Tomorrow would have been 37 years together

Dear Family and Friends,

11:05 pm, winding down after a rather boring day. I walked by myself this morning and had a lot on my mind, thinking of all the things I needed to get done before Dana arrived tomorrow. I returned the motorhome to its place in the RV lot, made a much needed deposit at the bank, pumped up the slow leaking tire on the van, showered, made breakfast which included blackberries that are so tasty.

I took phone calls, worked at getting listed on more places on the web for possible work in the future, forgot to have lunch, worked on appraisals, talked to friends and family and then decided to take Bob and Carrol up on their invite to Strings this evening in Stockton. As always it was great to see special friends. On the way I finally reached Dana only to discover that her baby sitting duties are not over and that the earliest she can come would be the 18Th, next Wednesday. I was disappointed. You see tomorrow is our anniversary, we would have been married 37 years. During the summer of 2006 Nan had not yet woken from the surgery of the 6Th so I spent the day in the intensive care unit beside her talking to her about our years together. Then the summer of 2007 she was too ill to be able to go anyplace for the day so we just spent time together which was very special too. Over the years Nan was really good at planning some special event, a meal, a dinner out, a trip, a concert, a show. She would drop hints for about a week in advance that a special date was coming up and I would eventually get the message.

When one considers all the sadness and broken relationships that surround us all it is so wonderful to look back on our years together. Nan was the glue that held us together, she had the steady hand, the even temperament and a heart that often had to forgive yet she loved me and in her last year I would often hear her telling a nurse that I was her rock, someone she could always count on for help and support. She built that rock and had to start with pebbles but gradually inspired me to do better, to dream larger, to try harder and by her example she taught me that we would never give up on life and living it well. I have only warm memories which extend from Pinecrest Camp where I first saw her at a breakfast table, beautiful head of long blond hair, deep blue eyes and a stunning face, then I heard her sing, then we sang together, then she needed a ride to her orthodontist in Lodi, then we were in love, I proposed to the music of Brigadoon on a ridge overlooking the Napa valley, we were married the day after graduation in Lodi in the old church with some borrowed flowers, a borrowed dress, rented tux and a host of family and friends. We drove to the Oregon Coast for our honeymoon to a house that looked over the ocean owned by a distant family member, toured Crater Lake, Mt Saint Helens and then returned to PUC where I worked the summer as a plumber and she in the food service of the college. That fall we loaded all our things into our new Celica and started our trip to Texas and then Andrews University. The car carrier I had constructed broke and we ended the trip with it tied to the roof of the car with ropes that came through the partially opened windows of the car. We moved into a tiny apartment and began school again. Nan was taking HIFS training which would result in a certificate that allowed her to run food services for hospitals, rest homes and schools. I waded into 2 years of the seminary training and was exposed to some incredible giants of faith and knowledge who taught and led the seminary. We were assigned to a little church in a nearby town, Niles MI. The people were so kind to us and we felt like we were home with them. One couple took us under their wing, Wink and Warren B Warren. They were just great to us as we worked with their church. The winters had snow, lots of it, the summers were hot, very hot and humid but we lived well and enjoyed our friends, a boat we had picked up, our church family and by the time we left Andrews University we were well on our way to having Nikki who arrived after we landed at Sac Central as the minister of youth and music.

Nan not only did a wonderful job with Nikki but also helped out with hundreds of youth programs, events, potlucks, campouts. She never complained, she just pitched in and worked hard. The church people at first found her cool, she was naturally shy, but then discovered that she had a heart full of love for all, young and old. It was there that we met Marilyn and Walt and Barb and Gerry Lammerding plus a host of wonderful people. Eventually we were called to Tracy and in the summer of 1976 we moved from Carmichael to our first rental home in Tracy, a few homes from where Loren and Emily now live.

Nan just met whatever challenge that came up with grace and courage. She lived a good life, did not care much what other people thought or said, just lived life the way she thought was right and rarely had to say she was sorry, she just didn't have to. The people of Tracy discovered that she was willing to work hard, was never up front except to make music and was a team player. And in Tracy Jason was born. As I think back now we used to let them walk all the way to school or ride their bikes. One could not possibly do such a thing today, it would not be safe. Since our parents lived in Washington and Texas our children did not often see grandparents, yet the people of Tracy were wonderful about becoming a support system for the kids. Our kids still remember the people of Tracy with great fondness, a very special group of people.

Yes I have great memories, of fine times, of special moments, of a wonderful life. Nan was the single most wonderful person I ever met, she knew me completely and still chose to love and cherish me. She gave me her life and I deeply appreciate all that she gave.

So this evening I send my love and my deepest appreciation for all of you who have helped Nan and me live our lives, for your wonderful support in cards, emails, hundreds of phone calls over the years. Nan was blessed to have such a high caliber group of people to love her. You did it well, you did it perfectly and on her behalf I thank you.

love to all

tim

ps A word about the photo. This was taken during a wedding held in a local Tracy park. It is a picture that means a great deal to me. Recently the cat knocked the picture over and broke the glass. When I decided to share the photo this evening and tried to remove it from under the broken glass I discovered the bottom half is stick very firmly to the glass hence you see the glass in the scan. I'm not sure how to remove it without ruining the photo and there is no way to recreate the photo either. It was one of our favorite together photos which we enjoyed over the years.