Monday, October 20, 2008

Wooden it be lovely

Dear Family and Friends,
This morning I heard noises outside, it was friend Art Diaz backing a pickup to my fence loaded with all kinds of wonderful firewood. He not only delivered it but he went ahead and stacked it on the back porch in a firewood rack that Nikki and Mom provided. The wood rack includes a cover to keep the rain off. The rack is half full of wood just waiting to be burned, thanks so much Art and Ron, that's whose house it came from.
The girls were both in rare form this morning, happy and ready to face the day. Nikki had the house so tidy and all decorated for the season, Keanna was loving it, ate her breakfast right down, dressed herself in spite of the arm and then I woke Kallie who beamed as I scooped her up out of her little sleep sack. Sadly I had to leave the girls at school and sitters and then back to the house to shower, made steel cut oats, ate a pear (after days of waiting it was just the right ripeness). Then I began to work and pretty much cleared the desk. I'm seeing the last order I have tomorrow morning in Orangevale. Oh and one did come in today for Lodi. When Keanna left with her mother for dance class I hit the road and managed to get the photos shot before darkness fell. On the way home I found diesel for just $3.29 which is quite a change from the $5.00+ I was paying a few months ago. Then a quiet ride brought me home to relax and enjoy seeing cats, dogs and the fish.
Once again I've been thinking about some of the experiences I shared with Nan as we battled GIST on a daily basis. For the better part of 12 years although we had setbacks often we also had hundreds of days of happiness and warm togetherness. Even on the darkest of days when new tumors would be reported or some organ stopped working we still would hold hands, look into each others eyes and find the deepest of joy at being together. Sylvia and I were talking about characteristics the other day and she remarked that both she and Nan had a pretty level and balanced way of looking at life on a daily basis, she is right. And oh what a privilege it is to live with a real adult, a mature person who is not out to impress anyone with anything, knows the goodness of the moment and revels in the love of family and friends. We all benefited from Nan's stability and her coolness under pressure. She would say just after horrible news would be pronounced, well what can we do, what are our options? And then set out to do the right things for everyone concerned.
Soon it will be 10 months and in some ways it seems like yesterday yet in many others the pain and sense of loss is dulling into a permanent place and no longer dominating every waking moment. One of my hearts desires is to get a marker in place, a headstone that lets the world know who is resting there and is a reminder that we have not forgotten her powerful and dominate place in all of our lives. Nan was a force to be reckoned with, a real family hero.
Good night my friends, I'm sending my love to each and every one of you.

love

tim

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Tim,
I'm just getting caught up on your BLOG this a.m. I've had a busy week! Didn't Nan die in December? That would make it nearly 11 months. I'm sure the year has gone slowly at times and at other times sped by. Time does heal, but you never forget ~ nor should you.

Keep cranking out those orders! They will continue to come in as you NEED them.

Love you ~ Carol

Anonymous said...

Hi again,

Looks like I sent my comment on the wrong day. Oh well. You are getting to be quite the bread expert! You make an awesome loaf of bread.

That part about lacking dreams ~ in today's economy and political mess we are in ~ it is difficult to dream, to make plans for the future, to have any idea what the future holds for any of us. I believe the Lord IS coming very soon and the only plan we can make is to prepare our hearts and our relationship with our God. "We are living we are dwelling a grand and awful time..." We talk about Christ's soon return. Now it is very real. It is no longer a cliche.

Hang in there my friend. Soon you will be reunited with your precious Nan!

Love ~ Carol