Well it is more interesting when you have two little people under your normally quiet roof, little people that are under the age of 6, that have energy to burn, ideas to try out, an enormous desire to play games.
I last wrote after Sylvia had finished her playful shift and gone home at around 9. Shortly thereafter Keanna went to bed after the ritual of story reading, starting the princess CD player with very quiet music, prayers and mandatory drinks of water and trips to the bathroom. She settled in a came down and wrote the blog. It was not long before she began to cough and it only grew worse. She came down and settled under a blanket on a couch nearby and I went up and started up the Lois given humidifier and gave Keanna some nose spray shots. At about 11 or so she went back to bed and fell asleep. I took went to bed with a trusty monitor nearby to let me know how Kallie was doing. The girls took turns coughing during the night and at 4:33 Kallie woke me with a start, she was playing quietly in her bed and making happy sounds. Nikki had given me careful instructions which I followed. First warm up the bottle by immersing it into a glass of hot water, when the bottle is room temperature they Kallie will drink it. Stumbling downstairs in my warm robe I found a partially completed bottle, warmed it guessing that it was enough. Then I quietly entered Kallie's room where she was quietly playing with her monkey and blanket. I kept the room light low, changed her and then took her to a recliner where she had the bottle straight down. Then still keeping it quiet and dim I put her back to bed and in a short time she was sleeping soundly again not to wake until 7:45. Keanna did not roll out until after 8 am.
Then the fun began as I warmed a bottle for Kallie and let her play in her exerciser with her little kido IPOD and pink blanket. I started Keanna's toast, warmed her sausage, peeled a banana, opened the pears and poured a glass of rice milk. Then while she was eating I held Kallie and she drank a bottle. When I tried to feed her she was having none of it. I took her back upstairs and discovered a seriously nasty diaper, I mean can we take a paint brush and paint the entire body, yikes. So while holding her by her feet and began to hose her down with baby wipes. Finally I began to see pink skin again and knew I was making progress. She just kept up her windmill arms the entire time and laughed and smiled, glad to get rid of the load, no kidding. Keanna came to see how it was going but left muttering something about a bad odor. One more bottle and Kallie was out for a nap and Keanna and I played games and then started on a 100 piece puzzle which we will complete on Tuesday when she comes to visit. Nikki arrived about 11:45 just as Kallie was waking and they had a happy reunion, Kallie was all smiles to see her mommy and Keanna had many things to tell her, about Sylvia repairing her bunny, about pictures created, movies watched, good food excellently prepared by chief pappa! Hyperbole perhaps.
And then it was quiet, really quiet, too quiet. I loaded the dishwasher, started a loaf of bread baking and had a mocha.
For anyone who has grandchildren the story I have just shared is nothing new and for those unfortunate ones who have kids unwilling to do their duty and give you grandchildren you won't totally get it yet. It is an experience like none other, you are constantly reminded of dim memories when your own were little yet these ones seem to move so much faster, take such terrible risks, talk back a bit and seem to stretch your abilities a bit more, could it just be age or are they really hooked up to the energizer bunny by invisible wires of power!
I love my three little kidos very much and during the night I had an epiphany. For some time I find myself fearful, in a way I never felt when I was younger. I sort of lived without fear, drove without fear, traveled and did sports without a lot of fear, yet last night as I would wake and hear little coughs or another noises, was I hearing gurgling? were they OK? were they at risk? checking on either would involve opening doors that enviably end up making noises and probably waking them. So I just laid there with my fears and suddenly I realized that I've changed over the years through what happened to Nan, hundreds of times I would wake and gently place my hand on her arm or body just to feel the movement of her breathing, or walk back into a hospital room quietly and touch her to see her breath, I was afraid I would discover that I had lost her while I slept or was away and after living with that constant fear of her dying for so long it became a way of life and last night I was struck by my fear of danger or the unknown even though every precaution had been taken, the house was warm, dry, locked up tight, beds were free of anything risky, precautions had been taken. Can you understand what I felt, perhaps yes, perhaps no depending on your own frame of reference and experiences. It was a wakeup call to me to move back from dreading the worst to living in the thrill of life and hope.
On another topic while some dumb game was going on I was engaged in the important work of creating the perfect loaf of bread and it worked. Filled with whole wheat flour and flax seed it tastes great. Yes I know one should not eat warm bread but one does need to know if the loaf turned out good or not, yes it did!
I've had a day without any serious coughing and if this holds perhaps I'll be able to join the guys in Modesto as they work on some numbers for churches in the area. We'll see.
I wish you a good week, one with hope in spite of this constant flow of bad news, some real and a lot just hype. We all just need to get back to basics, care for each other, spend a lot less and be grateful for what we have. Its a new era now and how it will turn out is not up to the government or the state, its up to us. We can do this and live through it.
love
tim
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