A whirlwind blessed my house

Dear Family and Friends,

This day brought solemn reflection and joyous wonder. Without being melodramatic at this point 1 year ago Nan was still with me. I slept in the recliner under a big pink blanket and as the night progressed I moved the recliner directly beside her bed. I could reach out and hold her hand without totally freezing. We kept the room cool to hold off the tumor fevers which would grip her from time to time. Her breathing was measured but steady during the night and only in the early morning hours did it become more shallow. For a few minutes the sound changed slightly to a bit of a raspy sound and then it was gone, a heart a tiny sigh and then I heard just the sound of my own heart beating and a silence that seems to roar in the room. There was nothing to do, no heroics, all that had been done for months, now it was just acceptance that the long battle that spanned the country many times and the state of California many more times, that long quest for a cure, for more time, the battle had ended, the journey cut short, the good times fell quiet. For Nan the 55 years that began in a plantation in the south, grew in south Texas, migrated to California, fell in love in the mountains near Tahoe then became a wife, mother and finally grandmother had come to an untimely close. QVC would have to find a way to survive without her orders, airlines would have to rely on other flyers, baby stores would need new customers, the streets and roads would be safer without speedy and all our lives would become just a little bit more boring when we lost her.

I know there are never two people just alike and we are all unique but Nan was very unique. How she hated to not have her way, could it be a Nelson trait? Or perhaps just a human trait. And she knew how to love her kids and their kids. She lived for them and took very good care of me along the way.

So tomorrow morning I will wake at 5 to remember and grief the loss of a great individual who simply wanted to live and love yet another day but was denied by run away cells who mindlessly destroyed her chances. Will there be a cure? Probably but of course it won't be soon enough for Nan but perhaps it will be soon enough for someone else's Nan or Mary or Susan. It just can't come soon enough!

Tomorrow Jason is going to drive up in the morning for the day. We will take flowers to Nan's grave and then have lunch together in Livermore where Nikki can slip away from work for awhile. We will talk of her, remember her and together miss her with an intensity that will probably never be quite the same again. One year of recovery, of moving forward, of relearning how to live, how to celebrate birthdays, Christmas, anniversary without her. She was good and we had it good while we had her and nothing and no one can ever take that away. For many of you who knew her well you know what I mean, she was a kick to have around, whether playing dominos or rook, shopping, watching reruns, eating out, walking the beaches in Hawaii, singing together, oh there is so much to remember fondly.

The whirlwind I speak of has a name, Sylvia. She tremendous person has taken on the "mission" of creating a bachelor friendly house with everything in its place, with matched blankets, sheets, towels. This evening as I drove home from work I was filled with gratitude because I knew she had been here all day sorting, throwing useless things away, creating large sacks for the interfaith ministry of useful things that I no longer needed. The result of her labors is nothing short of amazing. God has granted her the ability to work in a systematic way that results in order that makes sense. I've included a couple photos I just shot of bedrooms that were a mess before, now they are welcoming places for guests (hint hint) to come and enjoy. The kido room is a friendly place now with space to play and a nicely made up bed for rest. Thank you Sylvia for your help on this day that we all knew would be a bit tough, you have made such a difference, and now many other people can benefit from the things I no longer needed. Its just a win win.

One could not receive a nicer gift than the untold hours Sylvia has spent making things better. From me and from the family, thank you Sylvia for what you have done. And all of this in the context of the day of challenge for she and her boys for on the 15Th they and we all lost Steve.

Today I was in Stockton at 8:45 for a meeting with a group of individuals who will eventually transfer 12 million dollars into homes for first time buyers with limited incomes to purchase. The meeting was interesting and I made a brief presentation and then mostly listened and watched as others worked on details. Then I drove to San Jose for an appraisal. As I drove up and parked I remembered back to a day not so long ago when we had attended Art and Connie's wedding in Gilroy and then on the way home while Nan slept in her bed in the back of the van I did an appraisal. The homeowner remembered that I had told her my wife was resting in the van so another happy memory as we laughed as I bumped my way around taking comp photos and she kept saying, can you find any more bumps and yes I found more bumps to disturb her rest. As I was leaving San Jose a lady called to ask where was I? I had called for an appointment but she never called back, well she thought we had an appointment so quickly glancing at the time I decided I could fit it in so I set the GPS and raced to Hayward, then on to see a carefully groomed home in Oakland before heading home. It was very nice to know that someone would be here when I got home and Sylvia had a really nice meal ready. What fun that was to have someone to eat with, then more good news as her son called to say he had his new Honda fresh from the dealership. There is nothing more exciting for a your person than their first new car that they have picked out themselves. Great news and a great car.

Finally tonight at about 10:30 Sylvia decided that her work was done and tired by satisfied she settled into the drivers seat for the foggy trip home to Tracy. Her car was filled to the roof with sacks of every description and its a van!

And now since its 12:15 and I'm walking with Ken at 6:30 in the morning I think its time to head to bed. Thanks for indulging me with such a long blog tonight. Frankly I have a lot on my mind and it is a joy to be able to share.

Good night my friends and family, you are the best in the world!

love

tim