet nearly completed and has sorted through cook books and many other items. In addition she has prepared tasty meals, supervised life wire Anthony, charmed the dogs, helped Anthony catch a tiny bass and even caught a nap.
I worked in this morning after my walk, then headed for the office to work until it was time to go to the cardiologist office. That visit turned out to be a let down. All the numbers are either the same or worse than the last visit and my lack of dropping pounds is showing in the results. The doctor changed one medicine which will help with both the good and bad cholesterol as well as the triglycerides. In spite of my daily walking the blood pressure has risen again from where we were a month ago. And to sort of round out the doctor visit experience the key to the bug broke into and will cost $111 to replace plus two hours at VW. So for now I just will use two pieces and make due.
With all the excitement around the house I am finding less time to work which is both a blessing and a curse. I love the fellowship and the fun but I do need to keep the clients happy as well.
Tomorrow is a long trip, to Madera to a 2 acre ranchette. Yes it is worth it since the fee is $450 and costs of travel will be less than $50. I think the rest of the family are planning a trip to the Oakland Zoo and that will be fun for them.
I'm so thankful for my precious little kids, Keanna, Kallie and Timothy, what precious expressions of God's love! And speaking of kids, Jason has had a better day, not well yet but better and he finally was able to get some rest today which he desperately needs.
I'm thankful tonight for my helpers, Jean and Loree, life would be much harder without their dedicated and precise work.
I'm so thankful that Roger and Carol were able to make the trip out if even for just a few days. It is my prayer that God will guide them as they move forward with selling Lakemont and then moving on.
For your prayers and loving concern I thank you tonight.

love

tim

Precious family

Dear Family and Friends,

9:50 pm and a long day. This evening was another special time as Dana cooked and we ate. After much prodding we took the paddle boat out for a brief trip against the wind and I think we all enjoyed it including Starr. I got to read Keanna her story tonight and have prayer with her, what a precious little person God has granted our family. Kallie is growing so rapidly and is doing well, does not always like to sleep at night yet but overall is a healthy and happy baby. Keanna is very precious with her and very loving.

Lady got clipped today, Dana took pity on her and she has a summer cut now, looks so much better than she did before.

I saw a property in Lodi this morning, shot the comps and then had lunch with Roger and Carol, Bob and Carrol. Then we drove back to their home and Bob fixed dessert with melon, berries and delicious ice cream. It was so good to see these dear friends and to find all of them doing pretty well. It was a huge lift for me personally.

Our air is very smokey with the sun hardly visible and you can feel the smoke in your eyes and throat. It will be nice when we can breath easier again.

I am very thankful for God's protecting mercies this evening. Tomorrow I find out the results of the blood work taken a week ago. I'm seeing the cardiologist in Brentwood. I'm thinking the visit may not be a pleasant one.

Jason continues to battle with fevers, sore throat and coughing and so far not really any improvement. He needs our prayers. A special thanks to Dr Jim Edwards who took a call from Jason this afternoon regarding his condition. If he is not better in two days then further testing will be done, for now the thinking is viral and it has to run its course it seems.

I spoke to Art this evening and the merry trio arrived in Chicago this evening, the only problem is where they are parked is a block from constant train traffic and resulting noise. They were not sure how well they were going to rest tonight..

So from our family to yours, goodnight, we love you all,

Tim

I actually took a photo of the ladies today but it did not turn out, very blurry. Pictured are Bob and Roger.

On the stand then home to a feast

Dear Family and Friends,

We are mellowing out now after a tremendous feast that Dana prepared. Steve, Nikki and Kallie came over to have dinner. Keanna had already been here playing with Anthony all afternoon. Camp director Dana had purchased fishing poles, worms, bobbers and between she and Loree they got the poles ready for fishing. Of course after a few minutes in the warm afternoon sun both Anthony and Keanna grew weary and decided fishing was not so exciting after all. They played for hours and got along great, what a huge boost to Keanna's summer, a great way to relieve boredom. Also a huge relief for Nikki to just get to spend time with Kallie while Keanna is happily playing. On the docket are trips to the zoo, swimming, china town and probably much much more.

Dana and I walked to the park with the dogs this morning and then she and the little ladies came home and I walked the rest of the 2.5 mile circuit. Then I worked over the report, printed out 4 copies for the different lawyers and the judge, loaded up the file and dug out the suit which has not been worn for months. When it was time I dressed in the suit, loaded up the car and headed to Fairfield. It was a very smoky day and the entire trip over I'm sure the air quality was very poor in the car. The GPS guided me to the courthouse but I had to find my own parking. The entire trip over I was talking to myself about how I could do this, I can, I can and then I would take deep breathes. Suddenly I was in the court room and being called to the front where I was sworn in and then took my seat. First came the questions from the friendly lawyer and then from the opposing side and then from the judge. After a few minutes the questions were through and I was allowed to leave. It turned out to be a very good experience but it sure helps to be prepared. I was struck by how many very carefully agreed on rules govern the court room process. In this permissive age where anything goes it was a real pleasure to see the rules being followed and civil discourse taking place. A clear sign on the door lets all who would enter know the dress code, the rules on no gum chewing, no cell phones, no tank tops, no flip flops, no jeans. Very clear and to the point. I came away impressed by the system and how carefully it has been thought out. I was so relieved to be completed and even more thankful to receive a small check on the spot for my work. With it I was able to cover some payroll for people who help make the company keep going. It was a different Tim that drove home, relaxed, tie off, Hawaiian music on the player. I found a burrito in Rio Vista and then drove on home. I am very thankful to my Lord for the help He rendered today in helping me meet this challenge. I had the skills, the knowledge, the experience and the ability of public speaking and it all came together once I was on the stand.

When I arrived home it was to a driveby filled with cars, Loree was working in the office, Dana was working in the kitchen, I was struck as I walked through the door with the sweet perfume coming from the office and the pleasant cooking odors emanating from the kitchen. How nice to come home to life, noise, joy. In a short time Nikki and Steve came to dinner and brought Melaboo with them, the black lab loves to swim and did a great deal of that as she chased balls through out into the lake. Soon the whole place was filled with family sounds, bouncing balls, laughter, chatter, Kallie speaking up. The meal was a feast, the white corn divine, the salad perfect, mashed potatoes, and much much more.

Now everything is quiet. The kids went home an hour or so ago, Keanna was so tired but didn't want to go... that's a good sign.

Dana has Comcast coming in the morning, she said she has to get it working before Marilyn arrives, it has worked off and on over the past 6 months and frankly I'm tired of it. If this visit does not solve our problems we will turn to Direct TV or Dish network, enough with this horrid cable company.

I have the high honor of having lunch with Roger and Carol from N Carolina who flew in today and also Bob and Carrol. We will meet in Lodi at noon. Fortunately I have a 10 am appointment in the farming country east of Lodi tomorrow, sounds like a lovely property with 10 acres. After we eat and socialize I'll head back to the subject area to locate sales of similar properties. Next day I see the cardiologist and a Brentwood appointment that evening, then on Thursday it is Madera. Praise God for orders and work, for wonderful friends, for this great family I am enjoying.

I've included a photo of Anthony pointing out the sunset this evening. The photo does not really grasp the beauty of the scene as the sun set midst the smoke over the palm trees of our island. The other photo is a happy moment with Steve, Nikki and Kallie just before they left. Arn't they beautiful, yes even Steve is beautiful! Baby kallie is growing rapidly and charms everyone who holds her. Keanna continues to be a great big sister and is very protective and supportive to her little sister.

Thank you Dana for your enormous help. You are amazing!

love

tim

Please continue to remember Jason in prayer. He is not well yet and is still suffering with fever, nasty throat and general malaise.

Dana arrives from Houston

It finally happened. Dana finally broke free from her grandparent duties in Houston and arrived in Oakley with Anthony, her 6 year old grandson, at noon today. Keanna went with me to greet them and it was so good to see them both. Keanna was a bit shy at first but soon warmed to her cousin. They shared chips and stories as we drove first to CostCo in Livermore for needed survival supplies and then to Chili's where we met Nikki and Kallie for a late lunch. Nikki and Kallie had been to a planning session in Tracy for the upcoming VBS program. We enjoyed our lunch while Kallie went to sleep. Earlier in the morning I had been privileged to hold her and feed her for awhile. She is a strong and assertive baby to be sure and is now well over 9 lbs.

Keanna chose to ride back with us and came for an afternoon visit which stretched into evening. She and Anthony played very well together, did puppet shows, feed geese, watched DVDs and had fun. I've included a photo of them on the dock after they had fed the geese all the stale bread I've been saving for such an occasion.

Reluctantly Keanna finally consented to going home mid evening, its hard to leave when you are having so much fun and with Dana around there is lots of fun. She has a heart of love with a special tender spot for little kidos.

Ask me how much work I've gotten done, well actually none but its well worth it to get to have this house full of noise again, full of love and life. It is just wonderful and I plan to enjoy every minute of it and yes I will get some work done too. Like tomorrow afternoon I will be in court in Fairfield on the stand being an "expert" witness. That is a real challenge to the fearful part of me so I'd better just step up to the plate and share what I know as best I can.

Please pray for Jason this evening, that he will find a quick recovery and get on with his meaningful life.

So good night my friends and family,

love

tim

Taxi Tim

Dear Family and Friends,

She is coming. Dana has confirmed that she and Anthony will be on a Southwest direct non stop from Houston tomorrow at 12:15. I so hope she is able to make the trip. I think Keanna and I are going to meet them in Oakland. Suddenly there are several more things I would like to have done before they arrive but you know what, I am just delighted that she is getting to come visit and to help Nikki.

Today I was taxi driver for Pam and Terry, her cousin from Wales. What a wonderful person he is, kind to a fault, totally misguided on politics and just a delight to be around. He lost his beloved wife of 49 years nearly the same time we lost Nan so he is in a bit of a recovery time as well. He came to visit Pam and to witness Shanon's graduation and returns on Monday afternoon. He has been a huge boost to Pam in this tough time with her ankle just starting to heal from the surgery and broken bones. We had a day with visits to some of San Francisco's special places. It was a very warm day even in SF though when the wind came in the air began to cool a bit. I've just returned from Lodi after dropping them off. The van really showed its fine colors today with plenty of room for the wheel chair, comfortable seating, quiet interior.

So this will be short tonight as I'm very tired and ready to get a bit of rest before tomorrow dawns. I've included some photos of Timothy that Jo sent today. He is growing so fast and will soon be reaching for the car keys.

love to all,

tim

A fire is raging near MBA and Watsonville

Dear Family and Friends,
As I write this evening fire fighters are mopping up after a fire started along Highway 1 near MBA. Jason told me that there were many helicopters overhead. The fire burned at least 15 homes and appears to have been started by someone along the road. As a crow flies it was about a mile or so from MBA and that is way too close for comfort. Jason said there were lots of strawberry fields between the fire and the campus, a very good thing for MBA. Yet tonight dozens of families are out of their homes.

What a week! Do you feel that way too? Good things have happened, some orders have come in, a few checks so could finally pay the mortgage 20 days late! Glad I could pay it at all. I know this will all get better in time.
Tonight I'm thankful for safe miles driven, for the bug NOT breaking down in spite of intense heat at times, for healthy Kallie, Keanna and Timothy, for the safe return of Pam Whitted in spite of traveling in a wheel chair and Sylvia's return from the church building project she was involved with. I'm also grateful that Art, Connie and Liz are enjoying their trip and today crossed over passes that were over 13,000 feet. Tonight they are camped in a small KOA where Art said the units are parked about 3 feet apart, not much breathing space but the weather is cool there.
All I can say its hot here, really hot. I have my house set at 80 and the AC has still run quite a bit. Where I work in a tiny office I have a small window AC that does the majority of the cooling so I can work in relative cool.
This morning I attended a memorial service for Inez Van Meter, mother of two of our friends, Vikki and Karen. I was reminded again what a great job the kids did for their mom as she and pops got older. They welcomed them into their lives even more and did all the right things. The love that was expressed today by all at the service was precious to witness. At time I grew misty as I was reminded of our own memorial service held the little Tracy church 6 months ago and at the photos and words about their families closeness. Loss is loss, whether it be someone 90 years old or 55, it hurts, it is unthinkable and then it happens. All in all I enjoyed the service being reminded once again how precious family and church family is.
Finally Dana has been freed from baby sitting duties and she arrives Sunday at 12:15 in Oakland I think, need to double check the location. I can hardly wait and I know Nikki is very much looking forward to her coming as well. Dana is like a moving party, she has such a huge heart of love for everyone that you just can't help but smile to see her in action.
On Monday at 2 pm I will be giving professional testimony in a court in Fairfield and then on Tuesday I hope to be visiting with Roger and Carol in Sacramento. Tomorrow I will spend the day with Pam and her cousin who is visiting, that should be fun.
So now its time to crash. I hope each of you can have a meaningful weekend with the people you love. Its officially summer now, time to take it a little easier, enjoy the warm weather and do summer things.
I send my love to each of you,

Tim

Making hay while the sun shines...

Dear Family and Friends,
9:50 pm, been home 20 minutes from the grief group. The day has gone well, walked at 7, worked in this morning preparing for the day and dealing with conditions, orders, value checks, stuff! Left about 11:30 for Half Moon Bay and reached the destination safely. Amazingly it was very hot in this beautiful ocean front community. I found a lovely home, fully remodeled, check on the table, little dogs going wild in the back yard. After completing the inspection and shooting 7 comparables I was getting really hungry, it was 3:30 by this time. I found a little Mexican place, made me a bean and cheese burrito with whole beans, wow was it ever good. Then back on the road and using the cell phone I tried to reach someone at the Suisun City property, I needed to see it today to be ready for court on Monday. Just at a crucial turning point in Castro Valley the phone rang and it was arranged that I could see the property at 5. I set the GPS for Suisun City and at 5:20 arrived in 100+ degree heat. When you pull up and the house looks complicated from the car you sort of groan inside knowing that measuring the house is going to be a hot experience. However you just turn the AC off and get out and get started. The home was beautifully decorated and is the subject of a lawsuit between divorcing parties. After I finished seeing the house, shooting the comps I noted the time was late, well after 6 pm and I had an hour to drive to the grief recovery group. The trip went quickly and even though I arrived late it was well worth the trouble. I am always impressed with the desire on the part of so many people to keep on going, to keep trying and to keep on doing their best. It is very inspirational. Now I am home considering how one gets so busy when one has so little work to do. Am I thankful? Oh yes. Yet it is always a special moment to walk into the house after a very long day with tons of safe miles and be greeted by little Starr and Lady, they get so excited to see me, makes me feel a little bit less sad.
Tomorrow promises to be a busy one with appointments in Tracy, Lafayette, Emeryville. I'll be glad to get home tomorrow night. I plan to attend the memorial service for Inez, a very special lady who was always so positive and kind to the Tracy Church Family. That will be at 11:30 in the morning in Tracy.
Overall this has been a very encouraging week with time spent with Nikki, Steve, Keanna, Kallie, my brother Jerry, Donna, Ruth and its very nice to know both Sylvia and Pam have returned from their respective trips.
So my family, my friends here's wishing you a good evening, yes Barbara, you can go to bed early tonight. Thanks for the kind emails this week and encouragement.

love

tim

Working again

Dear Family and Friends,
10:20 highlights of the day *holding Kallie *getting new orders *getting paid for a new order *knowing my family and friends are safe as they travel *talking with a gentleman about GIST *eating cherry tomatoes from my own vines *walking around the lake *Sylvia Ahn returns from her mission trip this evening

I'm headed to bed after a warm day mostly spent in this chair at my desk. This evening I drove up to Oakley to see a house, bank owned, standing empty and the phone rang in my ear. It was a gentleman from Toronto calling to discuss his father in law's condition, trying to cope with the side effects of Sutent in Iran. Small world really. The people at the Life Raft GIST site had suggested he might want to talk to me about our experience with Sutent so I told him all I could, not much really. We continued to talk as I measured the entire home, shot my photos and then returned to the car. He shared how tough it was at first to even get the right medicine imported into Iran for the patient. Quite a story.

Yes orders did come in today and tomorrow I'm heading over the Half Moon Bay to do one, COD no less, the one I saw tonight was paid for today with a credit card, sure helps keep things moving along. The one tomorrow sounds great. Located a few blocks from the beach it was totally remodeled last summer and sounds great over the phone.

Jerry, Donna and Ruth made it home last night at 3 am. They were enjoying sorting the clothes today and their joy gave me peace and happiness as well.

So another day passes in this process called life. While we face setbacks, disappointments, fears we also have the very real sensation of our hearts pumping in our chests.

Welcome home Sylvia, you have lots to tell no doubt.

lv

tim

What a great day!

Dear Family and Friends,
This has been one of those special days, like Thanksgiving or Christmas. I started the day with a walk with Ken around Willow Lake. Then I went to work on reducing overhead again. This time it was a data company called Real Quest, a branch of North American. My average monthly expense with them is about $400, sometimes even more if we are actually doing any work. We've never had a choice, if you want their data and it is considered the best available, you pay dearly for it. I had called them yesterday but the rep failed to call me back so I called back today remaining nice but firm. I again requested to speak with the rep but he was on a call, later in the day he did call and we discussed options. He said they had just decided on a new program only for appraisers, a flat $150 fee per month which allows access to data for the entire state of California, not just a county or two like before. That is a significant reduction and I accepted. He emailed me the new contract which I will sign and fax back in the morning. I just praise God for Roxanna's visit early this week in which we discussed specific things that could be done to improve my situation and she strongly encouraged me to step out of my normal mode, to think, to consider, to worry and then to do nothing, she said, why don't you just move forward, make a list of things you need to tackle and then begin to do them. Since that time I've made changes that will reduce what I have to pay out each month allowing me to give more attention to getting current with the IRS and the State as well. As you know I've discussed mopping the floor for weeks, this morning I finally grabbed the bottle of Mop and Glow and actually read the instructions, just drip a puddle on the floor and then mop with clean water. Wow it really worked. I have the living room tile, the dining room tile, the family and kitchen pergo like floors all mopped and shiny. Yes I did vacuum first and found a whole lot of cat and dog hair, stickers, bread do dads that close the package, feathers etc. I've done so many loads of laundry, discovered the pillow I was about to pitch could be washed, the label has this stupid idea of washing two pillows as the same time, well stupid until the washer almost took off in the spin cycle so then I found and added a second pillow, now I have two clean pillows and saved some money too. The kitchen counters, the Jenn-Air top, the microwave oven are clean for a change. The back deck has no doggy gifts left. This feels good.
Well all the cleaning was for a very good reason, besides the unsanitary level of living here I had guests coming and basic pride said, do you want these people you love and respect to just feel sorry for poor Tim, look he can't quite get it together enough to keep the house clean or get busy and fix the situation. But I had special guests before the special guests even arrived. Nikki called to say we could do lunch at Aladino's, a local pizza place. She wanted to drop off the girls and she would go get the lunches. Great plan, the house was clean! So the girls came and sat on the love seat right beside the little baby carrier with Kallie sleeping in it while Nikki went to get the lunch. Then we ate some really delicious food and Nikki said they could stay until Jerry, Donna and Ruth arrived from Weed. Nikki took the baby upstairs to eat and rest and soon the door bell sounded, they had arrived. After a few minutes of chit chat the ladies went up and started looking through the rows of clothes and piles of clothes on the bed. I supplied 36 gallon plastic bags and before they finished at around 6 pm they had filled about 6 of the bags. What a wonderful thing it was to see so many of the things Nan loved go to such great people. Donna and Ruth worked steadily all afternoon sorting and considering. The sacks were unbelievable heavy and we used the stair chair to bring them down. Then Ruth and Jerry carried the bags to the truck and loaded them in, no small feat. With the hard work done we decided on Olive Garden in Tracy for dinner and feasted on salad, diet bread!, great entrees and iced tea. Keanna was an outstanding helper all day long and continued to be on her very best behavior all through dinner. Kallie was good too, she stayed asleep the whole time.
All to soon it came time to say good bye and they left for their 5 hour journey back to Weed, about 300 miles to the north. They were pulling Jerry's little fishing boat so the trip will be even longer, can't pull it too fast or it becomes airborne.
After days of no business calls my cell phone began to ring soon after they all arrived and by evening I have two new orders, once again Praise the Lord for that. And to add to the mix, both are located nearby, a relo in Brentwood and an FHA in Oakley.
So tonight the dogs and I are very thankful that today the house was alive with laughter and joy, that good things happened and that family was once again joined together. I'm learning that I can only take so long of time being alone until I need to mix it up with someone. I'm still considering joining the local health club as I could work out several nights a week there, swim and play some racquet ball. My main reluctance comes from the fact that I've belonged to clubs in the past and after a few weeks stopped using them yet had to continue to pay the monthly fees. I don't want to be in that position again, hence the time of consideration before taking the leap.
The photos I've included are, Keanna doing dressup in outfits she keeps here at the house, Kallie and me in a happy moment and Nikki, Kallie, Ruth, Donna and Jerry as we left Olive Garden tonight. Note how slim Jerry is becoming, retirement is working well for him!

So another step forward in the recovery process took place today, a gradual sharing of the clothes, a step that must take place eventually. I thank all who helped today.

Love to all,

tim

Its not good when a blood test is the high point of the day!

Dear Family and Friends,
10:30 and what waste of a day. Still no orders have come in, yes I need to complete ones I have already seen and no I've not done that. Instead I've continued to cut costs. Today I cut our use of NDC to one user instead of 2 saving $95 a month in the process, I reduced the business phone line from a cost of $73 a month down to $19.00 a month, waited all day for another data source to call me back. I intend to cut that bill down from nearly $400 a month to slightly over $100 a month and I emptied over 2,000 messages that had clogged our mustards@jps.net account to a halt as some of you have mentioned to me. Once I deleted all the thousands of messages then in a few minutes the service was working again. As soon as I learn how to connect this blog and the prior blog for Nan's recovery to my current email address then I will disconnect the jps account and save another $21 dollars a month. So in the past couple working days I've managed to reduce expenses by several hundred dollars without impacting my ability to produce appraisals at all. It was just support when we used to have several appraisers working full time and needed access points for data. I also have my eye on the bottled water account and I've got to get the stair chair on Craig's list. Sometimes I have a bit of trouble when I wade out into deep water, that is try to do something new that I've not done before, I get a bit nervous that I might be messing something up. Part of my makeup is to be timid, I hate confrontation of any kind.
I'm looking forward to having guests tomorrow afternoon. My brother Jerry and Donna and her adult daughter are coming to visit and to see if they can make use of any of Nan's standing inventory. This morning when I got back from the walk I dumped three drawers of clothes on the bed and then sorted them by type and size. This will make it easier if someone wants to claim an item. How nice it will be to have Nan's tastes for nice things spread to several people, to enjoy and make use of. I never knew Nan had so many pairs of soxs. She had soxs for every event, Christmas, valentines day, Hawaii, you name it and they are piled high in the middle of the bed now. Many of the items still have the original tags on them, there are jeans, pants, shorts, shirts, underwear of every color and size, dozens of nightgowns, light robes, well you get the picture. Many items caused me to pause as I remembered them from the past years, some from many years ago. In addition the closet racks are full of hanging clothes, shelves have sweaters, there are shoes.... on and on.
I've been mopping the floor a bit, sort of cleaning and using the vacuum, doing loads of wash, folding, carrying items. I guess I've been busy when I think of it. This afternoon I took the checks that came in the mail today, I thank the good Lord for them, almost enough to cover the house payment, the checks went to the bank, then I drove to the lab for a blood draw in prep for next weeks trip to the Cardiologist, then to Ace for a new door knob, the one on the garage door has finally broken completely after constant use for the last 20 years, then the car wash to remove several thousand miles of filth from the car, then to the club to find out details about joining. Do I join for a year? What is things change? I've freed up enough funds to more than cover the cost of $55 a month and I think it will be good for me to have something to do in the evenings instead of waste time like I do now. Yet its a hard decision, seems so selfish to spend that kind of money on myself. Especially when walking is free, not that I would stop walking, just add some weight training and swimming to the mix plus some good hard racquet ball.
Then home finally to rustle up some dinner, had some left overs from Strings and a tomato.
A Fathers day gift arrived in the mail today from son Jason. Based on the first chapter which I read before even sitting down I think this book is going to really help me a lot. I know Jason has already lost 6 lbs after a week using the book as the basis for his changes. Thank you Jason. What a great Fathers day, caring kids, breakfast fit for a king yesterday by Nikki, the book today from Jason. Wow!
I am thankful for life tonight, living right now is not easy for me and most likely not for you either. At the present time we all face many challenges but I happen to believe that God is fully aware of our plight and cares.
So good night my family and friends, I pray that Kallie will let her mommy and daddy sleep tonight.
love to all

Tim

Father's day breakfast at the Shipleys!

Dear Family and Friends,
This day could not have started off better! Nikki invited me to join them for breakfast, brunch really and it was great. While Nikki prepared perfect Belgium waffles and pancakes and scrambled eggs I had the high honor of holding little miss Kallie. She did her amazing thing, stretched and reached, opened her eyes wide and snuggled in while drinking from her bottle. She would doze and then wake to drink more, smile and wrinkle up her face. Keanna kept watch to make sure I was doing everything right. When breakfast was ready Kallie was ready to snooze for a bit. We enjoyed the perfect food and everything just seemed right with the world. Steve and Nikki have created a beautiful home with outstanding landscaping, looks like the tropics, decorated the interior of the home with crown moldings, tile floors with a bit of carpet, built-in entertainment center. They have worked very hard to get it all together and its very nice and friendly to relax in.
After breakfast I traveled back home, about a 10 minutes drive, and began to start on projects. During the day Dana called to give us the sad news that her grandmother duties have again caused her to put off her trip west. There is just no one else to watch the little 3 year old and 6 year old children and family does come first. We totally understand and are disappointed at the same time. Just come when you can Dana, we will be delighted to have you arrive.
I've been working on setting up a better filing system today and while tedious tonight I'm in better shape than I was this morning file wise. I've also found time to tweak the reef tank a bit and get the protein skimmer working again, repair a pump that moves water around rapidly in the tank and scrape some red algae off the front of the glass. Ken and I walked this morning in perfect 65 degree weather and solved the world's problems once again.
When I arrived home this evening after a pleasant meal at Olive Garden I found my new neighbors had already rolled the garage can out to the street, talk about service! They also installed a little device that encourages the dogs NOT to bark, wonderful!
I've been doing laundry, load after load of it today, folded sheets (how does one fold fitted sheets anyway) and prepared to mop the floor, of course I've been planning to mop for over two weeks now. This evening I stopped at Safeway for flax seed, of course I found none but I did walk out with $67 worth of groceries again. How does this happen, I had 4 tiny sacks of food. While I was at Safeway I ventured over for fuel. While I was out this afternoon the price of diesel had dropped from $5.05 to $4.99 and with the 10 cent discount became $4.89. The car had gone 575 miles this time, the most ever on a tank and the mileage was 43.09. I expected better. Still not bad, better than most hybrids and I don't have to worry where the batteries will go when they fail. I turned 171,000 miles this evening and one wonders just how much longer I can count on it being faithful. I've been hoping the check engine light would burn out so I don't have to look at it anymore but so far no luck.
I hope your Fathers day was very special to you. I had a very nice thing happen today as I waded through deep stacks of papers, I came across the anniversary card Nan gave me for 2007. You could tell by the spelling and the frail handwriting she was having a tough day but I will treasure that card, on the front it says Husband, Father, Friend and inside it says, For all you are, all my love. and its signed in her beautiful handwriting, love ya, Nan. Talk about a card that keeps on giving and to think I found it today. Very nice.
And so my friend the days unfold. This has been a weekend of rest, of taking chances with singing, playing, venturing out, of family love as we had breakfast together. I know where I belong, right where I'm at surrounded by family, by friends.
For those of you who like to read before you go to bed, I do apologize, I had no thought of being up this late but it happened once again. I'll do better tomorrow night!

love to all,

tim

I made it through the day

Dear Family and Friends,
I am amazed to discover that people read the blog. My life has become very humble and boring to me at least. It is so encouraging to know I am sharing thoughts and positive memories with people who care.
This morning Ken and I walked and then I selected a song and went over it many times on the piano, an instrument that almost is never played anymore. After breakfast and a shower I headed over to church. I found myself more nervous that I expected over the special music. In life sometimes when you are about to do something very difficult or even a little bit challenging and you are dreading it there comes a time when you just have to stand and face the challenge head on. After the morning prayer it was time so I walked up to the piano, moved the mike to a reasonable position, settled into the comfortable piano bench and began to play. My fingers do not work as well as they used to but they followed my mental commands and before I knew it the introduction was over and it was time to make music. The voice worked better than I had feared and in a minute or two I found more control. The words of the song were very powerful and spoke to the needs and realities of my own heart, I was worried a bit about that as I had no desire to break down. After the last note died away I walked back to the pew where I was sitting with George and Yvonne and then I teared up a bit, I was taken back in my mind to the last time I had sat near this place, Nan's memorial service. I kept telling myself that she would have wanted me to sing, to share and shortly the emotion lessened. The guest speaker was very good and challenged everyone to do something for the less fortunate in the community. I wondered how that might take place, what I could do, what I should do.
Although my first intention was to just run away, come home I decided that being with people was a better next step so I went to potluck. The food was tasty, the company was great and to interact with the Tracy Church family is always a privilege. Then sleepy as I was I drove slowly home, found the mail, yes some money finally came, not enough to pay a house payment yet but some. Entering the house I stumbled to the recliner and fell deeply asleep waking momentarily from time to time and then sinking deep into sleep. I actually slept most of the afternoon with pleasant calls to and from Art, Sharon, Dana, Jo Nelson, Irene, Nikki and Jason.
This evening I wanted to do something unusual, something special so at 9 I drove into Brentwood for a root beer float. It was just as great as I remember then. I've had nothing like that for many many months.
I'm told to be ready to go to breakfast sometime mid morning when Nikki and baby wake up. Sounds good.
So another challenging day is done. I think the thing about myself that I find so disappointing right now is the weakness and lack of drive to accomplish great things. I'm hoping I will soon rediscover it as this house and my life is growing cobwebs while I dither instead of act.
Barbara, a family member of Nan's took the photo from last night and worked on it today and sent it back in much better condition. Thanks so much. It is a huge help.
So good night my friends, my family and thanks Nan for a great 37 years together. You are the best ever.

love

Tim

Tomorrow would have been 37 years together

Dear Family and Friends,

11:05 pm, winding down after a rather boring day. I walked by myself this morning and had a lot on my mind, thinking of all the things I needed to get done before Dana arrived tomorrow. I returned the motorhome to its place in the RV lot, made a much needed deposit at the bank, pumped up the slow leaking tire on the van, showered, made breakfast which included blackberries that are so tasty.

I took phone calls, worked at getting listed on more places on the web for possible work in the future, forgot to have lunch, worked on appraisals, talked to friends and family and then decided to take Bob and Carrol up on their invite to Strings this evening in Stockton. As always it was great to see special friends. On the way I finally reached Dana only to discover that her baby sitting duties are not over and that the earliest she can come would be the 18Th, next Wednesday. I was disappointed. You see tomorrow is our anniversary, we would have been married 37 years. During the summer of 2006 Nan had not yet woken from the surgery of the 6Th so I spent the day in the intensive care unit beside her talking to her about our years together. Then the summer of 2007 she was too ill to be able to go anyplace for the day so we just spent time together which was very special too. Over the years Nan was really good at planning some special event, a meal, a dinner out, a trip, a concert, a show. She would drop hints for about a week in advance that a special date was coming up and I would eventually get the message.

When one considers all the sadness and broken relationships that surround us all it is so wonderful to look back on our years together. Nan was the glue that held us together, she had the steady hand, the even temperament and a heart that often had to forgive yet she loved me and in her last year I would often hear her telling a nurse that I was her rock, someone she could always count on for help and support. She built that rock and had to start with pebbles but gradually inspired me to do better, to dream larger, to try harder and by her example she taught me that we would never give up on life and living it well. I have only warm memories which extend from Pinecrest Camp where I first saw her at a breakfast table, beautiful head of long blond hair, deep blue eyes and a stunning face, then I heard her sing, then we sang together, then she needed a ride to her orthodontist in Lodi, then we were in love, I proposed to the music of Brigadoon on a ridge overlooking the Napa valley, we were married the day after graduation in Lodi in the old church with some borrowed flowers, a borrowed dress, rented tux and a host of family and friends. We drove to the Oregon Coast for our honeymoon to a house that looked over the ocean owned by a distant family member, toured Crater Lake, Mt Saint Helens and then returned to PUC where I worked the summer as a plumber and she in the food service of the college. That fall we loaded all our things into our new Celica and started our trip to Texas and then Andrews University. The car carrier I had constructed broke and we ended the trip with it tied to the roof of the car with ropes that came through the partially opened windows of the car. We moved into a tiny apartment and began school again. Nan was taking HIFS training which would result in a certificate that allowed her to run food services for hospitals, rest homes and schools. I waded into 2 years of the seminary training and was exposed to some incredible giants of faith and knowledge who taught and led the seminary. We were assigned to a little church in a nearby town, Niles MI. The people were so kind to us and we felt like we were home with them. One couple took us under their wing, Wink and Warren B Warren. They were just great to us as we worked with their church. The winters had snow, lots of it, the summers were hot, very hot and humid but we lived well and enjoyed our friends, a boat we had picked up, our church family and by the time we left Andrews University we were well on our way to having Nikki who arrived after we landed at Sac Central as the minister of youth and music.

Nan not only did a wonderful job with Nikki but also helped out with hundreds of youth programs, events, potlucks, campouts. She never complained, she just pitched in and worked hard. The church people at first found her cool, she was naturally shy, but then discovered that she had a heart full of love for all, young and old. It was there that we met Marilyn and Walt and Barb and Gerry Lammerding plus a host of wonderful people. Eventually we were called to Tracy and in the summer of 1976 we moved from Carmichael to our first rental home in Tracy, a few homes from where Loren and Emily now live.

Nan just met whatever challenge that came up with grace and courage. She lived a good life, did not care much what other people thought or said, just lived life the way she thought was right and rarely had to say she was sorry, she just didn't have to. The people of Tracy discovered that she was willing to work hard, was never up front except to make music and was a team player. And in Tracy Jason was born. As I think back now we used to let them walk all the way to school or ride their bikes. One could not possibly do such a thing today, it would not be safe. Since our parents lived in Washington and Texas our children did not often see grandparents, yet the people of Tracy were wonderful about becoming a support system for the kids. Our kids still remember the people of Tracy with great fondness, a very special group of people.

Yes I have great memories, of fine times, of special moments, of a wonderful life. Nan was the single most wonderful person I ever met, she knew me completely and still chose to love and cherish me. She gave me her life and I deeply appreciate all that she gave.

So this evening I send my love and my deepest appreciation for all of you who have helped Nan and me live our lives, for your wonderful support in cards, emails, hundreds of phone calls over the years. Nan was blessed to have such a high caliber group of people to love her. You did it well, you did it perfectly and on her behalf I thank you.

love to all

tim

ps A word about the photo. This was taken during a wedding held in a local Tracy park. It is a picture that means a great deal to me. Recently the cat knocked the picture over and broke the glass. When I decided to share the photo this evening and tried to remove it from under the broken glass I discovered the bottom half is stick very firmly to the glass hence you see the glass in the scan. I'm not sure how to remove it without ruining the photo and there is no way to recreate the photo either. It was one of our favorite together photos which we enjoyed over the years.

Kallie goes to tumbling class!

Dear Family and Friends,
This afternoon Nikki called to let me know Keanna was going to a tumbling class so I hurried up and drove over to lend support. When I got there Kallie was being held by a lady Nikki knows and finally she gave her up and I got the honors. This tiny little person with wiggly toes and fingers is so fine. While Keanna played and exercised I held the little one. Finally I had to surrender her to her mother to be strapped into her car seat / baby carrier. Then we drove to a nearby Mexican place for a quick dinner. Of course once we were seated the baby woke up and wanted, demanded to eat. So Nikki took the first shift feeding her the bottle and then when I finished I got to hold her and feed her several ounces. She takes her time to eat just like Keanna did but can eat a lot for such a tiny baby. She will not be tiny very long I am afraid. She is so strong and healthy and impossible not to just love with your whole heart. Keanna is being a very very good big sister and is so helpful. We are all so anxious for Dana to come visit. Keanna is counting the days. And frankly so am I.
This afternoon Loree and Scott were getting ready for a huge birthday party for their daughter. They had so much stuff to take to the hall and some huge balloon pieces. I realized that the motorhome, that just sits week after week, would have enough space to hold things so I drove the van to the parking lot and brought the coach to their house. Loree just called from the party to say it all worked out great and they were able to haul everything to the party with plenty of space. I'm so glad it worked out for them. Loree has done so much to help our family over the years and we can never even begin to return the favors.
It took a call from my brother today to let me know that there are many fires burning in Northern California. I had not watched the news lately and had missed the whole thing. Next week Donna and her daughter are coming down for the day to help with finding a home for some of Nan's clothes. Wouldn't that be wonderful to have them used instead of just hanging in the closet, you gotta know Nan would be delighted to be sharing them.
I went to the grief group this evening. Two different people brought yummy treats. Several people shared their feelings of being out of control in their lives, yes they do the right things, take care of their daily duties but have little heart for any of it and little hope for the future. I share some of those feelings as well. What is there to live for? Its like being in a room where a party was held and now there are just present wrappings, popped balloons, empty plates, the party is over.
For me personally the driving force is my precious kids and their precious children. For these little ones Pappa is not some old guy who has made so many mistakes, no he is a guy who really loves to be with them and do fun stuff like go to the park or read books or watch DVDs or go to Sabbath School. I happen to be just silly enough to believe that they need me and that I can be a part of helping them prepare for life and eternity. And in that sense the party lives on, their precious little lives.
love to all,

tim

Lunch at Taylors, Thanks Dolly

Dear Family and Friends,
This has been a pretty good day overall. The wind was blowing so hard this morning that I missed the walk around the lake. It had blown hard all night, rattled the blinds, shook the chimes and sometimes even the little house. Starr just snuggled even closer to stay warm. I was able to nearly complete an appraisal this morning before the time came to leave for the Oakley appointment. What a set of contrasts, beautiful kitchen cabinets and Corian counters, newly laid tile floors, family room had a beautifully assembled fireplace. On the other hand the entire furnace and central AC had been taken away, the house has no interior doors, the kitchen has no appliances and there were no wall plug or switch covers anywhere. Of course it is bank owned and the people losing their homes tend to do some strange things on the way out.
Then it was time to set the GPS for Novato in Marin County. I arrived there to find it very warm even in the middle of the day. The property there was a two story town home in decent condition with one very broken window which was boarded up. When I completed that appraisal I called Dolly who had promised lunch or dinner depending on the time of day. She had just completed her shift working for the rental car company and was ready to eat. She asked if I minded going to Taylor's. She said they had wonderful vegeburgers. She was so right. The food was excellent and I enjoyed the time as we chatted about our lives and their ups and downs. Dolly would often drive over to see Nan and has really excellent prayers, in the same mature vein as Irene. There is just something very special about being a part of a prayer where the person doing the praying really knows the Lord on a personal basis. Finally Dolly and I had eaten the last crumb of our lunches, she needed to rest and I needed to start the journey home. I'm a bit concerned about my bug lately. It cools well when driving up to speed but in stop and go traffic I can hear the compressor turn on and off repeatedly. I know that will shorten the clutch life and I need to find a way to get it into the repair shop before more damage is done to the other AC parts. It felt good to finally drive into the garage tonight, to greet Starr and Lady and to settle into the work chair to check messages, the mail and do a bit of clearing of the desk. I noticed that when you turn your back on a work desk the papers multiply and stack up.
I've got to put a plug in for the new blue tooth earpiece AT&T supplied yesterday. It is half the weight, much more comfortable and is the best Jawbone yet. For those of us in California as of July 1 we cannot use our cell phones in the car without a hands free device. I really urge you to consider a blue tooth device, very simple to keep charged, to use and in spite of the way it looks it just make things a lot safer.
One envelope got my attention, it was from PG&E and was a 48 hour notice. Well having had the power turned off once at the house when several people were working at their computers I do take notice of 48 hour warnings so I went on line, checked the bank account and then paid the past due portion of the bill on line. Talk about waiting until the last minute! Yikes.
Well someone called on the phone today to request an appraisal so I am seeing it tomorrow morning at 10. Hopefully they will be willing to pay up front and that will help keep the cash flow working. I can't remember any time in my life when money was this tight month after month. It helps one appreciate little things like slowing down in the car. I got 300 miles on the first 1/2 tank in the bug when I usually struggle to get 250 miles. The only difference is 65 instead of 75. Its worth it I think.
I am still in hopes that Dana and Anthony can come on Saturday for their visit and to help with Nikki, Keanna and the baby. I know Dana will get here as soon as she can and has her hands full right now with her own grand babies. She reminds me of Mary Poppins.
Pam travels to Seattle tomorrow using a wheel chair. Our prayers are for her to avoid blood clots and to have a safe and secure trip. She gets to witness Shannon graduating from College. How very exciting for her and for Shannon as well.
Good night,

Tim

Roxanna brings hope and encouragement

Dear Family and Friends,
This morning started with a brisk walk around the lake with Mr. Ken. A short time later Roxanna was ringing the door bell. She is here on a brief trip to see a new grand baby. I was delighted to see her. Nan lived with she and Rick at their home in Conn. while in the trial program at Dana Farber in the spring of 2006. Roxanna made many many trips to Boston, 2 hours each to support Nan and then to be of help after the surgery event. Talk about demonstrating what love is, she did it over and over again. We had a great time catching up and she provided some real encouragement for me to tackle some things I have been putting off. So shortly after she left I called 611. My goal was to maintain Nan's phone service but as a backup and piggyback line on my account, a reduction of monthly fees from about $100 to about $9.95. It took over an hour and 4 different reps at AT&T but they did it and in the process discovered that I have a ton of unused roll over minutes. So I opted to a lower monthly plan of 1,400 minutes instead of the astounding 2,100 minutes from before. That also reduced the monthly charges. So if you call Nan's phone, 925-354-7677 you will still hear her sweet voice greeting you which was a connection I was not anxious to break.
On a roll with the phone company I next called the hospital to see why a payment I had made was not credited to the account. She gave me good news. Insurance had come through and wiped out the amount owing, a few hundred dollars. So one step forward there as well. Then there was the MLS line that needed paying and PG&E is anxiously awaiting payment. Thank you Roxanna for helping me move forward on little things that need to cared for. And thank you for the visit. I know your time is precious when you are only here a few days.
Two orders appeared today, orders which I will see tomorrow, one nearby and one in Novato which is a long ways off. But hopefully I can work the day so as to be near Napa for dinner tomorrow evening. Dolly who taught us this wonderful appraisal business years ago has offered dinner if I'm in the area and that sounds like a great offer.
The weather here is warm but all day long the wind has blown fast and furious which kept the temp down to a decent level. Even the dogs have stayed inside, not wanting to be blown about or to endure the heat. Right now Starr is sleeping just behind my chair and I have to warn her if I decide to move or I might hurt her little paw, she would not like that at all.
Something very nice happened today, a little blessing. I decided I had better label the tape in the camcorder which contained pictures from the hospital of Kallie and family and shots of Clayton's graduation. In the process I discovered I can hook up the camcorder to my little flat screen TV by my desk and watch the tape while I work. As I was going through the tapes in the case suddenly one fell out with an Art and Connie label. We had all thought I had accidentally thrown that tape away months ago and had given up. What good news to discover it and I let them know, they were delighted also. The thing I really enjoyed was seeing a brief shot of a smiling Nan in her wheelchair at the wedding. It was so good to see her again.
It is now officially time to head to bed. I am grateful for life, friends and family.
love to all,

tim

Clayton graduates

Dear Family and Friends,
This morning Clayton received his diploma and a Bank of American Award at MBA. The weather was perfect and since the service is held outdoors everything was beautiful. I've included several photos from the day.
I started the day with a quick walk to the park with the dogs and at that hour we had it to ourselves. Then back for a quick shower, some yummy breakfast, you see I found this package of breakfast cereal in a cupboard, not sure when we bought it but it seems to be good and there is nothing moving inside the package! Then quickly I try to think of everything, card, best buy gift certificate, camcorder, battery charger, water and snacks in case of diabetes flareup. Set the GPS for Aptos and hit the road. There was little traffic and I arrived at the graduates were beginning to march in. I was exposed to the sun for hours as the service plodded along until finally they marched out happy and with their awards. Julie and Jo had a spread of food prepared and the Leoni's were busy setting it all out and working the BBQ with loads of good things. Clayton opened his presents and seemed to really enjoy his big day. Timothy was happy just to crawl everyplace and enjoyed all the people who wanted to hold him. Later I was surprised to see the time so I headed home by way of Art and Connie's home. Art was loading the motorhome and together we were able to solve the water heater problem. Tomorrow they head out for a long trip to middle America and Connie's sister Liz is traveling with them. They will have a great time.
This evening I am feeling the results of being in the sun way too long today, my face and head is burned fairly red. Touching any of the red areas is not fun. So hope to find some aloe stuff someplace in the bedroom.
Tomorrow I am seeing the one order I have to my name. Its located in San Francisco but I'm delighted to be able to do some work.
I am asking for your help tonight. Each month the financial situation grows a little more iffy as there is less and less work to complete. Please pray that God will guide in this vital area of my life, I would like to continue to meet my obligations but I really need God's help in a special way.
I am happy to report that Pam is now sleeping better, that the pain is less and that the long recovery process has begun for her. She is bravely facing her future and is getting work brought to her from school so she can take care of "business".
So my friends and family, wishing you a restful night and peaceful day tomorrow.

love

tim

Keanna goes to Sabbath School

Dear Family and Friends,
For a day I just let the worries rest. Nikki called this morning to let me know Keanna had set her alarm, was up and looking forward to Sabbath School. I had walked the dogs around the park, showered and arrived to find the baby needing holding while Keanna finished up her breakfast. Well she actually completed it on the way to Tracy. Kallie was stretching and yawning, so cute and precious.
Kim led out in a very good Sabbath School as usual and then we stopped by Burger King for a combo lunch and playtime. There were many children there today which Keanna loves since she can organize them and lead them in their play. Finally she came and announced it was time to go so we did. She looked forward to seeing her friend Annie but that didn't work out. Last this afternoon Nikki called to see if LaVia sounded good, its a little Mexican place in Bethel Island with low low prices and excellent food. I rode in the back and got to watch Kallie sleep. She continued to sleep all the way through the meal. Keanna did a great job on her orange juice, rice and tortillas. Then back to their home and then to mine where I found the dogs were ready to greet me and tell me how boring it had been without me. This afternoon I tweaked the boat a bit and found it would start so I think its ready for an outing or at least nearly ready. Not sure if the battery is going to hold a charge or not. I have it charging again tonight.
I went to Safeway for milk and $79 later I came out with fresh fruit, vegetables, salad mix, beans and yes a gallon of skim milk.
In the morning I leave early to witness Clayton graduate at MBA and then I'll stop by Art and Connies to wish them well for their journey which begins on Monday. They plan to drive their clever little motorhome half way across the country and back. So far the water heater is refusing to make hot water which is a bit of a problem.
Its so good to see people at the Tracy SDA Church. Today Jim and Kaloa (sp) Miller were home and I've not seen them for years, got to see Wes Huffman who used to write clever little responses to the blog but is now on strike, wants a huge wage increase, double what he used to be paid. Also Bob Miller, Fern, Emily and Loren and many others as well.
Now its time to rest.
Thanks for being involved in our lives. It means a lot to all of us. I really enjoyed having dinner with Nikki, Keanna and Kallie tonight. It was a very special time to me and helps make sense out of a life that is sort off base sometimes since we all lost Nan. There is nothing like just being with people you feel safe with and love. The calls, the talks, the emails are all very precious.

Good night to all,

love

tim

Pam recovers

Dear Family and Friends,
I'm relaxing at home after an interesting visit with Pam this evening. She has had a decent night and today she mostly slept. The pain is starting to get better. Joshua Want is staying with her helping her and keeping her company. He's doing a great job. Earlier I enjoyed soup and salad at Marie Calenders. Leave it to Bob to have coupons and a deal. Because it was his birthday we all had a free piece of pie, I had strawberry and it was great.
I walked late this morning, woke and since I had no walking appointment rolled over and finally Starr kicked me out of bed. I wrote an appraisal, dealt with some business issues, picked up the battery charger from the motorhome, dropped the tiny frig off at Nikki's house, made a tiny deposit at the bank.
I am starting to get the boat ready for a maiden voyage for this season. It has been two years since I've been in the boat. Steve had kept good care of it buying a perfect cover for it and making it run better. Of course the battery was totally dead and was out of water in the cells so I found the distilled water, filled them, fixed the battery charger and it is now getting a boost.
I'm glad this week has come to a close. Tomorrow I will get to take Keanna to Sabbath School and that will be great.
My amazing daughter loaded up her girls this morning and drove to Livermore for lunch with her friends from the Lab where she normally works, then to the mall for pictures. They were running a special so it took a very long time. Then a quick trip to see Stephanie who fed Kallie two bottles and then Nikki headed home. I can't wait to see the photos. Nikki did not plan to make such a huge day of it but it turned out that way. Steve was wondering where she had gone as evening came on.
On a totally different subject the book Sylvia lent me, Eat More, Weigh Less by Dean Ormish has some really good stuff. The chapter I am working on right now raises the issues surround why we eat when we know better, why we keep eating when we are not hungry, issues about belonging, about feeling isolated, about living in a world now that values being individual and independent. He talks about the way things used to be where people spent lots of time with a number of people including family, we all knew we belonged but now we are so far apart that we often eat to satisfy the loneliness, not just for fuel. I'm deep into the chapter but one comment was meaningful to me. He said never eat while doing anything else, not listening to music, not watching TV, not working, reading. Make the process of eating an enjoyable one by itself, in other words let the texture, temperature, taste of the food create their own moments. He said he'd rather have one bite of excellent ice cream and let it slowly melt, savoring the taste, the coldness, the moment instead of a dish of fake stuff eaten while watching TV where there is little awareness of the taste, totally missing the joy and goodness of the food. Are these new ideas to you, they certainly are to me. I never give a thought to how it tastes, just cram it down and get it over with so I can do something really important.
I'll share more as I read more and I tell you as my witnesses that I intend to live a different life, one with a weight level of 150 not 225. At this point I have no idea of how to break the cycles that keep me where I'm at but I'm not giving up, I want my grandchildren to be proud of their grampa, not have to explain why he is so heavy. Wow this is hard.
Hope your week worked for you. Take time this weekend to love someone near you, just forget yourself and love them.
yours,

Tim

Pam's surgery is a success

Good evening,
Long day but Pam is resting well this evening at home. For those of you who do not know Pam Whitted was one of Nan's closest friends over the past many years. Time and time again she has stayed the night with Nan on critical days at hospitals often arriving at 10 or later and caring for her all night. Pam is the principal of a challenging school in Stockton with hundreds of children and since her arrival test scores have improved, reading comprehension is better and discipline on campus has improved. Its a tough job and she does it with love and devotion usually working until 9 or later each night. Since the fall in her shower a couple days ago she has been in extreme pain and today a surgery was performed in which three different bones were plated, screwed into place. She can put NO weight on the foot for the next 6 weeks. Her daughter Shannon will graduate in a week at Walla Walla College in Washington and Pam planned to fly there next week. Now the plans are somewhat up in the air as the surgeon does not want her to fly fearing blood clots forming yet understanding she has to see her daughter graduate. My humble part was to pick up the special ramps that Bob and Carrol own and deliver them to Pam's home in Lodi where we worked on installing them. Shawn will complete the installation which will facilitate Pam's coming and going by wheel chair. Ryan who is her third year medical student arranged to be off today and came home to assist. He and Shawn were great and we brought her home this afternoon after she woke from surgery. She needs our love and prayers as she copes with this setback to her busy life.
I made it back tonight in time for the grief group which was excellent and helpful. Often funny and often tragic people open their experiences and feelings to find support from the other members. Someone brought the best strawberries of the year tonight with some non fat whipped cream, very tasty. Now I'm home unwinding. Art has been especially helpful today knowing this has been a tough week with huge money worries, blue moments due to the 6 month anniversary passing and extreme joy in seeing the new little one in action and getting to spend time with Keanna and Nikki. Yes a check did come in the mail today which is most welcome. The hardest part is to decide which of many financial obligations I need to work with first. There are so many.
So my friends and family, thanks for your prayers and support this week, for the text messages, calls, emails. What a huge help it is to be remembered and loved. One of the high moments of the day is talking to Nikki and Jason, knowing they are OK and doing well means everything to me. On Sunday I'll drive down to see Clayton, Jo's brother graduate at MBA. I think I have to do special music this week in Tracy but I'm not sure if it was this week or the next that Sylvia asked me to help with. I'll find that out tomorrow and practice if I'm expected. It will be the first special music I've done in years, should be fun providing the voice will still work.

Good night my friends and family,

love

tim