20/20

Dear Friends and Family,
One more hurdle... is history. This morning we walked at 6 am, long before the sun was up. I showered, had some breakfast and then did some work, at 9:15 I left for the bank and Dr. Whitted's office in Stockton, well the car forgot to turn right so the deposit was not made until later. The helpers at Bills office were kind and put me through several tests which included getting high pressure air blasted into the eyes, now that was fun. Bill did his usual very complete exam and found no negative effects from diabetes. That was what I was most concerned about. I had been told to consider smaller frames, that they might look better, well the girl helping me said new ones had just arrived, would I like to see them, well they were the perfect ones for me so I have new glasses on the way with the ability to darken in sunshine, resist glare and overall gray in color. Even with the much appreciated discount they came to almost $600. So now to find enough funds to cover that new cost. Bill took me to lunch which was excellent, someplace called the elephant grill or something like that.
Driving home with fully dilated eyes was a real challenge even with the little dark plastic sleeve that slips under the glasses. Then to sit at the desk and try to write an appraisal was even more challenging but I did manage to get one written and emailed out before leaving this evening for a grief recovery group meeting. Between Loree and me we've put in about 10 orders in the last couple days, mostly FHA purchases they are sparking new life into a very dead office. Loree has been busy turning her daughter's rooms into works of art with a paint brush in hand. Wild colors that sound great.
I enjoyed reading emails today from friends and family. Seems everyone had a pretty good day, here in the west the weather was perfect and encouraged deep breathing and slowing the pace to enjoy the many flowers in bloom, the hills in glorious green and the smiles on people's faces.
So tonight I have a sense of peace that my eyes have not been damaged by the ravages of diabetes. Now to get by the heart tests next Tuesday and Wednesday, oh how I hope things are OK.
My biggest accomplishment might seem like nothing to you but to me it was a huge step. I opened my sack of baby carrots to replace all the other junk I sometimes snack on and have a little bowl of carrots by the desk. They taste great and I know I cannot gain weight eating carrots. Another little step in a long line of self correcting moves to a different life style. Keith is absolutely right, this is not really about losing weight, it is attempting to discover a new way to live that will carry me through the rest of my days. I've not faced a challenge like this with as much determination as I'm finding in me now. I want to live, I want to be ready for the next steps whatever they are, I want to be helpful, to win, to learn, to water ski, to snow ski, to play racket ball again. I need your prayers and I need to know you are considering your options too, how will you live the next 10 years of your life?
I'm very grateful that you keep on reading my musings, Bev Scot wrote the other day to me, she is from high school days back at Laurelwood, how nice to hear and Judy Anderson wrote, a friend from Laurelwood and a bit of Walla Walla too. Your investment in my life is not wasted. I often pause to consider what a blessed experience to have interaction with so many and how awful life would be right now if I was truly alone day and night. Its enough challenge now to keep on going when voices say, give up, why fight any more? Thank you for being here with me.

Take care of yourselves and your special someone. Take time to love those God has given you.
love'

tim