Chasing dollars........

Dear Family and Friends,
Its 8:30 and I'm finally slowing down. I have a trusty mocha by my side, have cleared up the emails from today, have an early morning appraisal in Sacramento confirmed and will make a bank deposit tonight before I go to bed. Unfortunately it is far short of the amount needed to cover the house payment that hits the bank at midnight tonight. Let me tell you about today...

Ken and I hit the pavement in the cold this morning at 7. Our walk was uneventful, our legs continued to work, we solved the last few remaining problems left in the world, greeted our regulars, other walkers crazy enough to keep walking in spite of the cold and weather and ended up strong, that is for guys our age, we were still standing. The real telling moment is when Ken has to bend over to retrieve his newspaper from the sidewalk, creaks and groans emerge. I don't creak and groan because I've cancelled the newspaper!

It was hit the shower and make oatmeal for breakfast and rush to the office. Steve arrived shortly later when Kallie, she stayed with me for a few hours while Steve did an appraisal and we had a great time, no she really did not want the bottle and yes she enjoyed sitting in her little exersaucer and in my arms. Finally she showed evidence of the sandman so I took her upstairs to the guest room where Nikki had prepared a safe place for her to sleep. I moved the transmitter for the monitor close to her, made sure the room was not drafty, left the door open and went down with the monitor close by. She slept for over an hour and then gently woke up and began to make soft baby sounds. I brought her down and after a bit Loree arrived to do some office sorting and filing and we took turns holding and talking to her. Then her daddy arrived with a diaper and they hit the road. During the morning an order for an appraisal had arrived with the great tease, check will be ready at the door. So instead of having a lunch I took some string cheese and peanut butter crackers and drove to Antioch. The appraisal went smoothly but I was watched very closely by the Arab owners who were curious about what I was doing. Then after shooting the comp photos I pointed the bug toward Tracy where I attended the funeral for George Harty. They had a lovely dinner afterwards with many choices of good food. I even tried cabbage that Peggy Nunes had brought. With just enough time to spare I went to the local Speedee to have the oil changed in the bug. It was only about 5,000 miles overdue. George always takes great care of me there and got me on the road in a short time. I've grown used to trying an experiment there. There is a small waiting room where people tend to sit and look straight forward without talking to each other. Its fun to just be bold and start talking to one of them and before long they are all drawn in the conversation including the girl behind the counter. makes the time pass more quickly, worked today like usual.
I forgot to mention that there were several Adventist dignitaries at the service including Dan Matthews who is often seen on SDA TV shows and has a great speaking voice. He and his wife had driven up from LA to attend the service having known George at some point in the past. I found to my personal delight that during the congregational singing my voice actually worked today. I felt it was what I could do for George today, sing and so I did. When I am able to sing without coughing like today I tend to remember many of the past opportunities I've had to sing and places where I've had the chance to touch lives with music. Music is such a great blessing and I tend to lament what passes today as music. A joy to my heart is little Keanna who has demonstrated excellent pitch and tone when she sings. She loves to sing and I love to hear it.
After the oil change I headed home through the rain and mist and got to talk to Jason which is always a special moment, after I got home Dana called to remind me of summer plans she and Ron are working on. It will be great to see them again in July. Of course I've also had the great privilege of taking several calls from bill collectors, some that agreements have already been agreed upon and after they check their records they say, oh my, so sorry to bother you! Yea right.
Without complaining I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be able to make payments on time, not have to pay late fees, have taxes current, have adequate income so money could be going into retirement accounts. What would it be like? Many of you live in the world I just described, are you bored? No I didn't think so, its called being responsible and living within ones means. Great concept and I'll get there but just not soon.
Friend Art is in Indio these days caring for their southern home. He reports the temperature has been in the 80s so far this week and no they have not had rain, they only get 2.5 to 3 inches per year there. He and Connie have been very busy with yard work, household chores, needed repairs, the door bell is still eluding his solution to its silence. They will be there for a couple weeks roughing it in the sun and fun.
When Dana called she causally mentioned that her gas purchase today was at a rate of $1.99 a gallon. They must have lots of gas in Houston is all I can say. All the bad effects and damage from the hurricane have been removed from their property now with Ron sawing up the last broken limb this evening. They are back to normal.
And so life goes on, busy, full of excitement, some down time of quiet reflection on loss, finding hope and glimmers of the future here and there. I can only imagine how lost Gloria must feel right now, this evening and in the evenings to come as the kids have to return to their homes, friends go back to work and the cold reality of the crushing loss descends like fingers of ice into every moment, everything. yes most of us do get up and go on but its like we are crippled as we stumble forward trying to find a reason to go on, faking it until we begin to make it. There are many of us, we are living in homes on your block, in the pew, at the store, on the road. Suddenly thrust into a world where everyone else seems to have a partner, a spouse, a happy life, no cares in the whole world, it just seems like that sometimes until you begin to listen or observe.
I feel like I've been spared so much of the bad stuff I hear at grief group or in the homes of those I visit, sad stories of kids who didn't have the time to care, of people telling them to get over it, be normal, stop crying or others who just have no one to even talk to. Here am I, surrounded by the best kids and grand kids in the world, by friends who will not let go and seem to say and do the right things over and over, family who support, not advise or criticise. I am very very fortunate and blessed!
So love to all, pat yourselves on the back, you really are good guys, every one.

Tim