At MBA again

Dear Family and Friends,
Well here I am at the little table in the motorhome, its about 11:30, the dogs are signalling that they think its time for bed. I've just come back to the motorhome after getting to have a couple hour chat with Jason. I decided this morning that coming to visit Timothy and family might be a good idea since it will be several weeks before I can come again to visit. Next weekend is the campout with the Tracy Church Family somewhere above Modesto in the foothills and hopefully the next weekend we might start moving toward a new baby. Nikki thought it was a good idea to come visit since she and Keanna are going to be very busy this weekend and would not need me. So as the day progressed the idea grew stronger and stronger. I called this afternoon and reached Jo, she seemed to like the idea of my coming and later Jason confirmed that it was a good weekend to visit. I had an appraisal to do in Vacaville this afternoon which I did and then I returned home to pick up the motorhome, load it up with all the needed items and then at 7 I started driving this way. The trip down was perfect, no traffic and 100 miles later I was pulling into the kids yard. The dogs enjoyed the trip and I finished up an excellent book I had been enjoying for the last few days. I was glad to arrive as I was getting tired and worn out.
Its not as much fun to fuel the motorhome these days. $75 used to fill the tank over the half mark, not any more. Will these prices ever decline, they should tie the prices of fuel and homes together. Houses are in a steep decline and fuel prices are in a steep incline. And we are all caught in the pinch. Ouch!
This has been a week of ups and downs but I know the good Lord was watching over all of us including me. As the week progressed several orders finally arrived. One died as soon as I checked the comps. They had hoped for $200K and I can only find about $130K at this point in time. Then there is the other end of the process, its called conditions. This afternoon I opened an email to find numerous questions being posed about an appraisal I did recently. Why did I do this and why didn't I do that? Not sure I even have all the answers the underwriter is seeking. Guess this person does not get out much or he or she would already know the answers, prices are dropping rapidly and I used the best comps I could find on the day I saw the house. New ones now might be lower. Conditions are the unfunded part of what we do. Anyone in the whole process can demand more work and of course there is no additional payment so you end up working sometimes several hours for nothing. Its part of the business and to complain is a waste of breath and energy.
I have thought a lot about the gems gleaned from the grief group last evening. One can never attend without being reminded that others have it tougher or are having it tough right now. Oh how I wish I could solve some of these huge health problems people face. I gain a lot of courage and strength from a couple guys who lost their spouses about a year ago. What they say and how they feel now is really helpful as I live this experience 5 months later day by day and night by night, how I miss waking up and looking over at my beautiful Nan who always looked like an angel when she slept. She never made any noise and has such shallow breathing I often would jump up and put my ear down to her chest to hear her breathing. Sometimes I would watch for a minute to see if there was any movement and then I would see it as her body slowly breathed in and out. There was never anything crude or rough about Nan. She was a lady all the time at home and in public. She was funny, had a dry sense of humor and was so positive and persuasive. Jason and I were remembering how much she loved to drive down to see him and Jo even when the trip hurt and was very tiring. She loved her kids and her grandkids and there was never a question about that.
I am gradually getting over my resentment toward the entire universe for taking her in the prime of life. It happened, we did everything we could and trusted God to work things out as well as possible. Now we just have to accept that He knows how to make everything work out for the good eventually. I often wonder what my future holds and with work so slow I wonder about the near future as well. I do have bills, mostly IRS bills that I have to deal with but I've come a long way in the last 5 months and God has been there helping with all the details.
I do thank God for caring friends and family, for material blessings, for a safe and warm place to sleep at night, for more than adequate food, for good books, good music and the deeply satisfying hope for the second coming of our Lord in the clouds. The thought of seeing Nan again without tumors is thrilling yet seems so far off.
So dear people, hold fast to what you believe, grip the ones you love in her hands and hearts and have a great weekend and special mothers day.

love

Tim