Saying good bye to Doug

Dear Family and Friends,
This afternoon many members of the local grief group gathered along with a large number of friends and family to say our final goodbyes to Doug. The service filled the little Methodist Church here in Byron and the service was a really good experience. Many photos of Doug and family from different parts of his life lined the walls of the church and several large ones were up front. As people shared from their hearts a picture emerged of a man who served in Vietnam, ran his own business in the early days of pagers and cell phones, experienced success but accounts of his many adventures showed him to be a man who loved to live. Whether it was a trip to Disneyland or a ride on one of his Harley's he knew how to make and keep friends, support his family and live life to the edges. He will be missed by so many in the area yet he set a good example of good priorities with his esteem for his family and especially his little grandchildren.
After the service I had the privilege of a long conversation with Patty, my neighbor and friend from grief group who lost her husband Chuck a couple years ago. She cares full time for her 5 grandchildren and her life is never easy. She has so much wisdom and such a load to cope with on a daily basis.
This evening I finally made it to Comcast to turn in two cable boxes that I've never used, they just would not work on the upstairs TVs due to our antiquated wiring. The person said that I would save about $14 a month, too bad I didn't do it when Marilyn and Dana told me to many months ago. Oh well, its done now.
This evening I've just been lazy, sort of put the family room back in order after Keanna the whirlwind blew through and found myself smiling as I remembered all the games and activities she went through as she played with her hospital, a truck with trailer, dolls, games, etc.
This morning we went to Sabbath School and the program was great. Keanna jumped right in and enjoyed doing all the activities. Then we got to visit with Sylvia who is in charge of a group of children that are a little older than Keanna and the program we attend. Then it was off to meet Nikki and Kallie at the garden. Today's big events, Kallie tried pieces of bread with most ending up on the floor, she also drank water through a straw for the first time. She was very surprised to find her mouth full of water. We had a very nice family time together and Nikki always makes meals so pleasant and positive.
I came home to grab a quick nap before heading to the service. It seemed short.
Now Ken and called to say we are walking at 7:30 in the morning, how very decent of him, a chance to get some great sleep tonight.
When my precious little kidos are here I find myself on a more alert basis than normal trying to foresee any dangers that might lurk for them. It was so good to have a house that was warm all over and free of the dampness that had permeated the bedrooms in the past. The girls both slept well and Nikki retrieved Kallie at about 12:20 this morning.
Our weather continues to feel like spring and I'm sure this warmth is awful on the snow mass in the mountains. That part is sad. We need rain, lots of it in spite of the messy world it creates for an appraiser.
My coughing has grown worse this evening. I hesitate to even contemplate a world without coughing as right now it seems like a pipe dream. Yet one can hope.
Thanks for the nice emails I've received today, some with sad news, others with encouragement. My heart goes out to any family dealing with cancer, it effects everyone in the family to some extent and it is such a cruel disease. What a waste of humanity for so many to become so ill and have their lives cut short by this mystery.
In spite of living a fairly normal life I still have lots of thoughts about Nan. On the 23rd I think she would have been 57. How I would have loved to be secretly planning for yet another birthday party and I remember with great fondness the support of so many of you as I had parties for nan's birthday for the last two years of her life. She was embarrassed by the attention yet deeply appreciated the love and care from so many family and friends. Thank you all for your sharing in these warm times.
I'm determined to get some kind of fitting gravestone for her final resting place. While it is true that business has turned better in the last 30 days I do not have enough to just go purchase and have installed a monument yet. I will feel much more comfortable going and spending time with her when I can know for certain the spot, have a place to hold flowers and see a photo of her there. It is on my agenda of things to do. This month more mundane things have come up that required funding, 2 new run flat tires for the van, IRS deposit, obtaining the new MLS data from San Jose and next week settling yet another of the remaining accounts for a second data source that has hung over me for the entire year. None of these have been small amounts, each has required hundreds of dollars and I'm so grateful to God for the funds to deal with each. In fact tomorrow I'll be chasing down two appraisal fees which may require a trip to Walnut Creek for pickup but its well worth it to keep things covered and moving forward. To sort of set the tone for the new year Blue Cross sent a letter which arrived today which moves my personal health care month payment from $774 to $840 the beginning of March. Ouch!
So I'm not without challenges but I'm also blessed with abilities, wonderful clients and a business that has been very good to me over the years. The transition from ministry to something else is often very challenging at best and the Vogels extended the opportunity to learn a new profession and smoothed what could have been a much more difficult time.
So my friends, here we go into a new week, are you ready? I sure don't feel like I am but the week will come at us ready or not.

love

tim