Being papa brings joy

Keanna and Kallie are sleeping in their rooms as I write. They arrived about 5:45 by mommy taxi and have been little angels all evening. Keanna is nursing a nasty cough and just could not go to sleep the first time so came down and we watched some silly sponge bob square pants cartoon together. I got her grammy's heating lap blanket out and put it over her and the warmth seemed to help her coughing. Finally she was ready to go up and I think this time she is asleep. Kallie came in in a good mood, played in her jumping exerciser for awhile and then Nikki fed her while I made dinner for Keanna. She really put away the pasta and apple juice. She played with her beautiful dolly that she had brought with her for awhile and then watched some Dora DVD's Lois has supplied. I held Kallie for a long time and she was content to just watch and play with her own IPOD but she wasn't much interested in drinking much milk. Lois came to visit for awhile and Kallie enjoyed talking to her. Finally even though Kallie gave no signs that it was bed time I took her up to her little port a bed and she went right to sleep. Changing her diaper is an experience. You'd think she was trying out for some exercise contest as she kicks her legs, rolls her body and waves her arms. I finally managed it but felt like I had been wrestling a tiger! The bedrooms are so beautiful now that Sylvia has taken extra junk out and made up the beds with attractive matching linen. A special nice touch is the pink blanket that is on Keanna's bed is the blanket that is in so many of the photos of Nan as she rested in her recliner during the final months. She loved that blanket that Dana had purchased. It was warm but light and in fact I spent many nights under it tucked in when I slept in the recliner next to Nan. It is a blanket that holds special memories for me and to have it on Keanna's bed is a perfect touch and I told her about it.

Keanna has become very interested in the nativity sets that Nan collected from around the world. We have them grouped in two curio cabinets which are lit by tiny halogen bulbs which I leave on day and night as night nights. I've shown Keanna how to open the cabinets and she will take out a set and admire it and then put it back. In that light I presented her with a puzzle which is a nativity set from Costa Rica which I think Nan and I purchased years ago when we were there on a cruise, it could easily have been a gift from Jason who has also been there. Anyway I presented it to Keanna tonight as a beginning of her own Nativity collection and since it is also a wooden puzzle she took it apart and then put it back together again. It is very clever and she said we could talk about Jesus as we worked.

I must say that moving from a busy day pursuing income and driving about 4 hours today to the calm and tender time with the girls is a most welcome change. Suddenly a rush that has little long term meaning, appraising properties and trying to cover expenses slips away and here you are with two precious little lives that hold nothing but promise, beauty, honesty, vitality and energy. What a fabulous experience and its a great way to close out the work week.

I am finding that due to the nearly two months of coughing and feeling ill that its somewhat of a battle to hold back depression. When one feels less than ideal for so long it gradually starts to become a new way of life, an undesirable one. One person writing to me today related how she finally grew tired of coughing, sort of forced a test and found to her dismay that she actually had pneumonia. A new course of antibiotics quickly kicked it. Sometimes I wonder if I have something lurking, during this day I've had bouts of coughing that last 5 or 6 minutes, they are intense and somewhat alarming. By the time I finally stop I've grown warm, am exhausted and my head throbs. Its not a pleasant experience. You feel like a pariah if you happen to be in a public place or around people. You just want to avoid contact so as not to frighten people. Plague comes to mind!

In the morning we'll go to Sabbath School and then have a quick lunch at our favorite place, the Olive Garden, then Nikki has plans and I will attend a service for my friend from grief group who has died. Doug was really an interesting guy and already the group is different without him. His courage and honesty challenged us all and we were proud of his willingness to stay in the battle even though sometimes at great personal cost. I know how much his wife and family miss him this week and what they are going through as they do the hard work of saying good by and beginning the process of life without him. It feels unreal, unfair and just not possible yet it is real and unfair and cannot be avoided.

I was so touched by a personal email from Irene this week. Here she is battling with GIST and searching for the next step in her personal battle with a very unfair enemy and she is giving me tips on dealing with coughing. How like her to take the time to be of help and comfort.

There are many good people in our world, people who may have different labels, may have quite different behaviours or traditions than our own but there is so much goodness, kindness, thoughtfulness. God's spirit is still alive in so many ways and I've felt many of them this week. I hope I've even been on the giving end of a few this week. The very idea of just smiling at those you meet is quite nervy, walk through a CostCo and smile at everyone you meet, you will get many positive looks back, a few wary ones, a few ignores and some frightened glances too. I was touched by the accounts of the New Yorkers who ran the banks of the river trying to help the passengers trapped on the plane's wings, the same people that on the streets almost never look at each other as they walk the sidewalks in a hurry to be somewhere. People want to care and from my considerable experience of being in thousands of homes people sure want to be listened to. Most have a story that is just ready to spill out if given a chance.

I've been very uncomfortable for years with the whole concept of trying to persuade another adult to adopt my point of view or belief system. Early in life I watched my dad as he went through the process of selling a Mercury or Lincoln to a potential buyer. I have always recoiled from having my arms twisted to buy something or try something or think a different way. I have considered some kinds of evangelism almost malpractice when gimmicks like soft music or scary stories are used to lead people to a "decision". It seems like our Lord can speak to a person's heart with the still small voice of the Holy Spirit and do the convicting without gimmicks. I've never been comfortable with selling something to someone else that they did not want. I'm fine with providing a service if someones wants that service and is asking for it but to try and force someone to buy something so I could make a profit, well that one is beyond me. What do you think? Are there times when using tactics to soften up someone is appropriate in getting them "saved"? I know the world, the devil certainly use every technique in the book to sell us on sinful stuff, to tempt us, to lure us but it seems like a good caring example backed by willing answers when one asks why remains the strongest method in God's arsenal of winning the lost to Salvation.
Someone said that a person persuaded against his will is of the same opinion still. That seems true. And what about young people? Should we try to fortify them when they are young against what we know they will face later on?
Some thoughts to ponder. I realize I'm probably way to timid, I do not like to confront anyone ever about anything so that is my bias.
Sending you good thoughts on this gentle Sabbath Friday night.

love

tim