Monday, December 8, 2008

Rough day


Good evening,

Has evening finally arrived? I'm sure ready. After a great soak in a very warm spa last night a 30 minutes from heaven I slipped into a deep slumber. As I slept the fever broke and I woke up feeling some better, that was not to last. Serious coughing has controlled my entire day and as a result the chest is sore and its painful to move around. I've had a fire going part of the day to hold off the chill and had oatmeal for breakfast with my last orange, tasted great, tomato sandwich for lunch and who knows for dinner, soup sounds good again. Anything warm and gentle on the throat.

during the day I made a huge glass of lemonade but this time with warm water. That has tasted good as the time passed. I've been writing appraisals and every two hours going to the mailbox to check for checks, well finally a few minutes ago the mail came and there was a Readers Digest, an insurance bill but NO checks. I know a couple are in the works and I expected them last week so hope for tomorrow. Also there are a couple that I'm rumored to be able to collect either tonight or tomorrow locally.

I need to get out and see houses again but can't until I feel better, not fair to go into someones home and leave them these germs, not going to do that.

I am facing some minor issues, washing machine now leaks when you run a load, two tires on the van are losing air rapidly and need replacing, furnace has quit, firewood is running out, I have two pieces left now from my little pile but I have lots of scrap wood which burns quickly but warmly, my printer is printing mostly dark images on the page now, the main fish light fixture refused to light. Yet in spite of these minor little things that tend to stack up I'm warm as long as I'm near a space heater, I have good food in the frig and pantry, the bug runs well, I don't have to run the AC these days at all and the spa is hot, ready for another soaking. I think I will get better eventually health wise. Sure would be easy to do a pity party but would probably be a waste of time. Today is one year from the memorial service in Tracy where John and Karen did such a good job of reminding us all of Nan's amazing life.

Most of the time I survive by staying busy and just not thinking or by spending time with amazing friends that are so positive and uplifting. Its when I really stop to think, to consider that the life I once had with Nan is no more, that there is no hope of reclaiming it with Nan, that's a hard moment to cope with. However I do believe that life can be very good again, not the same, not the same script or the same plays but there are new life experiences and new scripts ahead and I have come to the place where I often consider that instead of just the lostness and pain. No one could ever step into Nan's shoes, no one needs to. They were filled very well by a vibrant lady for 55 years. Now they rest.

You can be forgiven if you don't understand why I say what I say sometimes. For some of you who have lost your special person you understand perfectly and can identify. Don't feel bad that you can't completely sympathize now, you don't need to. Its not something to be learned or anticipated, when it happens you will know very quickly and loving family and friends will help you through step by step and act by act. Some of the loving actions I have been on the receiving end of in the past year are so profound and thoughtful, they are overwhelming. That's why I look to the future, people do care and I need to as well. My loss is a year old now, others have more recent loses and they need tending to now.

The primary challenges I face at this point are financial and weight. My weight was down a whole lot this morning, there are advantages to being sick. It seems like I work as hard as I ever worked in the past yet the income never catches up with the challenges, at least not yet. However in the past two weeks I have picked up another local lender who used to order years ago and are back now so I'm trying to go the extra mile to help make their deals work out well and demonstrate that I do care for people. Of course its a lot easier when you aren't sick like today.

I would appreciate your prayers as I face some challenging issues right now and I think you in advance for the prayers.
I thought I'd share a photo of the Christmas decorations in the front yard. What do you think? Where is Marilyn Titherington when you need her. The deer are her creation and they need her!
Good night to all,
love
tim

3 comments:

Deborah W said...

Yes, you much be feeling poorly to be posting so early. I hope you get to bed early, too! I read somewhere, who knows where, that putting Vicks Vapo-Rub on the soles of your feet and covering with socks, when you go to bed will ease coughing. I tried it and it worked for me! I have had two nights of easy, much-needed rest, so maybe it will work for you, too. Get well soon. Deborah

Anonymous said...

Hi Tim,
The Vicks cure does work! Give it a try. As for the deer ~ they are supposed to be staked down. There should have been some stakes with the deer. We have 2 by our sign. They just won't stand up very well without stakes.

Now that we have all your problems solved for the day I can go back to bed.

Love ya ~ Carol

Anonymous said...

Hi Tim,

Hope this finds You feeling better. At least the Sun was shining today, I suppose the fog will move in with a vengence tonight, always does after it warms up a bit.

Carrol & I both had early Dentist Appointments today and each of Us had 2 fillings done. Our Co-Pay was "O" $$ thank goodness for good insurance.

Tonight is the Marine Band of the Golden West at the Hutchens Street Square It is always a Great Show to see Our Tax Dollars at work. Wish You could be here to enjoy it with Us.

Christmas Music at Both Churches this coming Sabbath. We are singing at both of the Program's, Fairmont 11:00 and E.Oaks 7:00.

Have a good rest and We will Pray for good things to come in You Mail Box tomorrow.

Love You,

Bob & Carrol.